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Fall 2008: The Darkroom of the Gay Bar in St. Louis

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St. Louis, Fall 2008

Most gay bars in Europe have darkrooms, cut off from the main bar by a black curtain.  It's completely dark inside, not even a safety light, although some guys walk around flashing the lights on their cell phones.  You feel around until you find something you like.

In the U.S., there are no darkrooms.  State and local laws strictly forbid public sexual encounters.  Even in bathhouses, private clubs with membership fees, you're not allowed to do things in public areas.  

I've seen the equivalent of a darkroom only once in the U.S.

In the fall of 2008, in St. Louis for a conference, I went to the Spike (I don't remember its real name) on Manchester Street, in the gay neighborhood.

Bare brick walls, a small dance floor, a lot of guys in jeans hanging around staring into space, their beer bottles protruding like phalluses.

I noticed a lot of beer bottles by a door in the back, as if people were leaving them on the way to the bathroom, but it wasn't a bathroom.

They would set down their beer bottle, go through, and return a few minutes later.

After awhile, I investigated.

It was a narrow enclosed patio, partially open to the sky, lit only by the stars and a string of multicolored Christmas tree lights.

No heat except for a red-glowing space heater.

A bulletin board, some railings, no place to sit.

There was a row of men standing with their backs against the wall in single file, waiting.

The rest of the post is too explicit for Boomer Beefcake and Bonding.  You can read it on Tales of West Hollywood.



12 Beefcake Boys and Men of "The Fosters"

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The Fosters (2013-) is a groundbreaking drama on ABC Family about a lesbian couple (Stef and Lena) with five children, biological, adopted, and foster (Brandon, Jesus, Jude, Callie, Mariana). Biological parents show up, and the kids have friends and romantic partners, so it gets a little crowded.

Episodes are pretty grim and angst-y.  There are drinking problems, psychological problems, incurable diseases, deaths, battles with bullies and homophobes.  But the remarkably open gay content makes it worth the gloom and doom.

Besides, there are endless teenage boys with their shirts off to draw in the gay boys and straight girls, plus a few shirtless adults thrown in for the adults in the room.

Here are the top 12 Fosters fav raves, plus one honorable mention:





1. David Lambert (left):  Brandon, the oldest son in the family. an aspiring pianist whose dreams are dashed when an injury paralyzes his hand.  He also becomes the victim of statutory rape by hooking up with his father's girlfriend.

2. Danny Nucci: Mike, Brandon's biological father, a cop who has a drinking problem, shot an unarmed suspect, and has a girlfriend who hooks up with Brandon.













3. Tom Williamson: AJ, Mike's foster son.  Where does he find the time to be a foster parent?









4. Jake T. Austin (left): Jesus, the second son, who has Attention-Deficit Disorder.

















5. Brandon Quinn: Gabe, Jesus' biological father, who didn't tell Jesus because he didn't want the boy to know he's a registered sex offender.
















6. Hadyn Byerly: Jude, the youngest son, who becomes mute in angst over coming out as gay (with lesbian parents?), but eventually learns to accept himself and starts dating, with probably the youngest same-sex kiss on television.

7. Gavin McIntosh (top photo): Connor, Jude's boyfriend, who has a homophobic father.

8. Tanner Buchanan (left): Jack, a shy boy with lots of angsty problems who Jude befriends.

More after the break.












9. Chris Bruno: Adam, the homophobic father.




10. Alex Saxon (left): Wyatt, the boyfriend of daughter Callie.  They ran away together, causing angst.








11. Kerr Smith: Robert, Callie's biological father, who wants custody.

12. Jordan Rodrigues: Mat, the boyfriend of daughter Mariana.  He doesn't have any angsty problems so she dumps him.














Honorable mention: Noah Centineo, who took over for  Jesus after Jake T. Austin left.  He looks like he's doing fine.  But wait until he finds out that he will be tearjerking week after week.

See also: Jake T. Austin, Danny Nucci





My Uncle and His Boyfriend in the Kentucky Hills

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Eastern Kentucky, Summer 1973

It's the summer after seventh grade.  We're visiting my Uncle El, the only one of Mom's family to stay behind when the rest of them moved to Indiana.  Dinner is over, and we're telling stories of long-ago times, before I was born, when Mom was a little girl.   Sometimes the adults laugh at jokes I don't understand.

Uncle El's wife tells about the time she rode her bicycle all the way into Salversville to see a boy, but when she got there he was spooning with someone else.  I have no idea what "spooning" means.

An elderly lady I don't know tells about the Witch of Lake-of-the-Woods.

Now it's Uncle El's turn.

"I'm going to tell about my brother, Manus, and his friend Graydon, two boys with the same soul."

I've been dozing off, but now I perk up -- sounds like this will be interesting!



Eastern Kentucky, Fall 1939

Manus and Graydon, the boy from down the holler, were born at the same moment, and some said they shared the same soul.

Oh, on the outside, they was as different as night and day:

Graydon was tall and dark, with thick arms and a tight chest, fond of wrasslin' and huntin' and fishin'.

