NYSocBoy's Beefcake and Bonding

Johnny Sheffield (1931-2010) spent the first 24 years of his life being filmed in a loincloth cut to the thigh, first as "Boy," son of Tarzan Johnny Weissmuller in 8 movies (1939-1947), and then as the teenage Bomba the Jungle Boy in 12 movies (1949-1955). After all that, it proved impossible to find a fully-clothed role, so Johnny went to UCLA, got his degree in business, and had a successful second career in real estate.

The movies were on tv constantly during my childhood, and now they're all available on DVD.

I noticed something interesting: in all of the Tarzan movies featuring the adolescent Boy, and in all but one of the Bomba movies, Johnny gets tied up.

Did the directors have a bondage fetish?

Or is it a matter of maximizing beefcake?

Johnny begins to get an impressive physique in the last 3 Tarzan movies, which are terrible. Maureen O'Sullivan refused to do them, so Jane was recast with Brenda Joyce.

The Bomba movies are even worse: endlessly recycled stock footage of African animals, and an endlessly recycled plot about Bomba falling in love with a visiting colonial administrator's daughter while fighting poachers or insurrectionists.

How can you get audiences to fork over money to see such stuff?

Easy: show some pecs and biceps, and maybe a loincloth-bulge now and then.

So you add a few scenes of Johnny asleep, or else unconscious after falling out of a tree. The camera zooms in for a close up of his face, shoulders, chest, stomach, and loincloth. Then it starts over again. Before we're done, we've been staring at Johnny's body for five minutes.

But sleeping/unconscious shots show the muscles at rest. Audiences want big, bulging, flexing muscles. Fight scenes with bad guys or wild animals cause bulges, and sometimes the loincloth rides up to reveal the underwear beneath, but there's too much moving around for a serious gawk at Johnny's body.

Idea: why not have Boy/Bomba tied up, threatened by poachers or about to be sacrificed by an evil cult or something? That way he can strain against the bonds, flexing his muscles, but he's not moving. The camera can zoom in, and audiences can stare as he struggles for five minutes.

I'd pay money to see that.

I always say that I had 1 1/2 sexual experiences before that December afternoon a couple of weeks after my 18th birthday, when I went home with Andy the Little Person Postal Worker.

But I've been using a narrow definition. What if I include sausage fondlings, gropes, and grabs? I had at least 12 of those before my 18th birthday.

Grab = You just touch it.
Grope = You manipulate it inside his pants
Fondle = You take it out of his pants

Denkmann Elementary School

1. Mark. December of fifth grade, my wild night: a cute boy named Mark talks me into crossing forbidden 18th Avenue and then going back to his house, without telling my parents where I am. Before I know it, it's dark out, and I'm in big trouble. But I do get a sausage fondling..

2. Javon. In April of fifth grade, I visit my Indian cousins, and we play a game involving tying up my older cousin Javon and "torturing" him for information. Including a sausage fondling.

3. George. Speaking of cousins, that summer I visit my Cousin George in South Carolina. We take a bath together and sleep together nude: "Only fools wear pajamas." And indulge in sausage gropes.

4. Marty. At Nazarene camp the summer after sixth grade, Marty shows me how to "hit a home run" with a girl, and pushes my hand against his pants. I get a major grope of his baseball bat.

Washington Junior High

5. Dan. My boyfriend through junior high. He is a little standoffish, not effusively physical, but once in blue moon we hug and grope a little.

6. Buster. One day when Cousin Buster and I are alone in the trailer, he goes to the bathroom. After awhile he calls me in. He's sitting on the toilet. Ok, this one doesn't really count.

7. David. The summer after ninth grade, two twelfth grade best buddies named Terry and David teach me about oral sex in the church parking lot. The lesson includes an incidental grope.

8. Aaron. I build a private place in the attic of our new house for the purpose of sexual exploration, and soon start inviting other guys there. My conditions are: no girl magazines visible -- hide the covers -- and I get to watch. Tom, Aaron, Craig, and Marty (not the same Marty as in #4) do it in my room at different times, and once Aaron invites me to help him out. He seems embarrassed by the incident, and doesn't come up to my room again.

Rocky High

9.Todd. The night of my first sexual experience, at summer camp with Todd the Lebanese violinist, involves fondling and oral.

10. Verne. We date all through the spring of my junior year, breaking up only when he gets a girl pregnant and has to marry her. Sometimes alone in his room he gets a hankering to "think about girls," which oddly involved sausage fondling.

11. Tyrone. In the school parking lot after the Harvest Dance, Tyrone takes it out and lets me work on it for a few minutes.

12.Dino. During the summer after my senior year, I go to a guy-only party with Dino, and we play naked Slip N Slide. There's some incidental groping in the mass of naked bodies.

I've lost contact with 3 of the boys, 3 are gay, and 6 are straight (or at least they married women and had children). Does that mean that both gay and straight men like sausage fondling?

The full list, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

If you watch every episode of a 100-episode sitcom, you've spend 2300 minutes, not including reruns. That's the equivalent of 19 feature-length movies or 11 novels (at the average adult reading speed).

If it was a 60-minute dramatic series, make that 38 feature length movies and 22 novels.

Then comes the series finale. There will be no more episodes.

You know the characters better than many of your real-life friends. Saying goodbye is going to be painful.

For years you've set aside a special part of your week for the program. You rarely missed it, and when you did, you taped it watch later. You watched all of the summer reruns.There will be a hole in your life for quite some time.

So you sit down for the series finale, hoping for a warm, funny, memorable sendoff. But instead, you get garbage. Mind-destroying, depressing, confusing, WTF garbage.

May 10, 1983: Laverne and Shirley (1976-1983). A sitcom about two bromantic "girlfriends" sharing an apartment in 1950s Milwaukee, right? Except by 1983, there was just Laverne, it was Los Angeles, and the heart of the 1960s (Laverne's boyfriend is a Star Trek fan). Way to destroy your premise.

But the series finale isn't even about that; it's about Laverne's singer/dancer/male prostitute friend Carmine going to New York to audition for Hair.

We don't find out if he got the role or not. And we don't see his nude scene.

May 21, 1990: Newhart (1982-1990): For eight years, Bob Newhart played the owner of a bed and breakfast in a small New England town full of quirky residents, whom you grew fond of over the years. Who can forget "I'm Larry, and this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl?"

