The Top 10 Hunks of Qu*eerbaiting TV, Part 2: Unalive Pixies, an Irish Psychopath, a Kraken's body part, and a swishy straight guy

"It's not easy having a good time" -- Frank N Furter.

This photo collection has drawn the wrath of the Blogger censors, again for reasons that I can't understand at all. My only idea is that they think that qu*eerbaiting is a homophobic slur, or they object to saying that someone is unalive.

**Link to the n*de dudes**

1. Will Merrick. Unalive Pixies, a "new" Britcom on Hulu (actually 2019-21) is about three online gamers who struggle with life in the non-cyber world: the intensely heterosexual Meg; Usman, who mentions his wife every five seconds, and Nicki (Will Merrick), who never mentions girls or any heterosexual interest -- until Season 2, when he gets a girlfriend. A whole season of qu*eerbaiting.

And the series is actually called Unalive Pixels.

2. Richard Short (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

I still like gingers, queerbaiting or not, so I checked on Will Merrick's other work, and found The Night Passenger "Marty (Will) is going through a crisis and is hanging on by a thread. After discovering a man (Richard Short, top photo) tied up in his trunk things go from bad to worse. Worse being a psychopathic Irishman who joins Marty on a journey through the city of LA."

Doubtless the guy in the trunk becomes a buddy/lover, and helps Marty fight the psychopathic person. But all of the pictures on the IMDB show Marty having a heart-to-heart with a depressed looking woman.

3. Kyle Harris. I spent 30 minutes watching the "flashy girl from Flushing helps the cops" series High Potential, Episode 1.12, because the victim, "controversial" tech guy Anson Pierce (Kyle Harris), had a gay-coded little dog (unharmed) and a mother, but no wife or girlfriend. Obviously gay. But 30 minutes in, we learn that he was having secret trysts with a woman. Why keep it secret?

In other news, Officer Karadec has a blistering relationship with his "former partner," FBI Agent Hank (Joe Alvarez). I kept assuming that he meant romantic partner due to their sultry looks, married-couple arguments, and statements like "it's a lot more complicated than that" from coworkers who knew them back then. But nothing ever comes of it. The two don't even part with a hug.

Two gay teases in one episode.

4. An online celebrity site featured a shot of a guy with his d*ck out, probably prosthetic. He is Ian Stanley, playing The Kraken, maybe a sports star, on Episode 1.4 on of the medical drama The Pitt.

I hate medical dramas -- who wants to watch people turning unalive? -- but I fast-forwarded through Episode 1.4, with various patients turning unalive, being told that they won't be alive much longer, and having medical emergencies.

Finally we get to the Kraken. He's having a seizure, so four doctors and nurses hold him down while Whitaker (Gerran Howell) jabs him with an injection. And gets peed on, har har. We never even see the Kraken's face.

I guess that doesn't count as qu* eerbaiting. Maybe it's pe nis-baiting?

5. Taj Speights. The Kraken is supposed to appear in three episodes, so I fast-forwarded through Episode 1.5 of The Pitt. He's not there, but one scene features swishy, femme-voiced college guy Tag Speights, whom the doctors all know and love, dropping by.

After excessive hugging and everyone telling him how wonderful he is, the head doc asks "Are you looking for ROBBIE? " Must be his boyfriend.

"No. We were going to go to the jazz festival together, but I decided to ditch him and go with a friend instead."

"A friend!!!!! What's HER name???", they ask, high-fiving and congratulating each other, absurdly jublilant. He says "Leah."

Wait -- they can't be celebrating because they're so relieved to discover that he's straight -- they immediately assumed that the "friend" was a girl, not a boy? So if they already knew he was a femme straight guy, why the intense celebration?

Still, making him all femme and pretending that he had a boyfriend named Robbie is a blatant gay tease.

More after the break

6. Danny Pudi. When I reviewed the first episode of Going Dutch, a Fox series about a gung-ho army guy assigned to a laid-back military base in the Netherlands, I latched onto his swishy sycophant, Major Shah (Danny Pudi). Gay stereotyping to the max, plus he seemed to be flirting with the Muscular Private. So I went through every episode on fast-forward, looking for confirmation.

Finally, in Episode 1.7, his friends tell him "you need to have bedroom activities with someone" He agrees that it's been a long time: he's not into hooking up, he likes to "connect with someone." Well, maybe he can find "someone" at the party.

A lot of "someones," never "a woman." Dropping pronouns is absolute proof that he's gay.

At Minute 11, his friends announced that they found "someone" for him to have bedroom activities with, and point out a table occupied by two attractive men.

"I don't know -- I haven't approached a woman in a long time," he says. Psych -- they meant the next table, occupied by a woman.

A season full of qu*eerbaiting!

To rub it in, the tell him: "It's just human nature," emphasizing that every man is attracted to women, same-sex desire most emphatically does not exist.

I was so disgusted that I almost deleted my earlier review of Going Dutch. But it has pictures of the Muscular Private (sigh).

7. Unknown Adult Performer. This one took a bit of research. In the tradition of short British series about the fictionalized life of a comedian, Heading Out (2013) features Sara (Sue Perkins) struggling to come out to her parents before she turns 40.

I wanted to see if Steve Oram, who plays her gay best friend, had any n*de shots, and found Sightseers (2012); Chris (Steve Oram) takes his girlfriend Tina on a road trip, unalives a man for littering, another for being a published writer, and so on, until they finally agree that their holiday was lovely, and unalive themselves.

It sounds horrifying, but at least the second dog lives (the first dies). Auscaps promises "Steve Oram and Adult Performer n*de" in a scene where they invade a hen party (girls' night out). But there are no visible body parts in the scene, and the Adult Performer does not appear in the IMDB cast list.

8. Tanner Zagarino. The blurb of Aftermath (2024), on Netflix, tells us that a veteran with PTSD (Dylan Sprouse) is trapped with his little sister when a group of ex-military revolutionaries take over the bridge they are crossing. Terrible timing -- ten seconds later, and there would be no story.

It's an action/adventure movie, so now way will the Veteran be gay, but in the confined space of a bridge, there will be no opportunity to fall in love, and he must not have a wife or girlfriend, or she, not his sister, would be in the car with him. So...

Wait -- the trailer shows his wife or girlfriend being held hostage. Darn gay tease.

Tanner Zagarino (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) plays one of the revolutionaries. I figure you've already seen Dylan Sprouse's beneath-the-belt part.

9. Johnny Bloom. Less than Kind, on Amazon Prime, stars Jesse Camacho as an overweight outcast boy in modern Winnipeg. He's mooning over the Girl of His Dreams, of course, but according to the Season 1 episode synopses, his older brother starts an acting academy with his partner/buddy/something. Surely they're gay, right?

Nope, in Season 2 Older Brother gets two girlfriends.

Johnny Bloom? I don't know who he is, he just pops up on Google Images when you search for Benjamin Ayres (the brother's friend).

10. James Wilson. The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher -- dumb name, sounds like Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who, and Mrs. Which in A Wrinkle in Time. But it's not a fantasy, it's a tv series on the IMDB and three movies on Hulu, Victorian mysteries with Mr. Whicher (Paddy Considine) as a rather disagreeable private detective. In the first, he doesn't display any heterosexual interest and buddy bonds with his sidekick, Dolly (a guy). In the second, he has a wife, and he hasn't seen Dolly in five years. That's a remarkable bit of qu*eerbaiting.

In the second, Pickpocket Young Adult, played by James Wilson....