Manus was short and slim and pale-skinned, a moody boy, always readin', but a good singer, with a clear tenor voice.

They was different down below, too.  You don't have much privacy in the hills, when you sleep three to a bed, and I saw them many times jumping nekkid into the creek, or lying on the soft grass.

Lordy, did that Graydon have a whopper!

"Eliot!  There are children present!" the elderly lady snaps.

"Why, Marcy, surely they know that boys have something down there!"

Yet for all of their differences, Manus and Graydon were never separated, from sunup to sundown, when their parents forced them into different cabins for dinner.  Even then, they sometimes sneaked out to have secret adventures in the darkness.

Life was hard in the hills during the Depression.  Eight people in a four room cabin.

Kerosene lamps for light, a wood-burning stove for heat, and the woods outside for an outhouse.

They raised chickens and grew corn, beans, taters, and maters.  For everything else, they depended on Dad's job at a factory in Hueysville, eight miles away.

Still, they had fun. There were church socials and square dances.  In the evenings the neighbors came around to tell ghost stories and sing songs.  There'd be no dry eye in the house when Manus  sang "Barbara Allen."

Oh mother, mother, make my bed,
Make it long and make it narrow.
Sweet William died for me today,
I'll die for him tomorrow.

"I always hated that song," Mom says.  

In the summer of 1939, Graydon bought and fixed up an old clunker car.  Now they could drive all the way to Salyersville, 20 miles down the pike, to get malteds and go to the movies.

They liked Little Tough Guy, with the Dead End Kids, and Out West with the Hardys, with Mickey Rooney.

In late October of 1939, Graydon and Manus took ill, maybe from going swimming nekkid in the cold Brushy Fork Creek.  

They gave them herb medicine and mustard plasters and poltices, and Manus got better, but Graydon got sicker and sicker, and he died on November 5th, the day of the first snowfall.

His dad and older brother built a pine box to put him in, and they buried him in the graveyard up atop  the hill.

Well, needless to say, Manus was inconsolable.

He cried and cried, and after he stopped crying he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't sleep, he just sat on the bed in the room he shared with me and Edd, staring out the window, up at the hill where Graydon was buried.

Then one night he yelled to the family, "Hey, there's a light up on the hill!"

It was a swaying yellow light, like from a kerosene lamp.  But who would be up there in the middle of the night?  It was pitch dark, with just a narrow trail through the brush and trees.  

"I'm going up!" Manus yelled, pulling on his coat.


But Mom and Dad forbade him.  It was too dangerous. He could wait until morning to investigate.

"No, I gotta go now!  I gotta!" He tried to push past them out the door.  Dad grabbed him by the arms.  He fought.

There was no help for it: they had to lock Manus up in the room, where me and Edd could look over him.

Well, Manus paced and rumbled, and yelled, and cried, and finally sat down in a chair, still staring up at the light on the hill.  Finally Edd and me fell asleep.

The next morning, when we woke up, Manus was gone!

The door was still locked from the outside.  The window hadn't been touched.  There was no way Manus could have gotten out!

Some say one of his sisters let him out, and he went dashing up the hill and fell in a ditch, and got eaten by a bear.

El glances pointedly at my mother.  But she was only three years old at the time.


Some say a neighbor sneaked him out, and drove him to Salyersville, where he bought a bus ticket Out West, like the Hardys.

Some say Graydon came for him.

Whatever happened, no one ever saw Manus again.

But that night, up on the hill, we saw two glowing lights.

The uncensored story, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.


The Top 10 Public Penises of Mexico

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I haven't spent a lot of time in Mexico.  I'm interested in the south, with the Aztec, Mayan, and Olmec archaeological sites, but they're over 2,000 miles away, a bit far for a summer vacation.

But northern Mexico has its attractions: bars, bathhouses, museums, and a lot of public art.

Here are the top 10 public penises of northern Mexico.


1. Guanajuato, part of the homeland of the Otomi Indians, features this statue of the very muscular Pipila, a local folk hero.
















2. Th Centro de las Artes in San Luis Potosi has two semi-nude men wearing Commedia dell'Arte masks mounting balls.


















3. Two men in flight outside an office building in Tampico,


















4. The nude, rather well-endowned Neptune holds court in Monterrey.

5. The Monument to the Founders commemorates the 17 families who decided to stay Mexican when Laredo was ceded to the U.S. in 1848.  So they crossed the river, shirtless, and founded Nuevo Laredo.

More after the break.
















6. There are a lot of statues of naked ladies in Mazatlan, but only a few men, mostly chasing the ladies.  This buffed Indian ballplayer is outside a restaurant.















7.  A boy riding a seahorse, in Puerto Vallarta



















8. The monument to Benito Juarez and the Mono Bichi in Nogales, the biggest statue of a naked man in the world.  "Mono Bichi" means "Naked Guy" in the Yaqui Indian language; the statue's official name is "Monument to Ignorance."

















