NYSocBoy's Beefcake and Bonding

Upstate, March 2011

Troy, my boyfriend in Upstate New York, was a high school French teacher and soccer coach -- rather an anomaly in a town obsessed with baseball -- 25 years old, tall, slim, athletic very handsome, except for the big black earrings and a pink triangle tattoo.

He had never been farther west than Buffalo, so in the spring of 2011, I offered to fly us to West Hollywood and San Francisco.

"That sounds cool," he said, "But you know where I'd really like to go? Texas. Cowboys, sage brush, cattle ranches, oil barons, all that glitz and glamour. You know what they say: 'they grow them big in Texas."

"But...after 210 miserable days in Hell-fer-Sartain -- um, I mean Houston -- I vowed to never set foot in the state again!"

It took several conversations, but finally I agreed: three nights in Austin, Texas, a liberal, bohemian college town nowhere near Hell-fer-Sartain, and then March 15-19 in West Hollywood.

We stayed at a gay bed and breakfast on Lavaca Street, just south of the State Capitol, near the Mexi-Arte Museum, a gay bar called Rain, and a sushi restaurant. Adequately Bohemian. I could stand spending three nights here.

But then Troy had another surprise: "I want to drive out to Houston. It's only 165 miles."

"What? Why?"

"The Montrose is one of the oldest gay neighborhoods in the country. And besides, I've heard so many stories about Hell-fer-Sartain that I want to see it for myself. We'll drive up tomorrow, spend the night, and drive back the next day, ok?"

"No way, Jose! You talked me into coming to Texas, but no way I'm going near that place! I haven't been there in 25 glorious years, and I'm up for at least another 25 years without setting foot in Hell-fer-Sartain."

"Ok, ok! But would you mind if I go myself, just for curiosity's sake? I'll keep a complete log of what happened. Oh -- and carte blanche for cruising?"

"Sure, whatever. You won't find anybody in Hell-fer-Sartain, anyway. Lord knows I tried."

So I spent all day Monday and Tuesday by myself in Austin. Troy returned in time for dinner Tuesday night. As promised, he kept a log.

The rest of the story, with nude photos and sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood

Born in 1973, Andre Gower worked steadily through the 1980s, guest starring on Night Court, Knight Rider, T. J. Hooker, and Mr. Belvedere, and starring starred in several tv series, including Mr. President (1987-88) as the son of the U.S. President (George C. Scott). He was a recurring character on The Hogan Family. He appeared in over 100 commercials.

Interested in stunts as well as acting, he performed a high-wire act on Circus of the Stars twice, in 1983 and 1987.

And he received incessant teen magazine attention.

But Andre's most famous role was in The Monster Squad (1987), a cult classic about a group of kid monster movie fans who encounter the real Frankenstein, Dracula, and so on. He played the leader, Sean. Patrick (Robby Kiger) was his best friend. The others were Rudy (Ryan Lambert, left), a teenage hunk; Horace (Brent Chalem), a fat kid; and Eugene (Michael Faustino), a little kid.

Jason Hervey of The Wonder Years played a school bully.

Not a lot of buddy-bonding, but lots of dreamy teenagers for the gay kids to gaze at. Only five or six homophobic slurs, a welcome relief in an era where preteens and teenagers in movies couldn't go a minute without broadcasting how much they hated gay people. No discussions of girls' breasts, no gazing in awe at a girl walking in slow motion across the schoolyard. There aren't even any lame "aren't boys horny?" jokes when they need a virgin girl to close the portal that the monsters come through.

In 1989, Andre retired from acting to go to college -- he played basketball for the University of North Carolina at Asheville. After graduation, he has worked as a sports writer and journalist, but he still occasionally appears in front of the camera.

Speaking of Stand by Me, Wil Wheaton became a popular teen star of the 1980s with several other starring roles, including Long Time Gone (1986), The Curse (1987), The Man Who Fell to Earth (1987), the beefcake-heavy Toy Soldiers (1991), and the World War II buddy-bonding December (1991), which also starred fellow teen idols Balthazar Getty and Jason London.

But he was probably best known for his role as Wesley Crusher, ship doctor's kid and later ensign on Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-94). Although Wesley was obviously brought on board to draw teens into the Star Treksequel, many fans disliked him; Memory Alpha calls him "one of the most hated characters in sci-fi." Detractors argued that he was a pretentious know-it-all who would just glance at a view screen and come up with the answer that stumped the experienced scientists.

Besides, he wore amazingly ugly sweaters, and he turned down the opportunity to party with three hot teens on a shore leave planet ("Justice," November 9, 1987).

After The Next Generation, Wil capitalized on the hatred of Wesley Crusher by playing a series of jerks, with little or no buddy-bonding.

A football player who covers up a date rape in The Liar's Club (1993).

A Frankenstein built out of both male and female body parts in Mr. Stitch (1995).

An obnoxious, homophobic Christian bookstore manager in Fag Hag (1996).

He also played a gay character: Marco, a participant in an AIDS charity, in Boys Night Out (1996).

More recently, Wil has been doing voice work, in animated tv series and video games. He's also had recurring roles on The Guild, Leverage, and Eureka, and he currently plays himself as Sheldon's arch-nemesis on The Big Bang Theory.

He's a gay ally who has blogged his support of gay marriage.

