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My Date with Two Brothers... and Their Dad
During my horrible year at Hell-fer-Sartain State University in a far north suburb of Houston, the worst place in the world, I tried to find a boyfriend by placing a personal ad in The Montrose...
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Dean Stockwell: Gay Subtexts and Homophobic Texts
In a career spanning 65 years, Dean Stockwell has played everything, from cute kid to elderly statesman, including many projects with homoromances and/or homophobia.As a boy:1. The Boy with Green Hair...
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Porgy and Bess: Black Beefcake Folk Opera
I never saw "the American folk opera"Porgy and Bess (1935) before my celebrity boyfriend took me in the spring of 1987, though we played some of the songs in orchestra in high school. They're fun,...
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The Promised Land of Gigantic Penises
Rock Island, July 1991Lane and I are back in Rock Island for a week, visiting my family and old friends, going to my old haunts.On Saturay night, we go to JR's, Rock Island's only gay bar, and meet a...
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Burn After Reading; Or Better Still, Burn Before Viewing
Three days after watching the execrable O Brother, Where Art Thou, the song "I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow" is still in my head. My friend suggests that we add to my woes with Burn After Reading."I...
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The Top 12 Hunks of "Star Wars"
Star Wars, the science fiction franchise about political machinations and mystic knights in "a galaxy far, far away," began as a one-shot movie in 1977. It has since blossomed into seven movies (with...
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The Shy Guy at the Gym with the Supersized Penis
Plains, November 2016At the YMCA the other night, when I was stripping down after my workout, the guy at the locker next to mine found an excuse to play around on his cell phone instead of taking off...
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Kurt Russell's Secret
We usually went to church on Sunday nights, but for some reason I was home one night in November 1968 to see the last half of the best movie ever made, The Secret of Boyne Castle, on the anthology...
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Top Coming Out Stories: Louie the Lilac to "Getting Some Cocks"
During the 1980s and 1990s, every time you met a new person, you exchanged coming out stories.It doesn't happen anymore. No one offers, and if you ask, the under-30 crowd says "What? Oh, I've always...
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15 Reasons to Skip Christmas
I'm not a big fan of Christmas. I dread seeing the first Christmas ads of the year, in August or September. The decorations going up in stores in October. And the day after Thanksgiving, when the...
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The World According to Mork
The second celebrity I met after I moved to L.A. in 1985 was Robin Williams, at a party in the Hollywood Hills. He wasn't nearly as nice as Michael J. Fox. I did manage to land his date, though.I...
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A Ginger Boy for Christmas
Wednesday, December 24, 1986:I'm 26 years old. living in West Hollywood, but back in Rock Island for the holidays, staying in my old room. At 6:00 pm my brother and his family and my sister's...
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Amazing Man
Amazing Man was published by Centaur Comics, one of the many comic book companies that sprang up during World War II to capitalize on the popularity of Superman. 26 issues appeared from 1939 to...
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My Date with Robin Williams and His Mega-Hunk Boyfriend
West Hollywood, September 1985When I first moved to West Hollywod, I expected to see (and meet, and date) celebrities all the time. But during my first two months, I saw only four., and only met (and...
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The Nutcracker: Men in Tights
When I was a kid, our church forbade movies, theater, carnivals, circuses -- basically anything that had a plot. And my working-class parents disapproved of anything "long hair." So ballet and opera...
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Slapsie Maxie and Mad Max: Boxers with a Hint of Lavender
I've heard the phrase Slapsie Maxie many times, usually applied in derision to a guy who fights with open-hand slaps rather than closed-fist punches. It's supposed to suggest that you're a sissy,...
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Nutcracker Ballet Beefcake and Bulges
Heterosexist plotline aside, every year The Nutcracker gives us the opportunity to see traditional, family-friendly, school-sanctioned, Christmastime ballet written by a gay man.And loaded to the brim...
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The Gay Painting in my Grandmother's Room
Indiana, December 1969The cold, snowy day after Christmas. Cousin Buster and I have already played with our toys, and we're tired of sitting around the living room of Grandpa Prater's farmhouse,...
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Sausage Sighting of My Parents' Contractor
Rock Island, July 1989MondayMy sister has gotten married and moved out, the last of the kids to do so, and my parents are taking advantage of the newly-empty house by remodeling. Her bedroom will...
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Beetle Bailey's Boyfriend
In 1950 Mort Walker started the newspaper comic strip Beetle Bailey, about a lazy, inept student at Rockview University. The large cast of characters included students, faculty, and Beetle's...
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