9. A gnarly pescador (fisherman) in Guaymas.


















10. The monument to the workers of Nuevo Leon.

See also: 10 Public Penises of South America.


















Spring 1994: Lane and I Share Two Guys at Once

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Silverlake, Spring 1994

On Saturday nights when we didn't have other plans, Lane and I often went cruising.  Around 9:30, I dropped him off at the Faultline, and then drove a mile farther east to Basgo's, the Hispanic bar in Silverlake.

At 11:00 or 11:30,  I picked him up again.

Usually one or both of us had met someone, and made a date for later in the week (we would share the bedroom activities at the end, of course).

Once in a while, we couldn't wait: the guy came along, for a late-night snack at the French Quarter (to make it technically a date rather than a hookup), and then home for the bedroom activities.

You're probably wondering what happened when Lane and I both wanted to bring a guy home that night.

In two years of cruising, that only happened once.

The rest of the story is on Tales of West Hollywood

Spring 1984: The Bed-Switching Freshman at the Chocolate Moose

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I was saddened to learn that the Chocolate Moose, a landmark ice cream place on Walnut Street in downtown Bloomington, is going to be demolished to make way for a generic office building.  The distinctiveness of local culture vanishes for faceless uniformity, yet again.

The Chocolate Moose was a quirky little building shaped like a chocolate chalet.  You went to the  window to order soft-serve ice cream, floats, shakes, hot dogs, sloppy joes, that sort of thing.  No indoor dining, but there were a couple of picnic tables.

It was only a block from the apartment Viju and I shared during my second year in graduate school at Indiana University.

It was open until 2:00 am, so we often dropped by after cruising at Bullwinkle's, especially if we struck out (if we were successful, we took our hookups to Bob's Burgers instead).

The later it got, the better the sightseeing -- half-drunk fratboys pushing soft-serve cones into each other's faces, shirtless jocks licking on snow cones until their tongues turned blue.

In spite of the beefcake, there  wasn't a lot of cruising going on.
1.Most of the customers were straight.
2. There weren't a lot of places to hold private conversations.
3. Once you're ready for ice cream, you're probably too emotionally raw to handle a hookup.

But I have a good hookup story involving the Chocolate Moose.

Bloomington, Spring 1984.

Viju and I head out to Bullwinkle's, about five blocks from our apartment.

There's a boy pacing around the entrance, with that deliberate-but-nonchalant look of someone trying to get the nerve to go in.

He's very young, probably just 18 (which would make him five years younger than me), short, slim, pale, not my usual type, but very cute, with black hair, an oval face, very red lips, and a little blush in his cheeks.

We make eye contact.  I start to say something like "It's not so bad inside," but Viju pushes me through the door.

"What's the matter?  Didn't you think he was cute?"

"Oh, yes, definitely worth it!  But I was worried -- he might be an undercover cop.  The minute you say something sexy, bang!  You're finished!"

I wait awhile, but the Freshman never comes in.  Viju and I set out to cruise, but we really don't have our minds on it -- after seeing the super-cute guy at the entrance, everyone seems second-rate.

We cruise for an hour or so, but no one comes to mind.  Finally we leave.

On the way home, we pass the Chocolate Moose.  The line is half a block long.

"Want ice cream?" Viju asks.

"No, I'm not waiting in a line that size!  You go on.  I'll see you at the house."

I leave Viju waiting in line, return to the apartment, and sit down to watch tv and read a book.

A half hour passes.  Then 45 minutes.  How long was that line, anyway?

Did Viju decide to go back to the bar?  Did he get kidnapped?  Should I go out looking?

Then I hear footsteps on the stairs.  Viju comes in -- with the Freshman, still carrying his malt!

"This is Jerry," he says, his arm around the boy.  "He's a freshman, planning to major in economics."


The rest of the story is too risque for Boomer Beefcake and Bonding.  You can read it on Tales of West Hollywood.

Mr. Muscles

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We all know that superhero comics were just an excuse to gawk at bodybuilders  in tight underwear, but the Mr. Muscles title was rather blatant.

It was created for the low-budget Charlton Comics company by none other than Jerry Siegel, co-creator of Superman.  The first issue, in 1956, was numbered #22 (talk about wishful thinking).

Former wrestler Brett Carson, the "world's most perfect man," was a blond Aryan demi-god in white shorts and a lavender vest, perfect not only in body but in soul:  "A healthy physique breeds a healthy mind," he exclaims.












The school system in the 1950s would agree.  Kids were being forced to do push-ups and sit-ups every morning before class, in the belief that exercise bred morality.











The villains had less than ample physiques.  There was rogue wrestler Jake Armbuster, the Abominable Snowman, a zookeeper with a pet tiger, and

And they hated him, not because he worked for the forces of good, but because he was in shape.













Mr. Muscles only lasted for two issues, but he still had time to acquire a teenage sidekick, Kid Muscles, who dressed in a yellow singlet.  All the time.  Presumably at school, certainly while tooling around in his 1950s convertible.