I love museums. I select cities for vacations on the basis of: 1. Gay neighborhoods; and 2. Museums. My favorites are:
1. The Louvre
2. The Prado
3. The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam
4. The Museum of the Penis in Reykjavik
5. The Museum of Beefcake in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Actually it's the Grohmann Museum on the grounds of the Milwaukee School of Engineering, home to the world's largest collection of art about "Men at Work."

A sizeable percentage of those men at work are beefy, muscular, and shirtless.

(It opened in 2007, so I unfortunately never went when I was living in Racine.)

Start off with the Rooftop Sculpture Garden, for a dozen 9-foot tall statues and 6 smaller statues of men working in fields, heaving hammers, pitching molten metal with their shirts off.

Then go inside for dozens more statues of men working in foundries, artisan shops, mines, and farms, such as The Stempelsetzer (Timberman), by Paul Vogelsanger (top)

Plus hundreds of paintings of working men (and a few women), mostly by German, Flemish, and Dutch artists who obviously enjoyed the nude male form.

Such as In the Military Forge, by Jules Delauney (left).

Or depictions of homoerotic buddy-bonding, such as Baker's Boy and Chimney Sweep, by Paul Charles Chocanne-Moreau.

It's open 9-5 weekdays and 12-6 Saturdays. When you're done, look for This Is It, on Wells Street a few blocks away. It was named the Best Gay Bar in Milwaukee.

The story of my hookup with Superman in Milwaukee is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Speaking of show business dynasties, character actor Jack Cassidy (who starred with Paul Anka in Look in Any Window) married musical theater star Shirley Jones in 1956 (they divorced in 1974). They had three children of their own. After their divorce in 1974, Shirley Jones married comedian Marty Ingels, who helped her raise the youngest two.

1. David was born to Jack Cassidy and his first wife Evelyn Ward in 1950. By 1970 he was starring with stepmom Shirley Jones in The Partridge Family (1970-74) and establishing himself as the top teen idol of his generation. But he also did some tv and movie work, including his own series, David Cassidy: Man Undercover (1978-79).

2. Shaun, born in 1958, became a tv star of his own in the gay-subtext Hardy Boys Mysteries (1977-79). He also had a teen idol career before becoming a writer, director, and producer.

3.Born in 1962, Patrick began his acting career in the anti-drug cautionary tale Angel Dusted (1981), and played gay characters twice: a West Point cadet in Dress Gray (1986), and an actor with AIDS in Longtime Companion (1989). He is still involved in raising consciousness about AIDS.

He's appeared in lots of other tv series and tv movies, including two versions of the Superman myth: he played the villainous Leslie Luckinbill in three episodes of Lois and Clark (1996) and Henry Small, the father of Superboy's girlfriend Lana Lang, on Smallville (2002-2003).

On stage, he got to display his physique in two renditions of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. He's also been in The Music Man, Annie Get Your Gun, Camelot, and 42nd Street.

4, Ryan, born in 1966 (bottom, with his mother, Patrick, and Shaun), wasn't interested in an acting career.

But he guest starred on three episodes of The Facts of Life (1985) with Mackenzie Astin (left) which made the teen magazines go wild -- and in the buddy-bonding Jesse Hawkes (1989) with several other celebrity kids, including Chad McQueen, Ethan Wayne, and Ramon Sheen. Then he moved behind the scenes as a set designer.

See also: David Cassidy.

Milwaukee, January 2014

I love bath houses. I used to be a regular at the River Club in Upstate new York, and whenever I'm in town, I visit the Works in Indianapolis and the Flex Club in Clevelad.

But at Christmas 2013, I flew to Indianapolis, so no Flex Club, and there wasn't time to go to the Works. I was feeling deprived. There were still two weeks left before classes started. Why not take a short "sex vacation"?

The nearest bathhouse was in Milwaukee, and I hadn't been there since I was five years old, so...

Milwaukee has lots of attractions, but I would spend most of my time in the Midtowne Spa. And inside the spa, since the only guys I meet normally are slim, androgynous twinks, my goal was to hook up with five guys like this: macho, hairy, scruffy, muscular. And Older!

Thursday, Jan 9th

I arrived in Milwaukee at 10:30 am, rented a car, and drove to the Kimpton Hotel, in the Third Ward south of downtown. In spite of the silly name, it's an upscale boutique hotel with an art deco feel and lots of quirky touches, like....

Ok, you're more interested in hearing about the sex.

The Midtowne Spa was a two-story cream-colored building, dwarfed by the Cold Storage building next door. No sign outside, just a street number.

Downstairs was all exposed brick with a blue motif: locker rooms, small gym, a sauna, a steam room, a room with bunk beds, and an outdoor patio (closed for the winter). Upstairs were some corridors with private rooms, a game room, and a tv room. No glory holes or orgy room.

Not very crowded: on weekdays, bathhouses tend to be crowded at lunchtime and after work, and I hit it just after the lunch rush, on a day when it was -5 degrees outside. But I did manage to get an invitation back to the room of:

The full story, including my hookup with Superman, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Plains, February 2017

I volunteer for a drop-in center for homeless youth: they can get showers and food, counseling, jobhunting training, or just hang out and play games or watch tv. There are over 100 regular clients, about 30% LGBT or questioning, rejected by their parents after coming out.