But on May 21st, 1990, Bob wakes up in bed as Dr. Bob Hartley, the psychologist in his old series, and tells his old wife, Emily, "What a dream I had!" Way to destroy beloved characters, Bob!

July 20, 1994: Dinosaurs (1991-1994). A nuclear family spoof starring cute, cuddly dinosaurs in ABC's kid-friendly Friday night lineup. Remember "I'm the baby, gotta love me"?

How best to end the hearwarming series: how about with a eco-catastrophe that kills every dinosaur on the planet? Including the entire Sinclair family? Including the baby?

May 20, 1997: Roseanne (1988-1997). The queen of lower-middle class urban blight and her ragtag family spent eight seasons being the anti-Cosbys, not affluent, or educated, or elegant. It featured Johnny Galecki as a teenager with a terrible hairdo. Then Roseanne wins the lottery, and spends the last season hob-nobbing with the rich and famous.

That's not the worst of it, though -- in the last episode, we are told that this has all been a story that Roseanne has written. The real people are all different. Dan is dead. Jackie is a lesbian, so her husband and child don't exist. But Mom isn't a lesbian. The daughters switch husbands. Everything we thought we knew about the show is wrong.

May 14, 1998: Seinfeld (1989-1998). In this execrable finale for what critics termed the best series in the history of television, the Fab Four are facing jail time for violating a "good Samaritan" law that, if it existed, would get them a fine, at most.

And everyone they've interacted with comes rushing to town to complain. Their honest attempts to help are recast as diabolical plots. Mistakes and accidents are recast as deliberate malice. Everything we thought we knew about the show is wrong. Oh, and they go to prison.

August 9, 1999: Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1985-1999). For 12 years, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank tortured the hapless heroes on the Satellite of Love, Joel/Mike and the bots, with "cheesy movies, the worst that we can find." The only way they could keep their sanity was to riff on the cheesy plots. In the series finale, Mike and the bots finally escape.

Do they change the world? Reveal the diabolical plot in a tell-all book? At least find a life far removed from their 12-year imprisonment? No -- they are shown living in a small apartment, eating pizza and riffing on bad movies.

At least they don't meet girls.

September 8, 2004: The Drew Carey Show (1995-2004). This program was all about setting: the sprawling Winfred-Lauder Department Store in downtown Cleveland, where Drew worked as a middle-management drudge, Mr. Wick as head of personnel, and Mimi as his secretary.

So how to handle the last season: end the department store, drop some of the characters, and give the others nonsensical new jobs at a new store. Oh, and have Drew and Mimi live together, raising a 10-year old boy who was a baby last season.

May 18, 2006:Will and Grace (1998-2006). After endless seasons of proclaiming that gay men are really women, that gay men all have sex with women, that gay people simply do not exist, Will and Grace went out with a bang: Will and his cop beau adopt a daughter, Grace and her husband gave birth to a son, and twenty years later, the son and daughter marry.

Whatever momentary glitch being gay caused in the cosmic order, it has been resolved with a man and a woman gazing into each other's eyes forever.

May 20, 2010: Lost (2004-2010). For five seasons, we were told that the crash survivors facing paranormal peril on a crazy island weren't in Purgatory. Well, guess what -- they are. Well, actually, in an alternate world where they forget that they were ever on the island, until they are reminded. Then they get back together and go into the light.

And Vincent the Dog dies.

November 1987, Silverlake

I met Will at Sunset Junction, the gay street fair held every October in Silverlake, L.A.'s second gay neighborhood.

He was about five years older than me, short, compact, with a little belly and a very hairy chest, one of the first "bears" I ever met. He told me that he worked at the Eagle, a leather bar in Silverlake.

I was a little nervous about accepting a date with a bartender -- he must get drunk a lot. But Will was attractive, different from my usual Asian and Hispanic guys, and besides, I wanted a tour of Silverlake. It was 15 miles from West Hollywood, way out where Santa Monica met Sunset, so we didn't go there much.

We had dinner at La Casita, a very bright, colorful Mexican restaurant -- rather a treat, since there were no Mexican restaurants in West Hollywood at the time.

Then Will took off his shirt, put on a leather vest, and took me to the Eagle.

It was my first time in a leather bar. Older crowd, a lot of bears, a lot of chaps and leather jackets and cigarette smoke. I was the youngest guy there, a little out of place in my cruisy tank top and jeans.

Will got himself a bottle of beer and me a soda, and introduced me to some of the regulars. One asked "Isn't it past your bedtime, kid?"

I wasn't amused. "I'll be 27 next week."

Will escorted me away. "Don't mind him -- he's just jealous, We don't get many young guys at the Eagle. The rule is, West Hollywood for twinks and creepy old guys, Silverlake for daddies and bears." He paused. "So, what do you like to do? In bed, I mean."

The question was surprising, even shocking. In West Hollywood we never asked -- we just brought the guy into our bedroom and found out. It must be a Silverlake thing.

"Oh, um....the usual." I stammered. "You know, a lot of kissing and cuddling and...well, the usual."

"What about non-vanilla sex? Like, you know, bondage? BDSM scenes?"

"I'm not very experienced with that," I said. "My first boyfriend Fred liked to be tied up and spanked, and I met a guy at Mugi who had a closetful of whips and paddles. But I've been reading Cavelo and Sean since I lived in Indiana."

"Wow, Cavelo and Sean, that's hardcore stuff! You're probably ready for a scene, do you think?"

"What kind of scene?"

"Kidnapping and POW are my favorites, but my super super favorite is cannibalism."

The rest of the story, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

As you get older, you're supposed to get crankier, with petty annoyances building up over the years. But I've been annoyed by these examples of rudeness, insensitivity, or craziness my whole life.

On the Street

1. When you're walking alone on the street, why do people walk very fast and overtake you, as if they're planning to attack? They should keep their distance!

2. When a group is standing around, why do they wait until the exact moment you have passed to start laughing hysterically? It's really disconcerting.

3. Why do parents let their toddlers run wild, bumping into people with their chocolate stained hands, saying "hi" 50,000 times, or just staring?

4. When there are double doors going into a building, why does everyone clog one side? Are they afraid to try the other side, for fear it will be locked and they'll look stupid?