There was also a Miss Muscles, but she ony appeared in one story.

The second and last issue was devoted to a new superhero named Steeplejack.

I guess it got too hard to pretend that Mr. Muscles was there for any other reason than to let kids gawk at his muscles.

See also: Charlton Comics.



Who Killed Cock Robin: The Only Gay Nursery Rhyme

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When I was a kid in the 1960s, I liked science fiction, like The Wonderful Flight to the Mushroom Planet and The Spaceship Under the Apple Tree, but I hated fairy tales, and I especially hated nursery rhymes.

Most of them made no sense: who would bake  blackbirds into a pie?  Who keeps a lamb as a pet?  And what the heck is a tuffet?


Those that made sense (sort of) were entirely heterosexist.  Jack and Jill go walking up that hill hand-in-hand.  Jack Sprat and his wife have the disgusting habit of licking dinner plates. Some kid named Georgie likes to kiss girls.

The only one I could stand was "Who Killed Cock Robin?", which like most nursery rhymes, was intended to teach Medieval children about death.  It's not actually a mystery -- a Sparrow confesses to the murder in the first line -- and the rest of the poem involves various birds offering to sew his shroud, dig the grave, build the coffin, and so on.




What I liked about it:

1. I didn't learn the British meaning of the word "cock" (a male bird) until much later, so it was amazing to hear about a bird named after a penis.

2. I could even get away with asking my Dad to "read me the nursery rhyme about the cock."


3. The illustration in my nursery rhyme book showed a muscular male killer, not a sparrow.

4. One of my first "British Invasion" tv programs was the episode "Who Killed Cock Robin?" on Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased), about a pair of swinging detective buddies (Mike Pratt, Kenneth Cope), one a ghost.







5. An episode of Matinee at the Bijou in the 1970s featured a murder mystery entitled Who Killed Cock Robin (1938).  It starred the handsome Charles Farrell, who would go on to play the dad in My Little Margiein the 1950s.  I didn't know it at the time, of course, but Farrell was: a former nude physique model; and rumored to be gay.

6. The nursery rhyme is reputedly about William II, the King of England, who was gay.  He was shot with an arrow by Walter Tyrell, probably his lover, while hunting in the New Forest on August 2, 1100.  In The Golden Bough,  Sir James Frazier argues that his death was no accident, but a sacrifice to the Old Gods in a remnant of an ancient fertility rite.

See also: The Joy of Saying "Cock"


Frank O'Hara: Gay Poet and Lover of the 1950s

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When you think of gay artists of the 20th century, the Beat Generation of the 1950s and the Violet Quill of the 1980s spring to mind.

But in between there was the New York School, a group  mostly gay, ultra-elite Harvard graduates based in New York in the late 1950s and 1960s:

Poets John Ashbery, John Schuyler,  Tom Savage, and Frank O'Hara.

Composer John Cage

Dancers Robert Dunn, Martha Graham, and David Gordon.

Artists Larry Rivers, Ernest Briggs, Albert Kotin, and William Scharf

Not as renegade as the Beats, not as openly gay as the Violet Quill, they occupied a middle ground, producing avant-garde, surreal but decidedly mainstream works, with the gay content visible to those in the know.

Frank O'Hara (1926-1966) was probably the most visible of the group -- literally.  He was photographed and painted nude several times during his life.

His poetry was personal, confessional, with gay friends and lovers mentioned obliquely:




Favorites: going to parties with you, being in corners at parties with you,
being in gloomy pubs with you smiling, poking you at parties when
you're "down," coming on like South Pacific with you at them
shrimping with you into the Russian dressing, leaving parties with
you alone to go and eat a piece of cloud.

According to his friend and former lover Joe Lesueur, he was determined to get with as many people as he could: "big guys, little guys, macho straight men, flagrantly gay men, rough trade, gay trade, friends, friends of friends, offspring of his friends, blonds, blacks, Jews, and—women."

Among his many lovers were Larry Rivers Vincent Warren (1938-), the renowned dancer Les Grands Ballets Canadiens de Montréal.


On July 24, 1966, O'Hara was struck by a car on the beach at Fire Island.  He died a few hours later, leaving an army of stunned friends, lovers, and fans.















See also: The Violet Quill









Carl Milles: The Swedish Sculptor of Naked Men

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Carl Milles (1875-1955) is the greatest sculptor of Sweden.  Although he claimed to be heterosexual, his sculptures are imbued with homoerotic motifs.

 Many of the most homoerotic are collected or reproduced in the Millesgården, an art gallery and sculpture garden in Stockholm.

1. The Sunsinger, 1926, dedicated to the poem "Song of the Sun," by Esaias Tegnér, a 19th century bishop, translator, and founder of the Gothic League, for young patriotic men. The original lacks a head and arms.  You're not supposed to be looking at the head.





2. The Little Triton (left), half very muscular man, half fish, 1916.

3.William Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, being guided by a very buffed angel, 1948.