Sometimes the gay boys get a little cruisy, probably because that's how they've learned to get what they need, but of course it would be unethical to date or hook up with them.

But the other night I did. Almost.

It was at a fundraiser for the center held at the gay-friendly coffee house: live music, poetry readings, and a silent auction. I staffed the table with a donation jar and some brochures. It was across from the main door, so unless they used the side door, everyone saw me the moment they came in. They also had to walk past me on the way to pick up their orders.

A lot of twinks and college students came in, some of the artsy bohemian regulars, plus a scattering of middle-aged people, one middle-aged gay guy with a nice chest in spite of his "Conky" t-shirt, an elderly guy in leather who said he had been an art history major in college, 40 years ago.

It was fun taking the donations -- especially the $10 and $20 bills -- watching the money pile up -- plus I got a lot of cruisy smiles.

Suddenly a homeless guy came in, rubbing his hands from the February cold, looking around as if he'd never been there before -- a teenager, very tall and thin, with scruffy blond hair and a beautiful, angelic face, the kind that makes you melt. He was wearing a thin hoodie and tattered jeans.

I didn't expect any clients to come, but I wanted to make him feel welcome. "Hi, my name is Boomer. Here for the fundraiser?"

He looked blank. "I...um...I'm Cade. Hi. How much does it cost?"

"Nice to meet you, Cade. There's no admission fee. And if you ask nicely, someone might buy you a cup of hot chocolate."

He stared at the pastries in the display case.

"Um...or a sandwich, if you're hungry."

"That's ok, I'm fine." He went into the main room and sat down to listen to a poetry reading, but eventually he wandered back. He stared at me and the donation jar.

"Lot of donations tonight?"

"Yeah. We're getting a lot of tens and twenties."

"If you want to, you know, go to the bathroom or something, I'll look after the table for you."

This guy was after the donation money! "Thanks, but I'm fine right now. But...you can sit with me if you want." I offered him the chair farthest from the donation jar.

He plopped down next to me. "So...this center is open to gay kids, too?"

"Sure. Lots of the clients are gay."

"That's cool, 'cause sometimes parents aren't ok with it. When I told my Dad I was queer, he gave me a black eye. Said he didn't want 'some pervert' looking at him!"

"That's awful." Cade didn't have a black eye -- he must have been homeless for awhile. "Are you sure you won't let me buy you a sandwich? I'm having one."

He shrugged. "Sure, ok, I'll eat if you're going to." He brushed his knee against mine.

The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

When I was a kid during the Vietnam War, we learned a lot about the languages and cultures of Southeast Asia: Thai, Khmer, Vietnamese, Laotian. My third grade teacher even taught us some Vietnamese phrases to use when we wrote to our fathers and older brothers:

How are you? Bạn khỏe không?
Merry Christmas! Giáng sinh vui vẻ
My penis is very big. Xúc xích của tôi là rất lớn

Ok, maybe not that last sentence.

But we never learned about the Hmong. an ethic group in southern China, Vietnam, and Laos. The Hmong languages, with 3.7 million speakers, are n the Hmong-Mien Family, not related to any other languages of the area. They have seven or eight tones, not just four (as in Mandarin), and consonant configurations never found in Chinese.

Have a nice day: Thov kom koj tau txais koob hmoo tas hnub
How big is your penis?: Qau luaj lub npe hu li cas?

Hmong immigration to the U.S. began just after the Vietnam War, and continued through the 1980s. Today there are 280,000 Hmong in the United States, concentrated in California, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and North Carolina. 10% of the population of St. Paul, Minnesota is Hmong, so many that McDonald's aimed a Hmong-language billboard at them. Unfortunately, the text was garbled and incomprehensible.

You can take Hmong language classes at several colleges in Minnesota and Wisconsin. (Photo © University of Wisconsin).

Hmong students often excel at both academics and athletics. There have been several Hmong All-Americans in Minnesota.

The most famous Hmong-American actor is probably Bao Vee, who starred in Grand Torino (2006).

Many Hmong are traditional, conservative, homophobic, but there has been some pro-gay progress in Hmong communities.

Shades of Yellow is a Hmong LGBT social and political organization active in Minnesota.

According to the spoof site Zaub Quab, after same-sex marriage became the law of the land, the Hmong 18 Council tried to modify the traditional wedding ceremony for "two gay guys getting married." Instead of the traditional bride price, they would institute a grooms' price that both would have to pay because...well, because they're both dudes.

Although I have been a twink magnet for years, the number varies tremendously. On some days, every other guy under age 30 gawks at me like I'm a celebrity On other days, I might as well be invisible: no glances, no stares, no smiles, no nothing.

As an empirical researcher, I've been experimenting to figure out the difference. What draws the twinks, and what repels them?

The first step in a research project is defining your terms. I defined a "cruise" as an up-and-down glance (face-crotch-face) of any duration, with the eyes slightly widened, accompanied by either a smile or a rounded mouth (a sign of surprise).

The second step is defining your subjects: who will you be experimenting on. My subjects were all guys between 18 and 29 years old (estimated age), who were sitting, standing, or walking in a position to see my face and torso.

The third step is locating your data collection sites. I gathered most data on campus, since I'm there all day and there are a lot of twinks around, but I also used the YMCA, the gay-friendly coffee house, the straight bar downtown, and the jogging trail that leads to the ski lodge.

