"No Good Nick": A World without Heterosexuals

Kamala Epstein played a gay kid on The Fosters, so naturally I was going to watch his new Netflix sitcom, No Good Nick (2019-) Even though it also stars former Sabrina the Teenage Witch Melissa Joan Hart, who is a conservative Christian and reputedly homophobic.

The premise: Nick is a 13-year old girl (Siena Adugong) who shows up on the doorstep of a nuclear family claiming to be a long-lost relative.  Mom and Dad (Sean Astin,  Melissa) immediately drop everything and welcome Nick into the family, and their 13-year old daughter Molly is delighted at the prospect of a new sister, but 15-year old Jeremy (Kamala) is suspicious.

And for good reason.  Nick is a con artist, running various scams for her foster parents (Molly Hagen, Ted McGinley).  But she's also scamming them, saving the big score for her father (Eddie McClintock), who is in prison. Dad, in turn, has a secret agenda of his own, so basically it's scammers all the way down.

As I began watching, I noticed something unusual about Jeremy.  Most teenage boys on sitcoms talk like this:  "Good morning, Mom. Girls!  Good morning, Dad. Girls!  What's for breakfast?  Girls!  I have a test in school today. Girls!  It will help me get girls. Girls!"

Jeremy doesn't mention Girls, doesn't gaze at the It-Girl from across the hall, doesn't scheme to meet any or win any.  Nothing.  Not a glimmer of heterosexual interest.    His main plot arc involves running for Student Council President against the ultra-popular Lisa Hadad (transgender actress Josie Totah), who also doesn't have any hetero-romantic interests.  Or same-sex interests, for that matter.

Ultra-popular, but no boyfriend or girlfriend?  What kind of high school is this?

I went through every episode, and discovered something amazing. No one in this series displays any romantic or erotic interest of any sort.  Not even the two married couples.

Everyone arrives at the school dance alone.

A same-sex pair is featured in Mom's restaurant, but they look like business associates rather than romantic partners.

Jeremy has an enormous assistant/enforcer (Alex Poncio, left) who calls him "Boss."  No gay subtext.

Nick's fellow scammer Omar (Gavin Lewis) is surely a "dreamy boy," but no girl or boy swoons over him.

Erotic and romantic desire simply do not exist in this world.  There is familial affection and friendship, period.

This is so completely different from every other sitcom involving teenagers that it must surely be a deliberate artistic decision.

The creators are Keetgi Kogan and David H. Steinberg, whose othe credits include Grandaddy Day Care, Bigger Fatter Liar, Phys Ed, Miss Dial, Barely Legal, Slackers, and American Pie 2.  Some of those have minimal romantic interest, but some are about sex.



Gay characters:  Maybe Jeremy is gay, but they just haven't gotten around to giving him a love interest yet.  Or maybe no gay people or heterosexuals exist in this world.

Beefcake:  Not a lot.  I found Jeffrey James Lipold playing Phil, a self-defense instructor.