Driving

1. Why do cars zoom around and cut you off? Are they trying to demonstrate their macho superiority? Sometimes I just move into the other lane, so they can go past without cutting me off. Or I follow a truck, so they'll cut them off instead.

2. Conversely, why do they drive 10 miles under the speed limit, when there's no traffic and the weather is fine?

3. I don't understand why anyone would listen to music while driving anyway -- it's incredibly distracting. But why revv it up to ear-splitting levels when you're stuck at an traffic light?

4. Why do driving apps take you on the absolute shortest route, even though the tiny, meandering side street with fifty stop signs is 5.3 miles from your goal, and the limited access highway 5.2.?

Restaurants

1. Why does the server come swooping out of nowhere in the middle of your meal to ask "Are you doing ok?" It's always when you're in the middle of an intimate, embarrassing conversation about your body odors or preferred sexual activities.

2. On the Plains, it's even worse. He asks "How is everything tasting?", precluding the possibility of you asking for more water or a new fork.

3. Why does the server snatch your plate away the second you're done eating? It's disconcerting to have a plate suddenly vanish from in front of you!. I always leave a little food on my plate, to keep it there.

4. Why would anybody ask for a bit of food from someone else's plate, or a sip of their soda? It's disgusting! Get your own!

In Shops

1. Why do floorwalkers latch onto you the minute you walk in the door, and won't take "Just looking!" for an answer?

2. Why does the person ahead of you in line always have a cartful of crazy, nonsensical items, like 8 Gatorades, 3 bags of donuts, eyebrow tweasers, and a can of bug spray?

3. And he doesn't realize that he has to pay. When he is informed, he looks confused, then slowly fishes around in the big bag for the little bag, fishes a checkbook from the little bag, and writes a check. Which requires the manager's approval.

4. Why do salesclerks always make sarcastic comments about your purchases, like "Going to do some heavy reading tonight?" when you buy a magazine? Isn't buying things what the store is all about?

5. And try to sell you a rewards card, a 10% off card, a subscription to the newsletter, a membership, a chance to win a prize, and a duck, when you just came in to buy batteries?

With Friends

1. Why does everyone assume that everyone is a drunk, so when they invite you over for dinner, they have nothing but booze and seltzer to drink, and they serve some disgusting booze-laced concoction like soup with beer in it?

2. And, if your appetite isn't already ruined, they insist on playing the most depressing whiny torch songs they can find as "dinner music."

3. Why would someone go out with you with the expectation of hooking up with someone and abandoning you in some bar? When you go out together, you come home together, no exceptions.

4. Why would you leave a room without saying "excuse me"? Don't just vanish and have everyone wondering where you went and waiting around like idiots for you to get back!

5. When you spend the night with someone, you get breakfast the next day. Take them out, fry some eggs, slap down some Cheerios, something. Don't just kick them out the door on an empty stomach!

The Plains, January 2016

Remember the hookup contest Gabe and I had before Christmas?

We each chose someone for the other guy to try to hook up with on a dating app. I had to approach the 18-year old Bastian, a high school senior whose profile said explicitly "no older guys" and "no hookups -- dating and relationships only."

So I offered to set Bastian up on a date with Gabe, and tag along "for moral support."

All's fair in love and cruising.

The date was scheduled for December 20th, but Bastian cancelled. He said we could reschedule for after Christmas.

I figured that was the last we would hear of him-- younger guys wimp out all the time. But he did text me a few days after Christmas, asking for the date to be scheduled on January 3rd, a Sunday night: dinner at a Mexican place, then the new Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens.

He didn't want his parents to know he was gay, so he arranged to spend the night at a friend's house. We had to pick him up and drop him off there.

Bastian was slim, a little shorter than me, with sandy-blond hair, blue eyes, and sharp features. He was wearing an Adventure Time sweater, no coat, and carrying a backpack. "In case we spend the night," he said, sliding into the back seat next to Gabe.

Driving to the restaurant, I kept mostly quiet. It was their date, after all. Their conversation consisted of:

Gabe: So you're a senior in high school. What are your college plans?

Bastian: I applied to UCLA, Columbia, Florida State, and the University of Hawaii. I'm going to wherever the guys are the hottest. Boomer, you lived in California. Were the guys big there?

Me: Well...um...

Gabe: What do you want to major in?

Bastian: Art. I want to start a fashion blog. I'm really big into fashion. Like, do you shave your down there?

Gabe: [Embarrassed pause]. Um...no, I never tried that.

Bastian: Oh, it's great! It makes you look a lot bigger. Here, have a look. You too, Boomer." [A cell phone is shoved at me, showing Bastian nude, very big, with shaved pubes.]

The questions continued at the restaurant, including the sort of questions one doesn't ask in public in a small town on the Plains:

[Censored]

And, he was rubbing his leg against mine under the table!

When Bastian went to the bathroom, Gabe turned to me: "I thought this was a quiet, shy, conservative guy who wanted to date and get to know you. Sounds like he won't even make it to the end of the movie!"

"I know, it's weird. He was brushing my leg under the table. And I thought he didn't like older guys."

"Consider yourself lucky. He was trying to grope me!" Gabe laughed. "Man, this aggressive bit is a big turn off. We should take him home, so he can take a cold shower!"

"No, let's go to the movie, and see what happens. Maybe he'll calm down. Besides, I've been looking forward to seeing it for weeks."

At the movie, Bastian sat between us and held the popcorn, so we would reach in to get some and grab his hand instead. Plus he used his free hand to brush against my thigh.

Plus [censored]

And he kept peppering us with comments.

"I bet Finn has a big one!"

"You think Finn and Poe are together?"

"Han Solo is one hot Daddy! I'd do him in a minute!"

I shushed him, but the comments continued.

Afterwards we walked out into the lobby and then into the mall parking lot. Bastian linked arms with both of us. "Hey, let's get frozen yogurt!" he said.

"Well, I'm a Vegan," Gabe said. "They probably won't have anything I can eat."

"Ok...so then, back to your apartment?"

Gabe flashed a "no way!" look at me, and said "Well...I have a roommate, so I can't bring anyone home."

Bastian's grip on our arms tightened. "Then let's go back to Boomer's place. He can watch. Or join in!"

We got to the car. Bastian climbed into the front seat, next to me. Gabe climbed into the back.