The last step is collecting and analyzing your data, using percent differences, chi squares, t-tests, or regressions. I used percent differences: what percentage of the subjects cruised?

Here are the results: my definitive list of the 12 Top Twink Turn-Ons, things that will get you noticed, cruised, and approached for hookups or dates.

1. Tight short sleeved shirts. This one is a no-brainer. When I was wearing a heavy winter coat, or even a leather jacket, cruising was limited. Tight shirt, it increased by 40%. Your pecs and biceps have to be on display.

2. Scruff. I never grow a full beard; it doesn't come in properly. I let the scruff grow out for a few days, then shave. For the first three days, as the scruff grows, the cruising increases. Then it tapers off.

3. Bright colors. Since I have a fair complexion, I usually wear dark colors to avoid a "washed-out" look. My wardrobe consists mostly of black, navy blue, and dark red. But on the few occasions that I've worn my bright red or orange shirts, the cruising increases significantly.

4. A business suit. I usually dress down, but a suit and tie, with its connotations of affluence and prestige, draws the eye.

5. Chest hair. When I was a kid, the Mean Boys made fun of kids who buttoned the top button of their shirts. I never do. But when I've accidentally unbuttoned two, displaying chest hair, cruising increases by about 30%.

6. Baldness. Sounds weird -- isn't baldness supposed to be a sign of lack of virility? But think of all the bald hunks on tv and in the movies -- Omar Shariff, Jean-Luc Picard. I am almost entirely bald on top -- there's just some scruff and stray hairs up there. When I let them grow out, cruising goes down. Shave them off -- pay dirt!

7. Morning. The cruising rate is much higher in the morning, when the twinks are just waking up, than later in the day. I don't know why.

8. A Smile. In gay bars, the standard cruising pose is a frown: you represent a passion that is dark, mysterious, and dangerous, not lighthearted and frivolous. But in the straight world, cruising is all about accessibility, and a smile makes you more accessible.

The full list, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood

If you haven't watched the doddering Modern Family for awhile, prepare yourself for a shock. Remember this kid?

He's grown a bit.

Back in September 2009, when Modern Family premiered, I was living in Upstate New York and just starting to date Troy. And Nolan Gould, who played Luke, youngest grandson in the extended Pritchett family, was just shy of 11 years old (born on October 28, 1998).

I watched regularly for a few years, although I disliked the gay couple, Luke's uncles Mitchell and Cam (aka Swishy and Swishier).

There wasn't even any beefcake to distract from the misogyny, casual racism, and minstrel-show antics of Swishy and Swishier.

I noticed that Luke was becoming stupider and stupider -- every sitcom needs a dumb bunny -- in spite of the brilliance of Nolan himself, who is a member of MENSA and graduated from high school at age 13.

But I never suspected that he was going to turn into the hunk of the show.

In "The Feud," which aired on February 26, 2014, and was probably filmed a few months before, Luke goes out for wrestling. Nolan is 15 years old but looks only barely pubescent, with long, stringy muscles.

In "Australia," which aired on April 23rd, 2014, Luke goes surfing. He seems to have more of a chest, but not much more.

I don't know what episode this is, but it was uploaded to the Teen Idols gallery on June 15, 2015. A little tighter in the chest and shoulders, but Nolan still looks more like a boy than a man.

Here Nolan is on vacation in the Bahamas in April 2016, just after wrapping up the seventh season of Modern Family. He's 17 years old, getting some nice abs.

But look what happened in "The Alliance," which aired on November 30th, 2016: An aging cougar puts the moves on the oblivious, barely-legal Luke. Grandpa Jay rushes to the rescue. Luke answers the door shirtless.

Nolan was just over 18.

Impressive biceps and quads, some chest definition, the beginning of a six-pack in the abs.

I can't wait to see how much he bulks up at ages 19, 20, 21...

You remember bucolic small-town Riverdale? It's been a wholesome, innocent childhood haven for generations. You can return after a year, or two years, or a decade, and still find Archie Andrews and his pals and gals (Betty, Veronica, Reggie, Jughead) failing algebra, hanging out at the soda shop, deciding who to ask to the big dance, with only occasional references to contemporary teen fads, and virtually no incursions of the angst, heartache, and turmoil of real teen life.

Recently there have been some experiments with adult themes, like a zombie apocalypse in Riverdale, or an adult Archie killed while saving his friend Kevin from an assassination attempt. But the new Riverdale TV series. WTF?

It's Dawson's Creek, Pretty Little Liars, Revenge, Twin Peaks, Peyton Place, and a whole lot more. Sex, sleaze, dark secrets, and a lot of angst.

Archie (KJ Apa, above) is juggling the affections of Betty and Veronica (Lili Reinhart, Camila Mendes), as usual, but he's also having a clandestine affair with his teacher, Ms. Grundy (Sarah Habel), who is not what she seems.

Chuck Clayton (Jordan Calloway, left) and his football-team friends slut-shame Veronica, so the girls torture him in a hot tub until he apologizes.

Meanwhile, Veronica's father is being indicted for embezzlement, and her mother is having an affair.

Jughead (Cole Sprouse) is estranged from his father, the leader of the Southside Serpents, a notorious motorcycle gang. He's writing a turgid novel with lines like: "Innocent/guilty, good/ evil, life/ death."

