Toon (pronounced "tone") is a Dutch dark comedy about a painfully shy jingle-writer (Joep Vermolen) who becomes an internet sensation when he picks up a guitar during his birthday party and sings "I Don't Want to Be Here."Unfortunately, it is also the contemporary slang term for "cartoon," making internet searches impossible.
Episode #1: Toon is insulted by his bosses, Robbie and Dylan (Robbert Bleij, Arend Branleight). Later, he is walking down the street when a man says hello. He does a double take. Obviously gay!
At his birthday party, a woman flirts with him, and he looks bored and tries to get away. Obviously gay!
But I'm not going to be fooled again. I'm sampling several episodes to see if Toon really is canonically gay, or it's just a tease to draw in viewers.
Episode #6: Toon and Nina (the girl who flirted with him,now his video partner) are roped into taking part in a charity fundraiser. Toon's roommate moves out: "It's been fun,but..." Toon is heartbroken.
Wait -- roommate or lover?
Episode #8: Season finale. No references to boys or girls.
Well, on to Season #2:
Wait -- does that mean he's gay, or that he's straight and doesn't get a lot of girls?
Later, Jurriann invites Toon into a contest to see who will go home with Becky, the newscaster who covered their game. He goes to tell Becky what they are up to, and she suggests that he pretend to pick her up. He has no idea how to flirt with girls, so she explains how.
No idea how to flirt with girls? Gay!
Or...is he so "socially inept" that he likes girls but doesn't know how to talk to them.
Episode #6: Toon and Becky are living together as roommates, although sometimes she flirts with him to give the gossip vlogs something to talk about. He helps throw a bachelor party for Dylan, apparently now his manager, who says a lot about the importance of friendship, soul-mates, and then kisses him. Then he vanishes into the bathroom, and Toon leaves.
The third member of their party is Robbie, dressed like a pink fairy. I don't know why.
Ok, is Dylan gay , or gay and closeted, or...and is Toon....
The series finale. Toon, this is your last chance!
He and a girl arrive at a hotel room. Toon hugs their chaffeur. What's up with that?
Apparently the meeting is just for show: they are sitting on different beds, talking about how loud the music is in the next room.
And then...and then...Toon talks about how much he loves her. Then they kiss.
It took 16 episodes, but Toon has finally been outed as straight.
Are there really men like that, who are heterosexual but shy about talking to girls?
They should have heterosexual cruise bars. You don't need to say anything -- just make eye contact or give attitude.