I'm definitely going to a place called Muscle Shoals. I don't know what a shoal is -- some kind of beach? -- but the town must be full of bodybuilders flexing in speedos.
Turns out that Muscle Shoals is nowhere near any ocean: it's in far northwestern Alabama, on the Tennessee River.
And it has nothing to do with muscles. A "shoal" is a shallow area in a river where you can wade in and gather "mussels," or shellfish.
Previously "mussel" was spelled "muscle": both come from the Latin word musculus, meaning "little mouse," because, I guess, both bulging biceps and invertibrate shellfish look like mice. I don't see it.
This has all been very disappointing, but no doubt other people make the same mistake about "Muscle Shoals," and come for the beefcake.
Muscle Shoals is primarily famous for for two music studios. FAME produced such stars as Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin, while Muscle Shoals studio worked with Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, and the Rolling Stones. But there are also 9 gyms in town.
Unfortunately, the only bodybuilder from Muscle Shoals who I could find online was Dan Puckett, a 22-year old bodybuilding champ studying at the University of Alabama, found dead by his roommate in 2007.
Bummer.
Well, there are three high schools in town:
1. Muscle Shoals has an amateur bodybuilder.
2. Deshler has a wrestling team. Sorry I couldn't find a bigger photo.
3. Sheffield doesn't have a lot, but just across the river in Florence, the University of Northern Alabama has some dedicated bodybuilders.
And a bicep-bulging daddy coaching Strength and Conditioning.
I have a rule: never date a guy whose biceps are bigger than his head. But in this case, I'll make an exception.
