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We had to mark little ballots about who we thought would win Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Costume, and so on, and the one who got the most categories right won a prize-- a nude photo of Yul Brynner (bisexual star of The King and I), an anatomically correct Oscar statue, or a camp music album like The Odd Couple Sings.
If you got too many categories wrong, you got a spanking, bare butt, one slap on one cheek, by each of the other guests in turn.
The problem is, except for blockbuster science fiction, I saw only movies with gay characters, a promise of gay subtexts, or significant beefcake, so my knowledge was limited. Check the best picture nominees that I had actually seen at the time of the Oscars. And my spankings.
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| Larry's House |
1989: I was in Turkey.
1990: None of the nominees. Winner: Driving Miss Daisy.
1991: Ghost (which I thought would be paranormal) and Goodfellas. Winner: Dances with Wolves.
1992: Bugsy and JFK. Winner: Silence of the Lambs.
1993: Howard's End and The Crying Game. Winner: Unforgiven.
1994: The Fugitive. Winner: Schindler's List. Spanking
1995: I didn't go.
1996: None. Winner: Braveheart. Spanking.
1997: Fargo. Winner: The English Patient. Spanking
1998 and 1999: I was in New York.
2000: Larry didn't do it, but another guy hosted. None Winner: Shakespeare in Love.
2001-2004 I didn't go.
4 spankings in 11 Oscar parties!
It wasn't all bad. Some of the guys turned the spanking into a grope, and by the end of the evening I usually had a few telephone numbers.
But still, either I have to start watching more heterosexual dramas, or Hollywood has to start nominating more movies with gay content.