Is There Beefcake at Weeki Wachee?

I can't help it, I'm fascinated by Weeki Wachee.  It's burned into my brain as the biggest, tackiest, most horrifyingly lowbrow of all the roadside dreck that ever got memorialized on a postcard. 

What moron would thing they were actually going to see real mermaids? 

And what moron would pay good money to see ladies with fake tales frolicking in the surf?

And who would actually have the nerve to announce that they were going to Weeki Wachee?  Sounds like baby talk for a bodily function.

So I did some research, hoping that it wasn't as tacky as the legend would have us believe.

Or quite so heterosexist.

And hoping that there was at least a teensy bit of beefcake available to keep me from running for the nearest exit.

1. Where did such an odd name come from? Seminole for "Little Spring."  The promotional materials say.  I looked it up: Seminole for "Little Spring" is chokwa wekiwa..

2. Who thinks that the mermaids are real?  No one, actually.  The show is descended from the "bathing beauty" shows of the 1930s, where the only way a hetero man could see a lady half-naked was in the water.

So, an entrepreneur named Newton Perry thought, why not completely submerged?  He scouted the countryside for "pretty girls" who could hold their breath for a long time, and could learn swimming, dancing, eating, and drinking underwater.  It was half sideshow, half strip show.

Today there are thousands of applicants each year for the few mermaid jobs.  All mermaids musttake swimming, scuba, and CPR training.  They now breathe through air hoses. 

3. Are there any mermen?

No.  Apparently there were in the past, as this photo indicates, but not today.  It's all pulchritude all the time.



4. Who goes to the shows?  250,000 spectators per year. Other attractions have sprung up around the mermaid show, so those of us who are not inclined toward pulchritude can go swimming, fishing, snorkeling, or alligator-wrangling.

5. Is there an actual town named Weekie Wachee?  The incorporated town of "Weekie Wachee" has 12 residents, 4 humans and 8 mermaids.  Of course, most people who work for the park live elsewhere, in North Weekie Wachee (population 8,000), Weekie Wachee Gardens (population 1,100), or Spring Hill (population 4,000)




6. How sexist is the the show?  The mermaids sing "we don't have to clean an oven," like land-dwelling women.

They are rescued by two Princes, James and Greg (seen here in training), who don't disrobe.







7. How sexist are the other activities?

They have a Junior Mermaid Camp, open to 8 "children" every weekend.  It specifically states "child" each time, rather than "girl."  I don't know if there are any boy junior mermaids.

Sirens of the Deep Mermaid Camp is for adults aged 30 and up.  It states that "men are allowed only with other participants' consent."

There are also Junior Lifeguard and Junior Ranger Camps, open to all kids.


8. Does such a campy attraction draws lots of gay visitors?

Apparently, but there have also been reports of homophobic statements by visitors and staff.

9. Is there any beefcake to balance the pulchritude?

Not in the show.  Maybe in the audience.


10. Is that cute alligator wrangler from #4 available Saturday night?