Kevin (Casey Cott) is dating bad boy Joaquin (Rob Raco, left), a member of said motorcycle gang, plus fooling around with bisexual good guy Moose (Cody Kearsley), who has anger issues. This won't end well.

And what about Archie's Mom, who returns after a long absence and has a mysterious meeting with her old friends, Veronica's mom and Mayor McCoy (Robin Givens), whose daughter is the lead singer of the pop group Josie and the Pussycats, who Archie...well, never mind.

And I haven't even gotten to Reggie (Ross Butler) and Dilton (Major Curda).

But the big mystery is the murder of Jason Blossom (Trevor Stines left), brother of It-Girl Cheryl Blossom.
Kevin and Moose discovered the body.

Archie, Ms. Grundy, and Dilton heard a gunshot.

Everyone seems to have a dark secret about what happened that night. Everyone is a suspect.

Angst.

At least there's a lot of diversity. Black, Hispanic, and Asian characters. Gay and bisexual characters. Jughead might even come out as asexual, as he does in the current comic version.

And there's a lot of beefcake. The younger Riverdalians are played by the most buffed mega-hunks that can squeeze into tight jeans, and there are some recognizeable heartthrobs of yesteryear among the older generation (Luke Perry, Skeet Ulrich, Lochlyn Munro). Even Mr. Weatherbee is played by the hunky Peter James Bryant.

But how does any of this relate to the Archie comics that we grew up with?

Where's bucolic, small-town Riverdale?

Where's the fun?

I'm being forced to watch Scrubs (2001-2010), about medical interns at Sacred Heart Hospital, told from the point of view of nebbish medical intern J.D. (Zach Braff). The rest of the main cast consist of two other interns (his best buddy and on-off girlfriend), two established doctors, and some nurses.

I usually keep my eyes on a book or computer screen, to avoid the gross medical procedures, people dying, the world's most annoying characters, and jaw-droppingly bad plotlines.

The one I saw last night had doctors actually disapproving of exercise! Turk (Donald Faison) worries that he's getting a little pudgy from sitting on the couch every night, eating donuts with his girlfriend, so he begins to work out. But then he realizes that guys who exercise, notably Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley), are pathetic losers who have no lives. At the end of the episode, he "comes to his senses," abandons his exercise program, and returns to the couch to each donuts with his girlfriend.

That's right -- a medical program disapproves of exercise but approves of eating donuts!

But there is ample beefcake. J.D. and Turk are shirtless more often than not, and there's a constant stream of hunky patients. Some of them even live through the episode.

Here are the top 10 hunks of the first half of the series (Seasons 1-4), arranged in order of seriousness of their disease.

1. Sean Kelley (Scott Foley, top photo). Irregular heartbeat. Turns out to be a false alarm.

2. Will Forte (John Ducey). Tested for lung cancer. Turns out to be negative.

3. Will Quinn (Michael Hagerty, left). We don't learn what's wrong with him, but he makes Turk uncomfortable because he's gay.

4. Mr. Foster (Ron Ostrow), who drove his golf cart into a tree.

5. Mike (Jason-Shane Scott, left), who wrapped his car around a telephone poll.

6. Sam Thompson (Alexander Chaplin), a drug addict.

7. Ben Sullivan (Brendan Fraser, left). Leukemia. Survives.

8. Unnamed Patient (Paul Connor). Coma, brain dead for two months, but wakes up in a Christmas miracle.

9. David Morrison (Travis Wester, left). Comes into the hospital with a hernia, but they find cancer. Dies.

10. Jack Moyer (Adam Harrington). Went into a coma just before his wedding. Dies.

Jamaica, New York, February 2000

In the spring of 2000, I was living in the East Village, taking classes at Long Island University (two hours away) and teaching as an adjunct at Hofstra University (1 1/2 hours away), which took a little logistic planning. Sometimes I spent the night with Yuri or a date to avoid going all the way back into Manhattan.

That Thursday was one of my long days: up at 6, classes at LIU, teaching at LIU, gym, an hour train trip from LIU to Hofstra, teaching a three hour night class, and then an 1 1/2 hour train trip back to Manhattan.,

By the time I got on the campus shuttle to the Hofstra train station at 9:30 pm, I was exhausted, and not looking forward to the next 1 1/2 hours.

Standing on the platform on a cold, snowy February night didn't help matters.

I wanted to doze or read. I was in no mood for cruising or small talk.

No matter how cute the guy was.

So when Mason got on the train with me, I was not pleased. He was one of the nondescript students in my introductory class last semester: a freshman, tall and thin, pale, with thick brown hair, glasses, a sharp nose, a weak chin, and acne. Sort of cute, in a fresh-faced innocent way, but nothing spectacular.

He plopped down across from me and didn't say anything. I saw a sizeable basket that I hadn't noticed in class. Bratwurst, at least.

"Hi, Mason!" I said with my best smile.

"Hi, Mr. Davis," he said politely. "Where you headed?"

"Penn Station. "You?"

"Hey, me too! I'm going to meet some friends at the Tunnel. I've never been there before."

A mixed gay-straight club on 12th Avenue, a few blocks from Penn Station. Could Mason be gay?

He moved over next to me and started describing the club and his friends. A few follow-up questions should reveal if Mason was gay or not.

