I'm finally ready to tell about what happened on New Year's Eve, with Ryan the Small Town Track Star.Indianapolis, December 2016
I had been looking at pictures like the one below, and reading sext messages, for three months, ever since I met Ryan H., the college track star, in a diner in small-town Illinois. Finally, just before Christmas, I drove into Champaign, and he took me out on a date, which involved meeting his parents, a wrestling meet, a mediocre dinner, hanging out with his friend, but NO SEX.
Ryan asked me out on a second date, to a "21 and Under" pizza party in Indianapolis on New Year's Eve.
I never go out on New Year's Eve.
I definitely didn't want to go to a teenage party at age 56.
And I DEFINITELY definitely didn't want to go to a teenage party that results in nothing more intimate than a kiss on the doorstep.
But take a look at that combination of face, physique, and Mortadella+! Maybe there's some way I can talk the conservative Ryan H. into dropping his drawers.
I texted him and offered to take him to a "Real West Hollywood-style Gay Party" on New Year's Eve.
"I've never been to a party with all gay guys before," Ryan said. "Sounds exciting, but I'm also a little nervous. There won't be any drugs, will there?"
"No drinking, no drugs, just some desserts and party games."
Now I just had to arrange the party.
I asked Tyler to be the host. He's the "son" of my ex-boyfriend Fred (actually the son of his roommate): a chef, 33 years old, very tall, with a tight physique, curly black hair, a scrubby beard, and a hairy chest.
"I'll take care of the party guests," Tyler offered. But by December 28th, he had managed to get solid commitments from only two of his ex-boyfriends (Jesse and Sandoval), both bears in their 50s.
On December 28th, I got cruised by the waiter in a crazy retro restaurant: Mike, age 23, medium height, on the thin side, with a round face, heavy eyebrows, and short brown hair. We went out on the 29th, and I invited him to the party.
Most West Hollywood Parties begin at 6:00, but since it was New Year's Eve and we would be up until midnight, I picked up Ryan H. at the Sheraton at 7:00 pm, shook hands with his parents, and kissed and groped him in the elevator on the way down to the lobby. Then we drove to Tyler's apartment.
Pre-Dinner Conversation
The usual coming out stories, dates from hell, enormous penises, and celebrity hookups. I told about my date with Michael J. Fox, which impressed the older guys but not Ryan -- he looked away. I started telling about my hookup with Justin, the supersized guy at the gym, but stopped when Ryan picked up a magazine. Bored? Embarrassed?
This was the guy who had been sending me nude selfies for three months.
Dinner
Tyler served a traditional Greek New Year's Eve dinner: a lamb-macaroni dish, a cabbage salad, and vasilopita There was wine, but Ryan, Mike, and I drank Diet Coke. Then he passed out bowls of green grapes.
"Have a mouthful of grapes when the clock strikes midnight," he said, "For good luck in the coming year.""What if my mouth is already full?" I asked, looking at Ryan. He looked away.
Embarrassed? Was I doing something wrong?
oval asked. "Jesse and I are going that way. We'll be happy to drop you off."
The full story, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.