I heard that the Canadian sitcom Letterkenny was "quietly queer," with a variety of pansexual characters whose shenanigans were "no big deal." It's apparently about a small town where "there's not a lot going on," sort of like Corner Gas, except the dialogue goes extremely fast, and the accent is incomprehensible without subtitles.
Scene 1: Two hunks (Dylan Playfair, Andrew Herr, below)) drop off their girlfriend at a farm, where a fruit stand is staffed by the tall, stone-faced Wayne (Jared Keeso, left) and his friend.
Wayne's friend jokes that they are actually women. Ugh! Why is being like a woman an insult? What's wrong with women? They counter by "accusing" Wayne of being gay. Ugh! This is "quietly queer"? Only 30 seconds in, and I'm sick to my stomach.
They continue to insult Wayne, claiming that his girlfriend dumped him because he was too wimpy to fight. They take off their shirts to challenge him (sigh...I'd challenge them to something...).
But instead of fighting, he criticizes their threat-technique and treasure trails (line of hair leading from the belly to the crotch): "You look like a 12-year old Dutch girl." Why does having a treasure trail make you feminine? I don't get it.
Girlfriend returns, tells them to put their shirts back on, and they leave. She's dating them both?
Wayne breaks the fourth wall and tells us: "It's a hard life, pickin' stones and pullin' teats, but it sure beats fightin' fellas with treasure trails." I had to read that several times to figure out: he's given up professional fighting to become a farmer.
Scene 2: Wayne, his friend (Darryl), and the girl (Katy) at breakfast. They criticize Wayne's girlfriend, who dumped him: "she made you soft. You're not even fighting anymore." Then they suggest that he should rebound with "sex. With a girl."
He storms out. Katie suggests meeting someone on Tindr. If you like someone, you just say "On a scale of one to America, how free are you right now?" Huh?
The hunks arrive. Katie wants to know why Wayne hates them so much: "Because they would grab a monkey by the teat if they could." Huh?
Scene 3: Wayne, Daryl, Katy, and a hefty bearded guy (Squirly Dan?) at the produce stand. Squirly Dan tells a story about how they fought some dudes with a Confederate flag on their truck, and Dan got a taser on his nipple ring.
Scene 4: Daryl and Wayne go the bar and drink. While Wayne is in the bathroom, he runs into McMurray (Dan Petronjevic) Sigh! I'd challenge him to something...
McMurry criticizes the new boyfriend of Wayne's ex for being effeminate. I'm getting really tired of these retro "being like a woman is despicable" slurs. He makes a face to demonstrate how girly the guy is, but Wayne won't look over while they're at the urinal. He might see a man's penis and be traumatized for life!
Alexander comes in and stands at the urinal. He drops his pants to pee (nice butt!) McMurry criticizes his penis: "like a mushroom in a corn field."
Scene 5: Back in the bar, Daryl invites them to the Burning Bush Christian Youth Group, where he met his girlfriend, "a good Christian girl." They call him a pervert. For dating a Christian girl? Is he, like, too old for her?
Scene 6: Ontside the church where the youth group is meeting. Some Goth/vampires are dancing. Inside, Christian youth are mingling. Daryl's girlfriend tries basic soul-winning on Wayne, then sucks on his finger. (WTF?).
She criticizes his use of Tindr: "It was originally called Grindr! It was for gay men to sodomize each other! They snort drugs off each other's penises -- that have just been in their bums!" This is quietly queer? On a scale of 1 to America, I'd call it America-homophobic!
The preacher start the meeting: "Isn't God the best? There's almost no one I like more!" He insults his girlfriend. Then the Salty Treats perform. The Christian youth dance.
Wayne is depressed. He didn't realize that Tindr was for gays.
Scene 7: Wayne goes outside to "have a dart" (cigarette) and investigate, to see if Grindr really exists. The Goth/vampires, led by Stewart (Tyler Johnstone) notice and conclude that "you've been so agonized by women that you now prefer the company of men. Good for you for doubling down! Although I didn't peg you for a pipe fitter." At least they're only mildly homophobic.
"Who knew that he liked the chutney ferret? Knob jockey! Backdoor bandit!" Peals of laughter. "Rear admiral! Oklahomo!"
One of the Goth vampires states that he is gay, and doesn't like the barrage of homophobic slurs. Stewart says "We know, and we support you," but they continue the homophobic slurs until Wayne goes back inside.
Scene 8: Inside, the preacher is playing an Australin didjeridoo. Wayne notices that most of the boys are looking at muscular torsos on their phones. What the writers think that Grindr is like? So they're all gay, and coming to the youth group so they won't be pressured into sex with girls? Or is it just Wayne's fear that Tindr is for meeting men?
Scene 9: After the youth meeting. Wayne, Daryl, and his girlfriend at the bar. The Goth/vampires wonder what he's doing with "a fertile," when he is "gay." . The two hunks overhear, and start with the homophobic slurs; "Looking for love over the rainbow, Dorothy?"
Daryl's girlfriend believes them, and is shocked.
The new boyfriend of Wayne's ex comes in, so they turn their attention to calling him a girl: "What a skirt!" Wayne storms out.
This whole episode appears to be about calling Wayne gay so he'll get angry and start fighting again.
Scene 10: Outside, Wayne runs into his sister Katy, who tells him about the texts she's been getting all night. "Ur bro is GAY!!! Har-har!" Only four minutes to go! I can't take much more of this rabid homophobia!
She reminds him of occasions where she or Darryl was insulted, and he clobbered the offenders. Now he's suffering the worst insult a man can hear -- GAY!!! -- and he won't fight back? "I miss the old Wayne."
A drunk guy comes out to pee, and drops his pants (nice butt). The ex's new boyfriend -- Troy -- follows him to take a picture, then kick his butt. I guess to post the picture and humiliate him?
Wayne approaches. Troy insults him: "I stole your girl because you couldn't satisfy her,. I've fucked her a lot. I'll do it in front of you, if you like. Maybe your sister would like to join us."
That did it. Wayne grabs him by the dick and punches him in the face a lot., while Katy praises him for fighting again. Um...Troy is not fighting back. that's actually an assault.
Why no gay "accusations"? Maybe because Spencer Maybee (Troy) is a gay ally, and refused.
Scene 11: The hunks drop off Katy after another date, but this time they treat Wayne with respect. The end.
Beefcake: Lots.
Gay Characters: One of the Goth/vampires
Sexism: Women are objects. The preacher actually refers to his girlfriend as "it." Being called a woman is the worst possible insult.
Homophobia. Wait -- no, beijng called gay is the worst possible insult.
My Grade: I need a shower. Next I'll watch something a little more gay-friendly, like a Jerry Falwell sermon.