Yesterday I went through the "Movies We Think You'll Like" list on Amazon Prime, searching for something that wasn't about a boy and a girl falling in love. One or two out of fifteen -- not bad. Today it's Netflix's turn.
1.Black Island. "The dark secrets of a seemingly peaceful island threaten to swallow up an orphaned student when he grows closer to a mysterious new teacher." A cute guy on the icon, and maybe the teacher is male. Whoops, the trailer is 99% him kissing a girl!
2. Walk of Shame. "After a night of boozy carousisng, a newscaster finds herself stranded on the streets of L.A." It's a comedy: everyone she thinks is dangerous turns out to be helpful. I imagine she'll fall in love with James Marsden, who gets second billing. But maybe.
3. Everything will be Fine. Muscleman on the icon, but: "A separated couple live together for their child's sake." Next!
4. The Defeated. In 1946 Berlin, an American cop (Taylor Kitsch) stumbles upon dark secrets, political intrigues, yada yada yada...partnered with a German cop. Guess the gender of the German cop, with whom he will no doubt have some Mulder-Scully "will they or won't they" romances.. Next!
5. Sweet Girl."He lost the love of his life to a pharmaceutical company's greed. Now his daughter... Next!
6. Man in Love: Man (Roy Chiu) falls in love with a woman caring for her aging father. Isn't this the backside of a movie I read about yesterday on Amazon: Woman caring for her aging father falls in love with a man?
7. Becket. Samuel Becket the absurdist writer, or Thomas Becket, the Archbishop of Canterbury? Neither. This Becket is an American tourist in Greece (John David Washington) who stumbles upon dark secrets, political intrigues, yada yada yada. No woman on the icon or mentioned in the blurb. Maybe.
Wait -- the trailer is 10% establishing shots of Greece, 10% chases and explosions, and 80% Becket kissing, hugging, and holding hands with a woman. Next!
8. Hit and Run. "A man searching for the truth behind his wife's death..." Next!
9. Valeria. The icon shows a redheaded woman eating pasta and looking quirky. In the trailer, she is about to masturbate when a man comes to the door. She's a writer with writer's block and marital problems, who seeks the help of her three best friends. All women. Maybe one is a lesbian, but I'm not sticking around to find out.
10. I Need Romance. Man and woman hugging on the icon. Next!
11. My Girl. Macaulay Culkin as a little boy who falls in love with a dying girl. Strangely, it is marked as "feel good." How can a movie about someone dying ever be "feel good"?
12. Sweet Tooth. A post-Apocalyptic world where some people have mutated into half-animals. I can't watch because the opening shot of a half-human half-animal baby in its nurse's arms makes me nauseous.
13. A Letter for the King. Tiuri (Amir Wilson), a young knight-in-training (um...the word is "squire") goes on an "epic quest" to save his kingdom. Sounds hackneyed, but maybe there's some buddy-bonding with his quest companions. Wait -- in Episode 2, he hooks up with his "love interest" Lavinia, who becomes his only companion for the rest of the quest. Next!
14. IP Man: The Finale. Why did Netflix recommend the last movie in a series? IP Man (Donnie Yen) and his son go to San Francisco to see his star pupil, martial-arts legend Bruce Lee (Danny Kwok-Kwan Chen). No boy-girl romance is mentioned in the plot synopsis. Maybe.
15. The Chair. Ji Woon (Sandra Oh) becomes the first woman of color to chair the English Department at a prestigious university. I get enough faculty politics on the job! Besides, one of the faculty members is a guy with a cliche dead wife. Next!
0 of the 15 movies and tv series have gay characters mentioned in plot synopses. Back to Amazon Prime!