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"Anna and the Apocalypse": Another Teen Zombie Christmas Musical
Do we need another teenagers vs. zombies movie?How about a teenagers vs. zombies comedy-horror-musical mashup?Set in Scotland.At Christmastime.With a lesbian character.Ok, we have one: Anna and the...
View Article"The Legend of Greg": Torn between Elf Boy and Dwarf Girl
The Chosen One is always the one you'd least suspect, born in a manger, living under a stairway, excluded from the reindeer games.Or a pudgy, friendless 13-year old.Greg, son of an eccentric...
View ArticleChristopher Masterson in the Middle
From 2000 to 2006, Christopher Masterson played eldest brother Francis on the dysfunctional family sitcom Malcolm in the Middle, starring Frankie Muniz.. While Justin Berfield's Reese got most of the...
View Article5 Heterosexist and 5 Gay-Inclusive Christmas Specials
Have you ever noticed that most Christmas specials are annoyingly heterosexist. Here are the worst examples:1. Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol (1962): Why is Magoo/Scrooge so miserable? He was so...
View Article"Santa Girl": Are You Really Expecting Gay Characters?
I've never understood movies and tv shows that make Santa Claus's toy distribution a business. He gives away the toys for free, so where's the profit? Unless...your parents secretly pay him, which is...
View ArticlePhilip McKeon after Alice
Philip McKeon was one of the biggest teen stars of the 1970s, mostly for his role as Tommy Hyatt, son of single mom Alice Hyatt (Linda Lavin) on Alice(1976-85), and also because he was the brother of...
View ArticleThe Disappointing Beefcake of "Animal Kingdom" (Not a Nature Show)
When I was searching for beefcake pictures of Joshua Cody of Santa Girl, about a thousand pictures of this guy appeared. Another actor named Joshua Cody, with a respectable physique.But he doesn't...
View Article"Happy Endings Sleepover": Spiy Twinks in Denmark Fall in Love
Happy Endings Sleepover (2019) is an oddly inappropriate title for a movie about international espionage.Johnnie Allen, a bleach-blond twink who looks about 15 (Jeppe Forsgaard, right, in his first...
View ArticleWhy I Walked Out on Tony Danza
October 10th, 1978, a Tuesday night. I'm 17 years old, a freshman at Augustana College, studying in the tv lounge at the student union. It's crowded with jocks and their girlfriends, Dungeons and...
View Article"Home for Christmas": It's Not What You Think
One reason I hate the holidays is my memory of many Christmases past with endless dissimulations and awkward silences. Some of my relatives back home had a "don't ask, don't tell policy," and others...
View ArticleWhy do we still have the H-word?
Every semester I tell my students "The proper terms are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQQA, and queer. The proper terms for same-sex desire or behavior are same-sex, homoerotic,...
View ArticleThe Great Cock of the Darking Wood, and Other Hunks from "The Magicians"
Back in 2015, I watched half of the first episode of The Magicians, now in its fourth season on Netflix. Quentin and his childhood friend Julia are invited to apply to Brakebills University, a secret...
View ArticleFilipino Barbarians and their Teen Sidekicks
The Philippines has a huge comic book industry, dating all the way back to the 1920s. Most are in Tagalog, with some English and Spanish loan words thrown in; a few in the other major languages, such...
View Article60 Movies I Will Never See (Or Saw and Regretted)
There are 6 basic emotions, 1 positive (happiness), 3 negative (sadness, anger, and disgust), and 2 which could be either (surprise, fear) The function of a movie, book, song, or other work of art is...
View Article"Holiday in the Wild": Rob Lowe and Son
All Christmas rom-coms have the same plot:Girl Looking for Love: Hi, I'm visiting your small town. But I have a career in the big city, and therefore am not interested in romance.Hot Guy: No problem....
View Article"Birdy": A Gay Film?
One of my readers is very insistent that I watch Birdy, the 1984 film starring Nicolas Cage and Matthew Modine as Vietnam War-era buddies: "Obvious gay subtext! Barely hidden gay romance!"Two...
View ArticleTristan Strong Punches a Hole in the Sky
Teen Tristan Strong's father and grandfather were famous boxers who want him to follow the family tradition -- he has the physique for it --but he would really rather do nerd things with his best...
View ArticleWho the Heck is Kumail Nanjiani, and Is He Gay?
"Kumail Nanjiana is now ripped as hell, and he is refreshingly honest about it!" my twitter feed exclaims.Three questions:1. Who the heck is Kumail Nanjiani?2. Why is having a nice physique such a big...
View ArticleThe Lord of the Rings: Good Beyond Hope
It's one of the iconic stories of my life, told over and over again until it becomes myth.How, in fifth grade, I stumbled across a copy of The Hobbit in the folklore section of the Denkmann School...
View ArticleI Have Been to "Cats"
On Christmas Day I went to see Cats, the 2019 movie based on stage musical based on some poems by T.S. Eliot. We were the only ones in the theater.The previous movie version was awful. No plot. Some...
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