The Wednesday after my return from Amsterdam, I'm at the oral surgeon's office, waiting to get a wisdom tooth removed.
It's a more delicate procedure than you might think.
No solid food or exercise for the next 48 hours.
On the third day, I can try jogging and eating normally, but nothing with granules (rice, potato chips) for a couple of weeks.
Antibiotics and two pain medications, one narcotic.
No "sucking" for at least a week. The oral surgeon probably means through a straw, but I imagine no oral, either.
While I am sitting in the waiting room, a woman comes in with her two sons. I can't tell which is older.
Brother #1 is not exactly a supreme beauty, but he's very, very cute: shorter than me, slim, with a round open face, short black hair, prominent eyebrows, high cheekbones, dimples, and square workman's hands.
He's wearing a black t-shirt, short pants (no bulge), and sandals.
He sits on the side of his mother farthest from me, immersed in nonstop texting.
Brother #2 is tall, with a square face, sharp features, glasses, and a slim physique. He's wearing a button-down shirt with a white undershirt visible underneath, slacks (no visible bulge), and orange shoes.
He gives me an obvious face-crotch-face cruising gaze, then sits down to fill out a form.
Remembering when I have been cruised at doctor's offices before -- at the sports doctor, while waiting for a colonoscopy -- I wonder if I can follow through and land a date or a hookup.
Problem: he's with his mother and brother. Not much maneuvering room.
Another problem: I'll be called any minute.
I check Grindr on my cell phone, on the off chance he's there. Nope.
Brother #2 finishes the form and drops it off at the receptionist's desk. I go up to pretend to ask where the bathroom is, and try to check his name.
All I can see in a brief glance is "Oliver."
I look back -- Oliver is watching me. He smiles.
Since I asked, I have to actually use the bathroom. It's out in the hallway, shared with the insurance agency next door -- one urinal, one toilet, one sink. I go in, pretend to urinate, turn to wash my hands -- and Brother #1 is there!
The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.