"Ok, your place, right?" he asked, putting his hand on my knee.

"I'm a little tired," I said. "We'd better just take you home. Or to your friend's house."

"But...you know, it's a date," he said in a small voice.

"We should just take you home," I repeated.

"I thought...but aren't we?"

Was the kid starting to cry?

I put my arm around him. "What's wrong, Bastian? You've been on dates before. Sometimes things happen, sometimes they don't."

His shoulders were trembling. "No, I haven't. I've never been on a date before. Or had sex. I never even met anybody gay before. Everybody at my school is straight. Church, too. I download porn and get hit on by Creepy Old Guys on that dating app, and that's it."

"So why all the questions about rimming and golden showers?"

"And the hands everywhere?" Gabe added.

He looked up teary-eyed. "That's what gay guys do, isn't it? I didn't want you to think I was just an ignorant kid..."

"That's not at all what gay guys do," I said. "What they do is this." I wrapped my arms around him and hugged Bastian, and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't want to let go.

"Maybe I'm up for some frozen tofu, after all," Gabe said. "Then we'll see what happens."

The uncensored story, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

When I was little, there weren't many books in the house except for the Bible and the thick, black, ponderous volumes of the 1955 edition of Collier's Encyclopedia. I used to leaf through it, looking for muscular semi-nude men (try "African Tribes,""The Circus," and "Egypt"). The last volume contained the Reading Guide, a list of the best books ever written, and among them was The Iceland Fisherman (1886), by French novelist Pierre Loti (1850-1923).

Why was a Frenchman writing about Iceland, I wondered. Because of the Northern Thing, the Viking ships and horned helmets and "Baldur the Beautiful"? Because it was a place of wild freedom, where men could hug, kiss, and marry?

The mystery of the French Icelander stayed with me for years. When I took French in high school and then college, I was surprised that no professor ever mentioned Pierre Loti or The Iceland Fisherman-- wasn't it the "best book ever written"? It wasn't in our library. But one day I ordered a copy from interlibrary loan.

No professor mentioned it because it was a symbolist novel, no longer in style. And gay-themed.

A group of Breton fishermen sail to Iceland each summer in search of cod. Sylvestre, "a girlish boy," befrieds the big, muscular Yann, who disapproves of women and says he'll "marry the sea."

Back in France, Sylvestre courts women, in darkness, "dreaming of death," but in the summer he goes out to sea again, and leans against Yann, and they go on "gaily with their fishing in the everlasting daylight."

When Sylvestre dies in Indochina, Yann is heartbroken, and finally marries his sister, so at least some part of him will remain. But that is not enough, so in the end Yann surrenders to the sea. But even in death they cannot be together, for Sylvestre had "gone to sleep in the enchanted gardens, far, far, away, on the other side of the earth."

The novel is famous in France. Pecheur d'Islande has been filmed several times, notably in 1959 (with Jean-Claude Pascal, left, and Georges Poujouly) and in 1996 (with Antony Delon, top photo, and Marius Colucci). The film versions apparently emphasize The Girl.

Pierre Loti was himself bisexual, sleeping with women but longing for the wild homoerotic freedom of Turkey and the Middle East. He filled his home with mementos of his journeys, including many paintings of semi-nude men, such as these Easter Islanders, as well as semi-nude photos of his own muscular physique (most destroyed after his death).

I love bathhouses. In the U.S. most gay guys shun them as sleazy relics of a closeted generation, but in Europe they're a mainstay of gay life.

It's not just about hooking up. You can lift weights in a fully-equipped gym -- a plus in Europe, where gyms with day passes are scarce -- take a steam or sit in the hot tub, listen to live entertainment, read the latest magazines, chat with friends. Where else can you get all of that in two hours, for a fee of five Euros?

And for hooking up, they're far superior to bars and apps:
1. You can see everything the guy has to offer in advance -- no lying, no dissimulation, no hiding unsightly parts under heavy sweaters.
2. You don't have to interview him, call a friend to share, or do any of the other precautions necessary when you invite a stranger home. The act occurs right there.

Here are my top 10 bathhouses, and the guys I met there:

Bloomington

1. When my friend Viju came home to Rock Island with me in the summer of 1983, I took him to Man's Country, Chicago, on Clark Street, in the heart of the first gay neighborhood I ever knew existed. It looks like a haunted armory now, but in 1983 it was pristine, all black and chrome, with a maze, a wall of glory holes, and room after room of men.

We met an older guy named Mike, who took us to a gay bar with a picture of Yosemite Sam on the placard before going back to his place to spend the night.

West Hollywood

2. Banos Vica, Tijuana. At least I think that's the place Alan dragged me to in the 1980s.

Talk about sleazy! In a crazy galleria. You undress, dump your clothes in a bag, and go upstairs and wander through creaking corridors, dimly lit by bare bulbs, paint chipping on the walls, trash on the floors, sleazy looking guys in the shadows. I loved it.

We met Alejandro, a slim guy from Veracruz who spoke both Spanish and Nahuatl, but no English. Alan wasn't happy with my ability to monopolize the conversation.

3, Lane and I went to Europe almost every summer from 1989 to 1996, and always looked for the bathhouses in the cities we visited. My favorite was the Sauna Condal in Barcelona, probably the biggest bathhouse I've ever been to, spread over three floors, with a gigantic darkroom, rows of glory holes, and many theme nights. We met Ramon, who was of Chinese ancestry but didn't speak Chinese. Big into Catalan independence.

New York

4. Sauna Centre-Ville, Montreal. Four floors, with a rooftop patio. Playrooms, glory holes, dark rooms, a dungeon with a sling and bondage equipment. I was in town for a conference in the summer of 1998, and met the Wing Man to the Muscle God.

5. In New York, I started making the annual Paris-Brussels-Amsterdam jaunt, and in Paris I always found time for Les Bains d'Odessa. An ancient Roman motif. A pool, live entertainment, glory holes, a lounge with drinks and snacks, bear nights the first of the month. Plus, around the corner from the Luxembourg Gardens. That's where I met Jean the Violinist who wouldn't let me touch his instrument, and Ludek, of the glory hole bait-and-switch.

Florida

6. Plus I lived about a mile from the Club (now known as the Clubhouse II), so I went at least once a week. Mazes of private rooms, brunch every Sunday, tourists from around the world. I met the Intersexed Guy there in 2003, and Barney hooked up with the Jolly Green Giant.

