"Santa Girl": Are You Really Expecting Gay Characters?

I've never understood movies and tv shows that make Santa Claus's toy distribution a business.  He gives away the toys for free, so where's the profit?  Unless...your parents secretly pay him, which is why the rich kids get the most presents, regardless of their naughtiness, and it's all a big lie....









In Santa Girl, the latest in Netflix's 30 days of schlock, The Claus (Barry Bostwick in a fat suit -- probably) is an uber-capitalist Robber Baron, running a global toy empire by exploiting his elf employees (or slaves? you seem to be born into elf serfdom), and forging deals with other titans of industry, like the Tooth Fairy's son, Larry Tooth.

He wants his 18-year old daughter, Cassie (Jennifer Stone of The Wizards of Waverly Place) to marry the son of mafioso weather don Jack Frost in order to combine their empires (is that how business mergers work?), but she has other ideas -- college.

Ok, Santa relents.  One semester at real-life Shenandoah University in Virginia, and then back to her forced marriage.

Wouldn't the Titan of Industry send his daughter to Vassar?

So Cassie and her house slave...um, servant....um, personal assistant head out for college and romance.  She is torn between two potential boyfriends:

1. The wealthy, sophisticated, super-hot JR (Josh Cody, who may be the guy in the top photo or the left, I can't tell.  There are 15 Josh Codys on instagram.  He only has one previous acting credit, a weird movie about a spy who solves crimes in rural Virginia with the help of her "home schooled" friends.)

By the way, JR turns out to be Jack Frost's son, being forced by his father to "keep an eye" on Cassie so she won't fall in love with anyone else before the arranged marriage.  .




2. The quiet, shy, unassuming, poor Sam (Devon Werkheiser, last seen on Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide).  You know who she's going to end up with, right?  Except Sam has a secret -- Jack Frost is also paying HIM to "keep an eye" on Cassie and make sure she doesn't fall in love.

Not even with JR?  Is it essential that you enter an arranged marriage with no feelings for your partner?

By the way, Dad Frost also arranges to dox Cassie with a meme confessing that she is Santa's daughter, resulting in her cancellation (see how adeptly I use contemporary slang?).

Fast forward to the wedding, with Dad Frost salivating over his son's union with Cassie (again, why does he care so much?).  Santa decides to do a good deed for once, and hauls Sam to the North Pole so Cassie can call off the wedding and date him.

Cassie to JR:  "I'm really sorry about this."
JR: "Are you kidding?  Good luck with Sam!"

Gay Characters:  I kept waiting for the gay best friend, but nope. Then I thought JR might be gay -- he swishes a little, and he really doesn't want to marry Cassie. But then, in the final scene, he flirts with an Elf girl.

Beefcake:  Josh Cody's jaw-dropping physique is on full display in a brief indoor pool party scene.

Other Scenery:  A lot of exterior shots of Shenandoah University.  This could be a feature-length advertisement for the college. Maybe it is.

Heterosexism: It's a Christmas rom-com directed by Blayne Weaver of Bossier City, Louisiana, filmed in rural Virginia, starring mostly actors who are attending college in rural Virginia, including Josh Cody, who was planning on a career as a football player, but "God had other plans for me."  What do you think?