"U Are Gay!"

Most comments on this blog consist of:
1. You said he played a gay character for the first time in 1993, but actually he played a character that was probably gay in an off-Broadway play in December 1992.

2. How dare you say that this actor is gay! That's a big, fat lie!  I know because he is my boyfriend, and we're in love and we hug and kiss all the time, and we're going to get married as soon as I'm old enough!

But the other day someone wrote this comment:
"U Are Gay!"

Twelve times.

Once it was "U Are Gay Gay Gay!!!!"

Um....ya think so?


This blog describes my coming out process in detail, plus about 100 of my boyfriends, dates, and hookup, and the gay content of about 1000 books, movies, tv shows, comic books, songs, paintings, and advertisements.

 It should be obvious, right?










But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that heterosexuals will do anything to avoid figuring it out.

Plaster your room with pictures of naked men.  They'll say "Fitness enthusiast, huh?"

Write 55 articles and 3 books on LGBT history.  They'll say "With all of your research into gay people, does anyone ever mistake you for gay?"

Tell them "I've been out since I was 17, 40 years ago.  In that time I've had 10 boyfriends and gone on about 2000 dates, and had gay sex about 14,000 times.   I have never had sex with a woman, although I did kiss a girl once when I was 15."

They'll say "Aha!  You kissed a girl!  You're straight!'

And after an extraordinary amount of time and effort, you finally get them to admit that you are, in fact, gay, they will constantly forget, and ask you about your attraction for this or that actress and whether or not you have a girlfriend.

And God forbid you ever mention a woman, briefly, in passing, for the most mercenary of reasons: "I'm going to ask the waitress to bring more coffee."

They will consider it proof positive that you are actually straight.  "Aha!  I knew you weren't immune!  You like her, don't you?  You're not really gay at all!"






But maybe the anonymous poster really didn't know, and just now, after reading hundreds of posts, figured it out.  Did he think I didn't know, and he was doing me a service by giving me a term to use to identify over 50 years of desires, actions, and relationships?

Or did he think I knew, but didn't like it, that I was overcome with sadness, guilt, and pain over being gay, so he was trying to rub salt in the wound?

Lots of heterosexuals think that we are constantly sad, constantly depressed over missing out on their wondrous hetero-romance, that we're all moping around every moment that we're not having risky sex.


Or was he trying to express his own disapproval: "You are gay, therefore incomplete, broken, deviant, wrong, worse than me?"

It's rather depressing that people still use "U are gay" as an insult.