7. During my terrible summer in Slovakia, my friend Doc and I visited the Sauna Labyrint in Prague. Very bold color scheme, all in pinks and blues. 3 floors of dark rooms, mazes, and glory holes, plus a bar and video rooms. No weights, but you can put off your workout until later. We invited a very muscular Polish businessman named Bartek to our room. He came to Munich with us.

Dayton

8. While living in Dayton, I often made the two-hour trip to Indianapolis to visit my relatives, and then stopped in at the Works. Rather small, no darkrooms, a giant steamroom. But I managed to meet Jim, one of the youngest mayors in Indiana history, who invited me to visit his small town.

Upstate

9. While I was living upstate, I often went to the River Club in Albany, rather small and sort of expensive ($20 for 4 hours), but immaculate. The night I became a Creepy Old Guy, I met the 21-year old Peter.

10. And I started driving home to the Midwest every summer. It was a two-day trip, with theFlex Club in Cleveland as a convenient halfway point. In a terrible part of town, but at least there was a good Thai restaurant in walking distance. Full hotel facilities, plus video rooms, dark rooms, indoor and outdoor pools, a restaurant-bar, and a beautifully equipped gym. Admission was so cheap that some locals came every day. Like Trayton, an incredibly muscular guy who bragged to all of his friends about our hookup.

The uncensored post, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Speaking of John Astin, his adopted son Sean, born in 1971, was a reliable teen idol through the 1980s, with iconic roles in The Goonies (1985), White Water Summer(1987), and The War of the Roses (1989). (Meanwhile his brother Mackenzie was starring in The Facts of Life).

But Sean's gay subtexts began in earnest with starring roles in Memphis Belle (1990), a "boys alone" movie about a World War II airforce squadron (with Matthew Modine, Tate Donovan, and D. B. Sweeney).

In the beefcake-heavy Toy Soldiers (1991), about boys alone in a private school.

In Where the Day Takes You (1992), as homeless drug addict Greg, who is partnered with Little J (Balthazar Getty).

And in Encino Man (1992), about college student Dave (Sean) and his slacker buddy Stony (Paulie Shore) unfreezing a cave man (Brendan Frasier) trapped in the ice.

In the late 1990s, Sean was mostly involved in boy-meets-girl-comedies and heterosexist actioners, but he returned to gay subtexts in a big way in The Lord of the Ringstrilogy (2001-2003): his Sam Gamgee was achingly in love with Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood), in spite of the marrying-a-girl conclusion.

Today he is a little beefy, but he can still fill out a Speedo.

Although he is a supporter of gay marriage, Sean's only gay character, in Stay Cool (2009), was a homophobic stereotype, a swishy hairdresser named Big Girl.

Have you heard about the movement to remove the T from LGBT, making us gay, lesbian, and bisexual only?

The problem is, we've never been gay, lesbian, and bisexual only. We've always been open to everybody.

Granted, in West Hollywood in the 1980s, you were expected to be gay/lesbian or straight.

But I don't think we were deliberately being exclusionary. We just grew up hearing that "all guys like girls,""same-sex desire does not exist." So for a guy to admit that he did, in fact, like girls and boys sounded a lot like heterosexist brainwashing kicking in.

And we heard constantly that "gay men are really women." So for a guy to admit that he was, in fact, a woman sounded like more heterosexist brainwashing.

By the 1990s, we were confident enough to admit that there were bisexuals and transpeople among us.

We became LGBT.

Queer came next, either as an all-purpose term for LGBT.

Or for people who didn't want to identify as gay, bi, or straight, who wanted to acknowledge the fluidity of desire.

So we became LGBTQ.

For many years, physicians have known about people whose chromosomes or sex organs don't fall into the male or female categories. But they were always pushed into one or the other category, sometimes with surgery.

Then intersexed people began to assert that they are fine the way they are, that you don't need to look male or female. Why shouldn't they join the rest of us who are fighting for an end to "you must look like a man, act like a man, and like women"?

So we became LGBTQI.

For many years, psychiatrists and physicians assumed that sexual desire was universal. Everyone who ever lived desired men, women, or both. If you didn't, you were prescribed medication or psychotherapy to get to the root of your "problem."

Then asexual people began to push for acknowledgement that they are fine the way they are, that warm, caring friendships are more than enough to fill a lifetime. Why shouldn't they join a group that has been fighting psychiatrists and doctors who want to "cure" us?

So we became LGBTQIA

We are still pushed incessantly into gender-polarized heterosexual desiring boxes. So trying to define yourself can be tricky. Some people, especially during adolescence, aren't sure where they belong. But we want them to feel comfortable among us. So we welcomed questioning people.

Now we were LGBTQQIA.

Wait -- what about cisgendered heterosexual people who aren't homophobic or transphobic, who want to support us?

They can come in, too. We'll call them Allies.

So we have become LGBTQQIAA.

Everybody is welcome.

The original nude photos are on Tales of West Hollywood.

During the early 1960s, there was a surfing craze. The Beach Boys were singing "Surfing Sarfari" (1962) and "Surfing U.S.A." (1963). The documentary Endless Summer (1966) followed buff young men around the world in search of the perfect wave. Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello starred in seven surf-and-sun movies: Muscle Beach Party (1964), Beach Blanket Bingo (1965), How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965).

And in the fall of 1965, the 19-year old Sally Field, soon to become one of the most accomplished and successful actors in Hollywood, played Gidget, the "girl midget" who dares enter the male-only surfing world (a role originated by Sandra Dee in 1959, and based on a novel by Frederick Kohner).

It aired on Wednesday nights after teen fave rave The Patty Duke Show, and was expected to draw a similar audience. It was hip, in color, with a modern soundtrack and lots of exterior shots -- almost unheard of for a sitcom. But in 1965 there was usually just one tv set per household, and the grown-ups all wanted to watch The Beverly Hillbilliesor The Virginian, so it wiped out after only 32 episodes.

Too bad. It had a lot for gay kids to like. Fortunately, it's available on DVD.

1. Although Gidget and her best friend Larue both have boyfriends, they seem more social necessities and objects of competition than conduits of desire. The main emotional bond comes between the two girls.