But I didn't get anywhere. Mason may be gay, but he wasn't open about it, and he wasn't cruising me. I was too tired to press the issue, basket or not.

Another hour, with a change of trains at Jamaica Station and a short subway ride, and I'd be home in the East Village, where there were plenty of open, active gay guys around, most with sizeable baskets.

As we chatted, I found myself ignoring Mason to gaze out the window at the thick-falling snow. It was coming down hard. I wasn't worrried - trains can plow through anything.

At a little after 10:30, we stopped at Jamaica Station to catch the train to Penn. Usually it was a five minute wait, or less. But tonight, as we stood shivering on the platform for five, ten, fifteen minutes...

Could we have missed it? It only came once an hour after 10:00 pm.

And the snow kept falling.

Just my luck. Waiting on a freezing train station platform in the middle of the night with a nondescript, straight student.

The full story, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Fleetwood Mac was big when I was in high school, especially during my junior year, 1976-77, when I discovered what "gay" meant and started dating Verne, the preacher's son.

I wasn't a fan. Their songs were all about girls:

"Rhiannon":
Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night
And wouldn't you love to love her?
Takes to the sky like a bird in flight
And who will be her lover?

"Dreams":
Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say women they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know, you'll know

Plus they were heterosexual. Mick Fleetwood and Lindsey Buckingham were both dating Stevie Nicks.

I only liked guys who liked guys, like Shaun Cassidy.

Then, in January 1977, "Go Your Own Way" started playing on KSTT Radio.

You can go your own way, go your own way.
You can call it thunder, all the way.

It seemed like they were talking to me personally, telling me that it was ok to break away, follow your own path, and "call it thunder."

I "called it thunder" when I decided to go to college instead of taking a job in the factory, like my parents expected.

When I figured "it" out the summer after my high school graduation: we stop the fight right now, we got to be who we are.

When I rejected the "wife and kids" destiny everyone had plotted out for me, and found the freedom to love.

When I abandoned the Midwest for California.

When I decided to go back to graduate school and get a Ph.D.

You can go your own way, go your own way.
You can call it thunder, all the way.

Whenever I hear the song today, it sends me back to my junior year at Rocky High, when everything was fresh and new and full of promise, when you could "go your own way" and "call it thunder."

Last night I heard the song at the gym, on the Classic Rock station they play in the free weight room. I decided to do a blog post on the song that meant so much to me long ago. So I looked up the lyrics online:

You can go your own way, go your own way.
You can call it another lonely day.

Another lonely day? WTF?

It's not an anthem to self-awareness at all! It's about breaking up with a lover, who is now packing up and going away, so it's "another lonely day."

For 40 years, I've been hearing the lyrics wrong.

Well, back to Shaun Cassidy.

I have come to the conclusion that almost all guys under age 30 are into bondage. Maybe not in gay neighborhoods, where S&M masters are readily available, but out here on the Plains, hinting that you might like to tie them up is like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey: they'll follow you anywhere.

Of course, they're nervous. They've never given up control before. But they're intrigued -- and enthusiastic. The sooner you can set up a scene, the better.

Even if you're not into bondage and domination play, a tied up twink is pleasant for "vanilla sex."

There are 8 steps to a successful BDSM scene.

1. Prepare the Bottom

I prefer my bottoms, also called "subs" or "boys," to be young and thin, but any age and size is fine.

Never suggest a scene for a first date or hookup.

All BDSM play involves dominance and force, so it's important to have a verbal contract in advance. Agree on which acts will or might occur. Arrange for a safe word for him to use if he wants an activity to stop.

No, there is no one who is "into everything." He has to specify what he definitely wants to happen, what he is ok with, and what he definitely doesn't want to happen.

2. Set Up the Space

If you don't have a separate room set up as a dungeon, any room will work. I use my regular bedroom, but remove the usual paraphernalia, put dark drapes on the windows, black sheets on the bed, and my equipment laid out on the dresser. Some sinister-looking artwork, gargoyles and such.

Loud music is essential to drown out the other sounds. A classical symphony sounds majestic, or you can go with heavy metal: I like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Marilyn Manson,

3. Shift from Regular Time to the Scene

After the preliminaries -- the small talk, the drinks, the bathroom break, some kissing and fondling -- the scene begins.

I always tell the bottom that the scene begins when I put on my leather vest, and ends when I take it off. During that period, neither of us have names. I will not speak to him except to issue commands, and he is not permitted to speak except his safe word, "Yes, sir," and "No, sir,"

I then go into the other room, take off my shirt, put on my leather vest, and return. I order the bottom to strip and kneel with his hands behind his back.

Then we're ready for the scene to begin.

The full story, with nude photos and sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

During World War II, Forrester Dorlac moved from Missouri to Los Angeles with his parents. He went out for gymnastics, and used to work out on Muscle Beach in Santa Monica with the other bodybuilders. A lot of gay men used to come down to watch -- Forrester was straight, but he loved the attention -- and one day in 1946, Bob Mizner invited the 16-year old to his mother's house in downtown Los Angeles for a photo shoot. It was fun to put on a skimpy posing strap, and recreate the poses of a classical Greek statue. And it was gratifying to realize that guys found him attractive.

Forrester returned again and again for 15 photo shoots during the next 14 years, using the stage name Forrester Millard. Bob sold the photos by mail order through his company, the Athletic Model Guild, and, beginning in 1951, Physique Pictorial, the first magazine aimed at a gay male audience (although it claimed to be for fitness enthusiasts).