4. Vingarne (The Wings), aka Boy with Eagle, 1908.  An interpretation of the story of Ganymede: remember that Zeus fell in love with him, and transformed into an eagle to seduce him properly, later bringing him to Olympus as his..um...cupbearer.  The first gay-themed film in Sweden was named Vingarne after this statue.

5. The Spirit of Transportation, 1952, an Indian carrying a canoe.











6. Aganippe Fountain (left), 1955, a girl being inspired by the Muses, who are all naked men.

7. The Astronomer, 1940, a naked man looking at the stars, 1940.

8. Europa and the Bull, 1942.  This time Zeus appears as a bull to seduce a woman, but in the fountain, they're surrounded by muscular naked tritons (sea gods).










9. Genius, 1923 (left): A naked muscleman playing a lyre and looking at his own butt.

10. Poseidon, 1930: another naked man, carrying a fish and a seashell, while tritons squirt water at him.

11. Skating Angels, 1948: naked boy angels.












12. God Our Father on the Rainbow, 1949.  God is quite buffed as he puts the stars in place from the end of a long bridge.

13. The Hand of God, 1953, a naked man balanced on a hand.

14. Angel Musicians, 1949-50: naked male angels playing lyres.

15. Man and Pegasus, 1949: a naked man flying alongside the flying horse.

See also: The Top 12 Public Penises of Finland


12 Spring Break Boys

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I've been on college campuses, as a student or a teacher, almost every year of my life, so spring break is always a big deal.

A week off in March or early April, actually ten days if you skip the Friday befor (which everyone does), when plane flights are still cheap.and tourist destinations uncrowded!

Here are 12 memorable spring breaks, crowded with sightseeing and cruising.

1979: Chicago.  It was my freshman year of college.  Growing up in Rock Island, I'd been to Chicago many times, of course, but this time I had a goal: my friend Mary asked me to determine if her kid brother was gay.   After spending the night with him, I reported to Mary that he was absolutely straight -- wink wink, nudge nudge.

1981: Iceland.  I joined the Scandinavian Club just so I could go on their annual field trip to a Scandinavian country. During my junior year, it was Iceland.  I wasn't out, so no bars, bathhouses, or street cruising, but a lot of looking at Nordic men, including a naked Nordic god



1985: New Orleans.  During my terrible year in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas, I jumped at any opportunity to escape.  The minute my last class ended, I got into my car and drove the 6 hours to New Orleans.  And I didn't get back until about an hour before my first class began on the Monday after.  It wasn't Mardi Gras, so guys weren't flashing their equipment to the crowd, but I still saw my fair share of penises.

1988: Pattaya, Thailand.  When I was living in West Hollywood, my friend Alan moved to Thailand to start a gay Pentecostal church.  He was sidetracked into an ex-gay cult, so I flew over to rescue him with a trip to Pattaya, the gay party capital of Southeast Asia.



1993: Las Vegas.  My first and only trip to Las Vegas, where heterosexual men in suits came to drink, gamble, and hook up with chorus girls.  Or with gay men.

1995: Washington, DC. To visit Alan and his partner Sandy, and put on a live sex show for him.

1998: San Francisco.  I was in New York, getting my Ph.D.  Yuri the Russian meteorology major had just come out, and wanted to see the heart of the heart of the gay world.  So we flew to San Francisco, stayed with my friend David, and went cruising on Castro Street. Sharing, a bear party, underwear night, a hookup, and a drive down Lombard Street.


2000: West Hollywood.  Home for a decade, but it was nice to be back for a visit.  And I hooked up with a celebrity.

2002: Paris-Brussels-Amsterdam. The first time I made the circuit.  Five days in Paris for the Musee d'Orsay, Luxembourg Gardens, Shakespeare and Company, and bar darkrooms, overnight in Brussels, and three nights in Amsterdam for Indonesian food, the Rikjsmuseum, and the Horseman's Club, for men with 23 cm (8 inches) or more.  It would become an annual ritual.

2005: Another Paris-Brussels-Amsterdam circuit, when I met the Dutch African at the Horseman's Club, and he brought me home as a "birthday present" for his brother.




2010: Montreal.  In Upstate New York.  My boyfriend Troy and I had both been here before, most recently in October 2009, when he experienced his first glory hole. But this time we had friends to visit.

2016: Mexico City.  I speak Spanish and I've studied Mesoamerican archaeology for years, but I've never been to Mexico except for some short jaunts to Tijuana. What better way to spend spring break than to fly down to Mexico City to visit the Museo Nacional de Arquelogia?

Oh, and there were some hot guys, too.

The full post, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood

Inclusivity Alert: Gay References on "The Middle"!

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In a jaw-dropping development, The Middle,  the most aggressively heterosexist tv program since Fringe, featured not one but two gay references in Wednesday night's episode.

In case you haven't noticed, the long-running series is about a dysfunctional working-class family in "The Middle," a small town in Indiana: dour dad Mike, perpetually-frazzled mom Frankie, college-aged Axl, over-exuberant high schooler Sue, and weird junior high schooler Brick.