2. And for the gay boys in the audience, there is an endless parade of beefcake. In color.

Gidget's main boyfriend, played by Peter Duel (who would go on to Alias Smith and Jones).

Her boy pals, played by Rickie Sorenson and Michael Nader, left (nephew of gay actor George Nader)

Martin Milner of Route 66and Adam-12 as the surfing great Kahuna.

Lots of muscular guest stars lounged in swimsuits on the beach, included Dick Gautier, Walter Koenig (Star Trek), Daniel J. Travanti (left), and Tim Rooney (Village of the Giants).

Sally Field went on to star in The Flying Nun and become one of the most respected actresses in Hollywood, but she still has a soft spot in her heart for Gidget and her boys.

In 2004, child actors Dylan and Cole Sprouse became the teen stars of one of the biggest hits -- and biggest gay subtext series -- in the history of the Disney Channel, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody (2004-2008).

It was about two twins, the scheming teen operator Zack (Dylan) and the bookish intellectual Cody (Cole) who move into the posh Tipton Hotel, where their mother works as a singer. In an unprecedented 83 episodes, no one Said the Word, but gay subtexts were everywhere, from the gay-vague hotel manager Mr. Moseby to Zack's "date" with a popular boy to two boys obviously dancing together at a party.

In 2008, the twins, now 16, spun off onto The Suite Life on Deck (2008-2011), taking their shenanigans (and the gay subtexts) to a luxury cruise ship. They wanted more control over the writing and direction, but Disney refused, so after 3 seasons and 71 episodes, they had had enough of Zack and Cody.

They also left the world of acting behind. They enrolled in New York University, where Cole is studying archaeology, and is also an accomplished photographer. Dylan is studying video game design and fine arts, and sells his artwork online.

In 2013, they toured Japan with Shin Koyamada as International Ambassadors on the U.S.-Japan Discovery Tour.

Both brothers are rumored to be gay, and Cole, the more feminine of the two, has been linked with Jake T. Austin, but they haven't made any public statements. Cole's tweets avoid any discussion of relationships. Dylan mentions men and women both, but states, in jest, that he's not attracted to either, just to cookies.

On the other hand, he didn't upload his nude self-pix to the internet to draw the interest of cookies.

The fully nude pic is on Tales of West Hollywood

January 7th, 2011. Cleveland, Ohio.

My boyfriend Troy and I are traveling crosscountry from Upstate New York to Indianapolis to visit my relatives. Cleveland is a convenient halfway point, so we get a room at the Flex Club, which offers a full gym, two swimming pools, a steamroom maze, and a bar downstairs, and bathhouse facilities and hotel rooms upstairs.

7:00 pm

After we check into our room, Troy hits the cruising area, and I go to the gym. The only other guy there is not particularly muscular, obviously not a gym regular, gamely trying to figure out how to bench press.

I go over and offer to spot him.

His name is Lester. He's in his 20s, of medium height, unruly black hair, black eyebrows, and sharp features, not handsome but pleasant in a quirky bohemian way, He has with a thin chest, prominent nipples, and nicely rippled abs, plus a soft Southern accent that I find attractive. He reminds me of my Kentucky Kinfolk.

I steer him toward the Nautilus machines and demonstrate proper form.

"So, are you from Cleveland?" he asks.

"New York, actually. I'm just here for the night. My boyfriend and I have a hotel room upstairs."

"Wow, I just have a locker. I heard the hotel rooms were nice -- I've never been in one."

"Well, come on up, and I'll give you a tour."

The rest of the story, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

I grew up on comic books -- all of the Gold Key jungle adventures, Uncle Scrooge, Little Lulu, the Harvey ghosts and witches, Archie, an occasional Batman or Superman.

And comic strips -- Peanuts, B.C., the Wizard of Id, Beetle Bailey, Doonesbury. More recently I've been buying complete runs of classic comic strips like Popeye, Li'l Abner, and Pogo.

So I want to like modern graphic novels. I really do.

I keep buying them off Amazon, after careful researching plot summaries and reviews. They must have a male protagonist, no wife or girlfriend mentioned, and no "homophobia" in any keyword search. I also search for "gay" and the author's name, to see if there are any casually homophobic comments.

I rejected The Goon because the muscular lug believes that he's too ugly for "any woman" to want him, The Sandman because Morpheus, the God of Sleep, goes to the underworld to rescue a woman he once loved, and Stormboy because the cover had a naked woman on the cover.

Still, after all that research, I'm usually disappointment. Heterosexist boy-gets-girl plotlines are everywhere, just not mentioned in plot summaries, and homophobic comments are more common than in 1980s Brat Pack movies.

My latest haul:

1. Kill Shakespeare, by Connor McCreary and Anthony Del Col.

"A fantastic concept, cleverly executed with style and smarts"
"Lke the best of Shakespeare himself."

In a weird fantasy world where all of Shakespeare's characters are alive and co-existing, Hamlet joins Falstaff and Juliet to seek out their Creator. Othello and Iago have a bit of a subtext, but Falstaff wenches outrageously, and Hamlet falls in love with...you guessed it.

2.Deadly Class, by Rick Remender and Wes Craig.

"Enough good things cannot be said about Deadly Class. It' a book that can make people fall in love with comics."

A homeless boy enrolls in a private school for teenage assassins, and learns the art of murder, in dialogue peppered with homophobic statements, including a liberal assortment of "fags" and "c*ksuckers." Oh, and he has sex with an assortment of naked ladies.

3. Chew, by John Layman and Rob Guillory

"Overflowing with big imaginative ideas."
"An entertaining and surprisingly compelling bit of storytelling that almost defies description."

In a future dystopia, detective Tony Chu is cibopathic: when he eats meat, he can see the animal's final moments. Good with murder investigation, if you don't mind eating parts of a human corpse. He has a partner, who is killed before any buddy-bonding can occur. And -- wait for it -- he falls in love with a woman.

4. Billy the Kid's Old Timey Oddities, by Eric Powell and Kyle Hotz.

"Six-shootin' satisfaction."
"This is one crazy book -- well-written and worthy of your hard-earned cash."

Billy the Kid joins a traveling "freak" show to search for a mystical object called "the Golem's Heart." It turns out to be the Heart of Frankenstein. On the way, he litters his speech with homophobic epithets, from "sissy" to "daisy pickin', knob-polishing', pickle-swallowing, effeminate sack of mule crap."