He also appeared in a Mizner film.

Branching out, Forrester became the "mascot" for the Table of Contents of Tomorrow's Man beginning in 1954.

Mizner photographed thousands of men, including professional bodybuilders Ed Fury and Chris Dickerson, and film and tv stars like Sammy Jackson, Glenn Corbett, and Nick Adams, but he loved returning to Forrester, his first, and favorite, model.

In 1958, Forrester posed with John Tristram for several openly homoerotic scenes, giving many gay men their first glimpse of same-sex desire and romance. They were reprinted frequently during the 1960s,

In 1960 Forrester left Los Angeles and retired from modeling. Eventually he married Barbara, and they had a son, Forrester Jr. They lived in Rochester, Washington, near Olympia, for thirty years.

In 2009, Dennis Bell, head of the Bob Mizner Foundation, sought Forrester out for an interview. He was surprised that he was still remembered, and gratified that he had a profound impact on gay culture, helping thousands of men come out. He agreed to recreate some of his classic poses.

He died in 2011.

There are nude photos on Tales of West Hollywood.

I've been on college campuses, as a student or a teacher, almost every year of my life, so spring break is always a big deal.

A week off in March or early April, actually ten days if you skip the Friday befor (which everyone does), when plane flights are still cheap.and tourist destinations uncrowded!

Here are 12 memorable spring breaks, crowded with sightseeing and cruising.

1979: Chicago. It was my freshman year of college. Growing up in Rock Island, I'd been to Chicago many times, of course, but this time I had a goal: my friend Mary asked me to determine if her kid brother was gay. After spending the night with him, I reported to Mary that he was absolutely straight -- wink wink, nudge nudge.

1988: Pattaya, Thailand. When I was living in West Hollywood, my friend Alan moved to Thailand to start a gay Pentecostal church. He was sidetracked into an ex-gay cult, so I flew over to rescue him with a trip to Pattaya, the gay party capital of Southeast Asia.

1995: Washington, DC. To visit Alan and his partner Sandy, and put on a live sex show for him.

1998: San Francisco. I was in New York, getting my Ph.D. Yuri the Russian meteorology major had just come out, and wanted to see the heart of the heart of the gay world. So we flew to San Francisco, stayed with my friend David, and went cruising on Castro Street. Sharing, a bear party, underwear night, a hookup, and a drive down Lombard Street.

2000: West Hollywood. Home for a decade, but it was nice to be back for a visit. And I hooked up with a celebrity.

2005: Another Paris-Brussels-Amsterdam circuit, when I met the Dutch African at the Horseman's Club, and he brought me home as a "birthday present" for his brother.

The full post, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood

I'm being forced to watch the awful medical "comedy" Scrubs, which apparently lasted for 9 whole seasons. I usually keep my eyes on my computer screen or book to avoid the gross medical procedures, annoying characters, and jaw-droppingly horrible plotlines, just pausing to nod when my friend turns to me and asks "Isn't this the best show ever?"

The only redeeming feature is the beefcake. The male physique is on display far more often than the female.

The regular cast strips down constantly (this is Robert Mascio as The Todd, a surgeon horndog who drools, leers, and makes gross sexual propositions to every woman he sees, yet is not fired. At least he has a physique).

And there is a constant stream of musclemen in hospital gowns playing patients. They usually die, but still...

Here are the 10 hunkiest patients from the last half of Scrubs (Seasons 5-9), arranged in order of the seriousness of their disease.

1. Joseph (Tony Tambi). Appendectomy.

2. Roger Templeton (Tim Munday, left). Amnesia.

3. Alex Macrae (Peter Holden). Porphyria (a blood disorder, makes your pee purple).

4. Emery Redmond (Michael Mitchell, left), Mysterious burns.

5. Joe Hutnik (Kevin Rahm, left), Lyme Disease. I don't know what that is, but it sounds serious.

6. Tom Halford (Scott Rinker). Kidney transplant.

7. Brian Dancer (Michael Weston), brain damage, no short term memory.

8. John (Scott Holroyd, left). Breast cancer. The "comedy" involves the demasculation of a guy getting a disease that's "just for women," to the consternation of his macho brothers.

9. Eric McNair (Henry LeBlanc), paralyzed.

10. Cole Aaronson (Dave Franco). A medical student with skin cancer. Survives.

See also: The 10 Hunkiest Scrubs Patients, Part 1

When I was a kid, I loved Harvey Comics, especially Casper, Spooky, and Hot Stuff, the residents of the Enchanted Forest. Their pacifist nonconformity and buddy-bonding gave me some of my first hints of gay potential.

It didn't hurt that I usually read them while spending the night with my Cousin Buster in the trailer in the dark woods.

I also read Harvey Comics set in the real world, about kids with weird obsessions: Richie Rich, Little Lotta, Little Dot. They were evocative, but didn't provide the magic of the ghosts.

It never occurred to me, by the way, that the stories were supposed to be humor. Jokes detracted from my deadly serious quest to find a "good place," where boys could live together without being forced to express an interest in girls every five seconds.

The Harvey character style was instantly recognizable. Male or female, ghost or human, they were all drawn the same:

Disproportionately huge heads (especially when compared with real boys)

No necks.