In six seasons, there have been no references to gay people or same-sex desire or relationships, not one, except for an running gag about the swishy stereotype Brad, who doesn't realize that he's gay -- no one does except Mike and Frankie.

Wednesday night's episode, "Flirting with Disaster," had three plotlines.

1. Sue and Brick go to a science fiction convention.  No gay content, but you do get to see the muscular Michael Foster, who has variously played Conan, a bouncer, a Muscle-Bound Writer, and a Gay Protester.

2. Mike's father-in-law Tag asks for help with his upcoming driver's test.

Mike: "When you see someone carrying a white cane, what does it mean?"
Tag:    "That he's gay."
(Mike glares at him.)
Tag:    "What? What do they want to be called now?"
Mike:  "No, it means that he's blind!"
Tag:    "Blind and gay?  That's going to be tough!"

Ok, not bad. The elderly Tag comes across as slightly homophobic, but Mike doesn't.

3. Axl (Charlie McDermott, top photo), who I haven't been following much since he stopped hanging around in his underwear, comes home from college with a hot friend we've never heard of before, Finn (Matthew Atkinson, left).

Frankie flirts with Finn.  He responds.  She relishes her ability to still attract Cute Young Things, but then Axl tells her that Finn is "granny bait": He often uses his attractiveness to get special favors from elderly women.

Ok, it's not what you're thinking -- Axl means extra helpings of tater tots from the lunch lady.

Horrified at being labeled a "granny," Frankie decides that she'll go back to flirting with the elderly security guard at the bank: "At least she thinks I'm hot."

A throwaway line playing on our sexist presumption that security guards are always male.  But it also reveals that there are indeed gay people in Orson, Indiana, that Frankie is aware of them, and that she is completely comfortable being the object of same-sex desire.

None of the kids were around during either of the scenes; they remain unaware of the existence of gay people.  But two references in a single episode of a series that has thus far being utterly silent?  Cause for celebration.

See also: Brock Ciarlelli, the Uncle Tom of The Middle; Axl in Underwear: The Middle.




The Crosby Kids

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Bing Crosby (1903-1977), roommate of gay jazz legend Bix Beiderbecke, grew up to be the laid-back crooner that had 1940s teenyboppers swooning, starred in White Christmasand had six sons. Growing up as celebrity kids took its toll on them, as did Bing's harsh, authoritarian parenting style, and his insistence that they follow in his footsteps.  None of them became famous, but they had some success in the early 1960s performing as the Crosby Boys, and some of them were familiar to the Boomer generation as actors.

1. Gary (1933-1995), left, starred in some lightweight romantic comedies, such as Mardi Gras (1958) and Two Tickets to Paris (1962), and guest starred on many tv series.  In middle age he played authority figures on Adam-12 and Emergency.

2. Davis (1934-1991) acted only occasionally, notably with his brothers and the Rat Pack gang in Sergeants Three (1962).



3. Philip (1934-2004), Davis's twin brother, had two buddy bonding roles, in Robin and the Seven Hoods (1964)  and None But the Brave (1965).  Coincidentally, he buddied with Rat Packer Frank Sinatra in both.



4. Lindsay (1938-1989) starred in several outlaw-biker movies, including The Glory Stompers (1967) and Bigfoot (1970).

5. Harry (born 1958), left, was best known to the Boomer Generation, playing Bill, the camp counselor who plays strip Monopoly and gets slashed in Friday the 13th (1980). He had small roles in several other movies. Today he is an investment banker.



6. Nathaniel (born 1961) (left, hugging Harry) stayed out of acting, and coincidentally the only one who has any gay rumors.  He's a professional golfer.

Spring 1991: The Naked Nordic God of the Icelandic Hot Springs

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Iceland, Spring 1981

During my junior year at Augustana College, I declared a major in Modern Languages.  We had to become fluent in two languages and competent in a third, plus participate in one language club.

My languages were Spanish, French, and German, but their clubs were kind of boring, with bake sales, foreign-language films, and field trips to the Goethe Institut or the Alliance Française in Chicago.

Everybody joined the Scandinavian Club -- they had an endowment from a wealthy alumnus, and paid most of the way for members to go on annual field trips to Scandinavia!

A different country every year, alternating between Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and Iceland.

In my junior year, it was Iceland.

I would have preferred Norway, but I wasn't about to turn down ten days in the land of the Old Norse sagas and Nordic hunks for $300  ($1000 today).


There were 22 of us, 10 boys and 12 girls, plus two chaperones.

The full post, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

John Hamill: The First Nude Physique Model

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Born in 1947, the boyish, good-natured John Hamill began his career as a physique model, one of the first to pose fully nude.  Sometimes he even had a partner, in explicitly homoerotic scenes aimed at the increasingly visible gay male audience.  He also appeared in both gay and heterosexual "blue movies."

But he aspired to become a serious actor, so he studied at the Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Arts and began appearing on stage, notably in the gay-themed Boys in the Band in 1969 (presumably as the hustler hired to become a "birthday present").