I'll admit, that is one of the more colorful ways that someone has expressed how much they hate gay people.

5. Manifest Destiny, by Chris Dingess, Matthew Roberts, and Owen Gieni.

"The monsters of the western frontier in the adventure of a lifetime."

In 1804, Lewis and Clark set out to find the Northwest Passage. But their real task is to find monsters. They do: Buffalo minotaurs, fairies, a telepathnic carnivorous flower, and disgusting plant-zombies.

Still, sure fire buddy bonding, right?

Wrong. They meet any number of shapely young ladies, dream of them nude, and discuss the special characteristics of Native American women's pubic hair. Nauseating.

Well, we'll keep on keeping on. I just ordered:

1. Incidents in the Night, by B. David. The hero goes on a tour of Parisian bookshops and uncovers a plot to change history.

2. Birthright, by Joshua Williamson. When a boy is swept away to a parallel universe, his father must join forces with a man from the world to save him.

3. Battling Boy, by Paul Pope. A boy is swept away to a crazy alien world, where he is hailed as a superhero.

4. Top 10, by Alan Moore. A cop patrols the streets of Neopolis, inhabited entirely by superheroes.

5. Age of Bronze, by Eric Shanower. A graphic novel retelling of the Trojan War. How can you go wrong with half-naked Greek heroes?

Davenport, Iowa, December 1979

There are a practically infinite number of bedroom acts you might want to engage in during a date with this guy, but for most gay men, the Big Four are, in the terms we used in the 1980s:

French active/passive
Greek active/passive

French was the mainstay. You didn't even need to ask; you could just assume that any guy you met was up for it. It's just what you expected to happen in the bedroom.

It's the only major activity that I knew about for 1 1/2 years after figuring "it" out.

Well, where was I supposed to learn about Greek?

There was no gay porn then, at least none that I had access to.

The Joy of Gay Sex had been published but wasn't on the shelves at the Waldenbooks in the Mall.

None of the guys I was intimate with suggested Greek, or even mentioned it.

Then, on December 16, 1979, during my sophomore year in college, Fred the Ministerial Student asked me for a date.

The rest of the story is too explicit for Boomer Beefcake and Bonding. You can read it on Tales of West Hollywood

My brother and I spent many Saturday nights in the 1970s in our attic room, watching old horror and sci-fi movies on Chuck Acri's Creature Feature on our portable black & white tv set (it was past our bedtime, so we kept the sound low, so our parents wouldn't hear).

Although nearly all of them had a heterosexist "fade-out kiss" ending, there were plenty of buddy-bonding scenes as two guys compete over a girl, and then work together when the monster kidnaps her.

And everyone knew that you didn't watch a monster movie just for the plot. The guys took their clothes off. A lot.

Here are the most beefcake-heavy horror movies of the 1950s. Most of them have been parodied on MST3K, but try to get the originals, so Joel and the Bots don't interfere with your view of the biceps.

1. Robot Monster (1952). An alien that looks like a gorilla in a space helmet destroys the world, then terrorizes the survivors, including gay actor George Nader, who forgot to pack a shirt.

2. Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954). Richard Carlson displaying his beefy, hirsute chest in a swimsuit, chasing the monster and buddy-bonding with fellow ichythologist Richard Denning. (See also Richard Carlson;s chest in Tormented.)

3. Revenge of the Creature (1955). In the sequel to Creature from the Black Lagoon, John Bromfield, right (who was apparently gay) provides the revealing swimsuit and boyfriend John Agar, left, provides the muscles.

4. The Creature Walks Among Us (1956). Yet another sequel, with Western hunk Boomer Morrow, left providing the muscles and boyfriend Rex Reason, right, the revealing swimsuit. How did that get past the censors?

5. I was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957). Body of a boy! Mind of a monster! Soul of an unearthly thing! Under the monster mask (left) was bisexual bodybuilder Gary Conway, the object of Dr. Frankenstein's unabashed homoerotic fantasy. Not to worry, he eventually gets a new face.

6. The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957). Grant Williams shrinks right out of his clothes. Unfortunately, he quickly finds something to cover his impressive physique.

7. The Amazing Colossal Man (1957). Glenn Langdon has the opposite problem, growing right out of his clothes (except for his underwear). He immediately goes on a rampage.

8. She-Gods of Shark Reef (1958). Don Durant and Bill Cord are shipwrecked on an island full of flirtatious women, and immediately lose their clothes.

9. Teenage Cave Man (1958). A young Robert Vaughn, the future Man from U.N.C.L.E., as the nameless Cave Boy, who displays his chest while discovering the Big Secret.

10. War of the Colossal Beast (1958). Glenn Langdon refused to do this sequel to The Amazing Colossal Man, so muscular Dean Parker was cast, and given a small eye problem so audiences wouldn't know the difference.

Dean Parker appeared in only one other movie: The Cyclops (1957), where he also flexed his muscles in a monster mask. Apparently that was enough.

11. Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959). Bodybuilder Ken Clark strips down to fight them. He also displayed his body and bulge in South Pacific and several modern-day dramas.

Rock Island, June 3, 1983

I'm home from grad school in Bloomington , with my friend Viju. We've seen most of the sights in the Quad Cities, and I'm running out of ideas.

"We could go to the Amana Colonies, or to Starved Rock State Park...."

"You know what I always wanted to do?" Viju says. "Go to a gay ghetto!"

I knew the term from The Advocate. A neighborhood, a place where gay people can live in freedom, not hiding, With bookstores stocking only gay-themed books! Community centers! Organizations! Gay people walking hand in hand down the street!

According to The Advocate, there are seven gay ghettos in the U.S., in San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Houston, and -- Chicago -- the nearest big city to Rock Island, about three hours away.

June 4th, 11:00 am

We check into our hotel and walk around. It's a little disappointing. No gay couples walking hand-in-hand, or newsstands cluttered with gay magazines, or...well, anything. It looks like a standard suburban neighborhood with small shops, restaurants, gas stations, a drug store. A lot of male-female couples.

You have to look carefully to see the gay presence. Same-sex couples walk in pairs, close together but not touching. Young single men are walking dogs, buying groceries, jogging.

There are bars with closeted names: My Brother's Place, Closet, Carol's Speakeasy.