Pear-shaped heads, large oval eyes with black pupils, pug noses, mouths curving downward a little lower than on a real person.

I was confused by some stories with a different character style: far less attractive: fat, dumpy, with a bigger head and bigger head and bigger eyes.

Eventually I realized that those stories were reprints from the 1950s and early 1960s. The house style changed abruptly in 1964.

There was a change in the plotlines, too. In the early stories, Casper and company visit mythological and fairy-tale creatures. The Milky Way is full of actual milk, and the sun is a sentient being.

Later stories are mostly realistic science fiction, with mad scientists and alien invaders. In 1972, Casper goes to the moon on the Apollo 16 (he was, in fact, the mission mascot).

The same thing happened to the human Harvey characters. In 1964, Richie Richie Rich became slimmer, with smaller eyes, and a smaller tie.

By the 1970s, he even had a muscular physique, and he had moved from humor stories to adventure, espionage, and science fiction.

Harvey Comics never divulged the writers or artists, so it wasn't until many years later that I discovered who was responsible for the change: Sid Jacobson who began working at Harvey in the 1950s, and became story editor in 1964. He tried to modernize the Harvey stories for the space-oriented 1960s.

Meanwhile Warren Kremer, the art editor, spearheaded a new, attractive, "hip" character style.

Ernie Colon, who joined Harvey in 1967, completed the transformation. He and Sid Jacobson collaborated on most of stories for the next 15 years, until Harvey stopped publishing comics in 1982.

When Harvey Comics folded, Colon moved to DC Comics, where he worked on such projects as Arak, Son of Thunder, Arion, Prince of Atlantis, and the graphic novel Ax.

He and Sid Jacobsen collaborated on several graphic novels, including, a history of the African-American experience, the story of Anne Frank, and The 9/11 Report: A Graphic Adaption.

Kremer moved on to Star Comics, where he created two new characters, Planet Terry and Royal Roy.

I don't know if any of them were gay, but they certainly helped some gay kids find meaning in the homophobic 1970s.

See also: Casper the Friendly Ghost; Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost; Lesbian Subtexts in the Harvey Girls; Richie Rich Joins a Gym.

In the fall of 1997, when I moved to New York to work on my Ph.D., you had four main tv choices on Monday nights: America's Funniest Home Videos, the hundredth series starring Bill Cosby, the uber-religious Seventh Heaven, and Suddenly Susan (1996-2000). Guess which won?

It was one of many workplace sitcoms about Young Female Journalists with Big Ideas who butt heads with stick-in-the-mud magazine or newspaper editors, in this case Susan (Brooke Shields, best known for Blue Lagoon nearly twenty years before) and Jack (Judd Nelson, the homophobic bigot best known from the execrable Breakfast Club nearly twenty years before).

Suddenly single after a long engagement, Susan is assigned to write a column about what it's like to be...um...single in contemporary San Francisco. But she, naturally, wants to do more. And, of course, she and Jack have a "You're so arrogant!" Sam-and-Diane romance going on.

Her main coworkers included:
1. Photographer Luis (Nestor Carbonell, top photo), a Latino hunk ("Today is the day I work on my biceps.")
2. Sardonic restaurant critic Vickie (gay-positive comedian Kathy Griffin, right)
3. Susan's arch-nemesis, tough-as-nails reporter Maddy (Andrea Bendewald).
4. Pete (Billy Stevenson), the mail boy.

5. Hip music reporter Todd (David Strickland, left).

Two things made Suddenly Susan memorable (excluding Nestor Carbonell's biceps).

1. On March 22, 1999, David Strickland committed suicide. Instead of replacing him without comment, the producers decided to incorporate his death into the series.

When Todd fails to report for work and doesn't respond to his pager, his coworkers spend the day searching for him and worrying. Finally they congregate in his apartment. The episode ends with the telephone ringing. Everyone looks around, afraid to answer, knowing what news is coming. It gave me goosebumps. Very effective.

2. Pete the Mail Boy. Although he appeared in only 15 of the 93 episodes, he was still memorable as just about the only gay character on television who wasn't portrayed as a swishy stereotype. In fact, he was dimwitted and rather a nerd.

When he married his boyfriend, the equally nerdish Hank (Fred Stoller, left), he talked the homophobic Jack into participating -- quite a memorable accomplishment for the 1990s.

See also: Just Shoot Me

Troy Hooks Up with 5 Guys in 24 Hours

The Stunt Kid

Wil Wheaton

The Milwaukee Museum of Beefcake

The Four Cassidy Brothers and the Gay-Friendly 1970s

My Hookup with Superman

A Homeless Teenager Invites Me Home

The Gay Hmong of Minnesota

The Top 12 Twink Turn-Ons

The Beefcake Explosion of Nolan Gould

Riverdale: Archie's Pals and Gals Face Angst and Dark Secrets

10 Hunkiest Scrubs Patients, Part 1

A Student Invites Me to Share His Bunk Bed

Call It Thunder: 40 Years of Fleetwood Mac

How to Tie Up Twinks

Forrest Millard, the First Gay Physique Model

12 Spring Break Boys

10 Hunkiest Scrubs Patients, Part 2

The Guys Who Made Harvey Comics Gay-Friendly

Suddenly Susan: Biceps, Brooke Shields, and Pete the Gay Mail Boy