His film career began in 1970, with starring roles in the thrillers The Beast in the Cellar (not as the beast), Trog (not as the rampaging caveman), and No Blade of Grass.  He also had some guest spots on tv series such as Paul Temple, The Befrienders, and Crossroads.  










But, like many bodybuilders, especially those with a "gay reputation," John found himself stuck in minor roles as threatening bad guys or inarticulate hunks.  In Tower of Evil (1972), for example, his character is introduced, takes off his clothes, flexes his muscles and gets killed, all in about thirty seconds.




Anxious for work, he agreed to star in the sex comedy Girls Come First (1975), as an artist asked to paint nude models.  Released in both hardcore and softcore versions, it was popular enough to lead to two sequels, and parts in similar movies, like Hardcore (1977).

But nothing else.  After a two-parter onSpace: 1999in 1978, he retired from acting and became a furniture refinisher.










Being so open about sex, and so nonchalant about both male and female partners, limited John's career, but left him -- and his fans -- with many fond memories.

You can see the nude photos on Tales of West Hollywood.


Hank Williams: A Dynasty of Homophobia

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Hank Williams (1923-1953) was an Alabama boy who suffered from poverty, heartbreak, physical injury, alcoholism, all of the woes that fuel the ballads, meanwhile writing mournful songs that formed the genre.  Some are recognizable even to people who hate country-western music:

"Lovesick Blues"
"Why Don't You Love Me Anymore"
"Lonesome Whistle"
"Hey, Goodlookin'"
"Honky-Tonk Blues"
"I'll Never Get Out of this World Alive"







He was a lifelong Republican who proclaimed it an "honor" to support President Eisenhower.  We don't know about his attitude toward gay people, but one can probably assume that he didn't cotton to them much.

Here's a photo that seems to show him nude.

He died of a heart attack on January 1, 1953, at the age of 29, leaving a son.












Hank Williams Jr. (born 1949) began his career by covering his dad's songs, but soon struck out on his own, blending country with blues and rock.  More experimental, he has not had quite the impact of Hank Sr., but he has won some accolades for songs like:

"Born to Boogie"
"My Name is Bocephus"
"Ain't Misbehavin'"
"All My Rowdy Friends are Coming Over Tonight"

A lifelong Republican, his extremist views have caused controversy.  He has called President Obama "the Enemy," compared him to Hitler, and claimed that he's "a Muslim who hates America and loves gays."

Naturally he hates "queer guitar pickers," proclaiming homophobia as an American tradition.



Hank Williams III (born 1972) does country-western, capitalizing on his uncanny resemblance to his grandfather, but he is primarily interested in punk and heavy metal.  He is principal vocalist for the punk band Assjack, and he has also performed with the punk-metal groups Arson Anthem and Superjoint Ritual.

His albums have won some acclaim, too:
Straight to Hell
Thrown Out of the Bar
Rebel Within

As crazy...um, I mean conservative...as his dad, he disapproves of liberal actor Tom Hiddleston (top photo) playing the original Hank Williams in a biopic, and includes the line that he "don't want no faggot looking at him" in his anthem "Dick in Dixie."

Well, here he is.  Take a look.


But at least his sister Holly, Hank Jr's daughter, is a gay ally who loves her lesbian following.

 "Growing up, my best friend was gay," she tells Nashville Pride.  "He was invited to all of my slumber parties."

Hear that, Hanks?  There was one of them in your house!

The uncensored photo of Hank Sr. is on Tales of West Hollywood.

February 2005: Hooking Up on a Job Interview

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Xenia, Ohio, February 2005

I've been on the academic job market four times, after getting my Ph.D. (2001), when trying to leave Florida (2005), and at the end of my temporary positions in Dayton (2008) and Philadelphia (2013).  About 10 interviews each time, 50 in all.

So I know all the routines.

1. I will be asked about the last game of whatever sports team is popular in my area.

2. I will be told about the hotness of local girls.

3. I will usually be assumed heterosexual, in spite of my resume-full of gay-themed research, although some people will wonder, and ask sneaky questions in an attempt to find out.

4. Others will conclude that I am gay, and hide in their offices when I'm around, lest they be forced to shake hands with a queer.

5. Sometimes they have just invited me to interview so they can congratulate themselves on how liberal they are; I have no chance at an offer.

Those interviews can actually be pleasant: since I have no chance, I can relax, not be "on" all the time, pay more attention to my surroundings.  And it's fun seeing them stumble around the gay issue.

In the spring of 2005, when I was invited to Wilberforce University, near Xenia, Ohio, it was obvious even before I arrived that I had no chance of a offer.  It's a historically black college. 500 students, 98% black.   And affiliated with the homophobic African Methodist Episcopal Church.  No gay student organizations.

No way they're hiring a gay white guy.

So I relaxed, played it cool, and settled in for my free trip.


The full story, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.


Bob Hoffman, York Barbells, and Muscletown U.S.A.