And one with an obvious name: The Glory Hole.

And a bathhouse: Man's Country.

The rest of the story is too explicit for Boomer Beefcake and Bonding. You can read it on Tales of West Hollywood.

Robert Louis Stevenson's books are sacred, memories of childhoods past where boys conjured up lavish adventures with each other. Especially Treasure Island,written specifically upon a request from his stepson Lloyd Osbourne that there be "no girls in it." And there aren't, except for Jim Hawkin's mother.

So I was quite disappointed with the 2007 German miniseries, in which Jim Hawkins (Francois Goeske) not only has sex with a prostitute, he falls in love with a female stowaway, Sheila (Diane Willems)!

Ok, I thought, but maybe Goeske's other work will redeem him. Some gay characters, or some substantial gay subtexts?

His first starring role was in a 2003 remake of the children's classic Das Fliegende Klassenzimmer (The Flying Classroom), set in a boys' school. Only this one had girls and girlfriends.

In French for Beginners (2006), Henrick (Goeske) goes to France as part of a student exchange program, where he meets the Girl of His Dreams. A reviewer on amazon.com suggests that this "charming" move be used in French language classes.

Grimm's Finest Fairy Tales: The Farmer's Daughter (2008). I'm not familiar with that particular fairy tale, but I imagine it involves Goeske kissing some girls.

Summertime Blues (2009), based on the juvenile novel by Julia Clarke: Alex (Goeske) goes to the countryside with his mother, and meets a girl.

Dornroschen (2009): The fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty. Guess who wakes her with a kiss?

Schlaflos in Schwabing (Sleepless in Schwabing 2012): Consultant investigates a proposed deal with a Chinese company, and her nephew (Goeske) romances the boss's daughter.

Come on, I'm getting nervous. There must be something. How can you star in over 25 vehicles over a period of 10 years, and not have a single gay character or gay subtexts.

Ok, let's try his tv work:

On an episode of the German police procedural SOKO Stutgart (2011): Johannes (Goeske) comes out to his father, a conservative politician.

And on an episode of SOKO 5113 (2012): Julian (Goeske) is a gay concert pianist who suffers a homophobic attack.

I knew there had to be some somewhere.

Rock Island, August 1975

During the summer after ninth grade, we moved to a new house, only a few blocks away from our old house on 41st Street, but bigger, with a double yard where my parents could do their beloved outdoor entertaining. They immediately became friendly with the neighbors.

The family next door had a teenage daughter, Julie, who was majoring in business at Augustana College. We didn't socialize much -- I tried to avoid talking to girls as much as possible, since my parents interpreted the most trivial "hello" as evidence that I was smitten.

But I wouldn't have socialized with her at all except for her boyfriend Conrad.

He was an education major at Augustana, tall and slim, with a handsome square face and a bright smile. Brown hair, a severe military haircut -- unusual in the shaggy-haired 1970s. A little shy and quiet, always deferring to Julie. But he always had a smile for me and my younger brother, and he always tried to engage us in conversation.

They went swimming several times a week, and Conrad picked her up wearing his swimsuit. A smooth, tight chest, lightly tanned, an "innie" belly button, and an enormous bulge! I was desperate to ask if I could come along, but of course they were too old for me to hang out with.

One Saturday about a week after I learned about oral sex in the church parking lot, Mom and Dad held a barbecue for their friends and neighbors. There were about 30 people on five picnic tables in the side yard, eating hamburgers and hot dogs from paper plates, drinking sodas and lemonade from plastic cups.

The family next door was there, but not Julie. Or Conrad.

Then, when we were about ready for dessert, they came rushing into the back yard, wearing swimsuits, carrying beach bags. "Sorry -- we were at the pool and we lost track of time," Julie told Mom.

"No problem, there's lots of hot dogs left, and some potato salad and chips. Go and change clothes, and come back."

The rest of the story, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

I am asked, more frequently than you'd imagine, "Why are all gay men such big fans of Judy Garland?"

Depending on my mood, I answer:

1.I don't know, I haven't finished reading the Gay Handbook yet.

2. Who's Judy Garland?

3. It's more about her hunky costars, Jackie Cooper and Mickey Rooney. Watching them takes our minds off Hitler and Mussolini. You're pretending that it's 1942, right?

What caused the firmly-entrenched Judy-gay men connection?

1. Her movies? 37 of them between 1936 and 1963. I've seen a lot, searching for gay subtexts. But by now they're mostly obscure. Chances are the average gay man under age 70 has seen only The Wizard of Oz.

2. Her music? She released 75 singles and 22 albums between 1936 and 1965. Mostly about falling in love with men or losing her man: "But Not For Me,""Meet Me in St. Louis"; "The Trolley Song." I doubt the average gay man under age 70 is downloading them from itunes regularly.

3. Her tv series, The Judy Garland Show? It was apparently a train wreck, ruined by the weird decision to make fun of the star. I've only seen the Christmas episode, which pretends to take place in her home, with guest stars "dropping by." Daughter Liza pretends that she's been practicing a dance number with her boyfriend (actually choreographer Tracy Everitt). And it hasn't aired since 1963.

4. Her relationship with gay fans? She did marry two gay men, Vicente Minelli and Mark Heron, but her attitude toward gay people was mixed at best. There were much stronger allies, even in the 1960s.

5. Stonewall? Legend has it that Judy's death, on June 22, 1969, sparked the Stonewall Riots and the beginning of gay liberation -- the patrons of the Stonewall Inn were so upset that they refused to take the police harassment anymore. But they were college students and hippies, more interested in Boomererson Airplane than Judy Garland. It's just a legend.

I'm going back to her hunky costars Mickey Rooney and Jackie Cooper. You're pretending that it's 1942, right?

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Sean Astin

Why We Should Keep the T in LGBT, and Add More Letters

Gidget and Her Boys

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The Shy Kentucky Boy at the Bathhouse

Contemporary Graphic Novels: Heterosexism, Homophobia, and Gore

December 1979: Topped for the First Time

Top 10 Beefcake Horror Movies: the 1950s

My First Gay Ghetto: A Community Center, a Bathhouse, and Yosemite Sam

Francois Goeske: Searching for Gay Subtexts

August 1975: A Crush on the Girl Next Door's Boyfriend

The Judy Garland Mystery