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If you're going to do any serious muscle building, sooner or later you'll have to leave behind the Nautilus machines, go into the weight room, and pick up a barbell or a dumbbell.

Barbells are on a bar, so you use both arms at once.

Dumbbells are separate, one for each arm (called "dumb bells" because they're silent).



Athletes have been lifting weights to gain strength and muscle mass since ancient times, but the classic modern barbell, with round weights attached to either side of an iron bar, appeared in 1902, when physical culture pioneer Alvin Calvert founded the Milo Barbell Company in Philadelphia.  At first he sold globe-shaped barbells that had weight increments 2 1/2 pounds, but customers complained that it was too difficult to take apart the apparatus to increase the weight.  By 1910, he was also selling plate-loaded barbells that could be adjusted easily with a twist of a bearing.


In 1935, Bob Hoffman bought the Milo Barbell Company from Calvert, renamed it the York Barbell Company, and set about publicizing the benefits of weight-lifting.  He sponsored thousands of bodybuilding competitions, published dozens of books and magazines, and made sure York Barbells could be found in nearly every gym in the world.


The problem with the barbells was, they didn't wear out.  Once you bought a set, you were fixed for life.  So in order to stay solvent, an ever-increasing customer base was necessary.  During the 1980s, as weight training machines became popular, that customer base started to diminish.  Bob Hoffman's death in 1985 almost brought about the company's demise.



Today York Barbell is marketing itself to general consumers, young people interested in a healthy lifestyle, not just power-lifters.

Still, every bodybuilding enthusiast has made a pilgrimage to York, Pennsylvania, where a giant image of a bodybuilder revolves atop the company headquarters.  Inside, the Weightlifting Hall of Fame has some interesting artifacts and exhibits.






While you're in town, check out the York Murals, murals of important local events and celebrities that adorn local buildings.  Bob Hoffman's Muscletown U.S.A. is at 37 West Philadelphia Street.








Cameron Boyce: Gay Ally?

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You probably remember 17-year old Cameron Boyce from Jesse (2011-2015), the most heterosexist/ obnoxious teencom on the Disney Channel.  He played Luke Ross, the privileged rich kid who somehow found himself orphaned and adopted by an even more privileged, rich family.  Luke is n aggressively girl-crazy heterosexual who keeps making leering sexual advances at every woman in sight.  Not my favorite teencom.

For some reason audiences liked him  -- maybe it was his abs -- and Cameron started appearing everywhere, as Luke on The Ultimate Spiderman and Austin and Ally, as someone else on Shake It Up and Liv and Maddie, as himself on The Hollywood Christmas Parade, Teens Want to Know, Disney 365, Win Lose or Draw, and Piper's Picks ("Cameron Tells What He Looks for in a Girl").





Jesse ended in 2015, but Disney's love for Cameron continued.

Fortunately, his obnoxious heterosexism did not.

In Descendants, the movie and animated series about the children of Disney movie heroes attending high school together, he plays Carlos DeVill.

Son of Cruella DeVill, the elderly fashion enthusiast who wanted to make a jacket out of 101 Dalmatians (1961).  I would have sworn she was past menopause.  Maybe he's adopted.

He doesn't have a lot of heterosexual interests, but he does buddy-bond with Jay (BooBoo Stewart), son of Jafar from Aladdin.  

Good choice.



In 2015, Disney gave him a star vehicle, Gamer's Guide to Pretty Much Everything, the second type of Disney plotline (someone famous tries to be normal).  Here he's Conor, a famous video gamer (I guess there are such things) who is forced to retire and go to a normal high school, where he envisions normal activities as video games.

He hangs out with video game-playing friends, two male nerds, one girl, but doesn't seem to have much interest in girls (it was on Disney XD, the "guy's channel").





Most recently, he's had an episode of Code Black, the medical show, playing Brody, who was abused at a camp for troubled teens.

I can't find out if Cameron is gay or gay-friendly in real life. When I do a google search with a keyword "gay," I hit too many gay fan fictions.




Spring 1987: My Celebrity Boyfriend

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When I moved to West Hollywood in 1985, I found that half of the residents were aspiring actors, directors, writers, models, dancers, or singers.  Most of my friends and acquaintances had been in something, and some had been in several things.

But I only dated one "real" celebrity, someone whose name you would probably recognize.

He's not Michael J. Fox, Rob Lowe, Robin Williams, Neil Diamond, David Cassidy, Cesar Romero, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Jimmie Walker, Ron Glass, Philip McKeon,  Lou Ferrigno, or Richard Dreyfuss (although I did go on a "date" with Richard later).   I'll call him Steve.

No real names because he's closeted, and  I don't want to get sued -- how crazy is it that in 2013, you can be sued for slander for "accusing" someone of being gay.  But I can tell you that he's a couple of years older than me, tall and slim, with dark hair and dark eyes.  He was most famous at the time for an adventure tv series which I watched at Indiana University in the early 1980s, but since then he's starred in a cop show and appeared in some soap operas. Shouldn't be hard to figure out.

The rest of the story, with uncensored pictures, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

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