The 14 Most Unusual High School Names

Speaking of high schools with unusual names, Orlando, Florida wins the prize.  It must have something to do with all those theme parks.

Some of them are among the best in the U.S., and some are among the very worst.  Florida has a "charter school" program, which means that anyone can get money from the state to start a private school with no library, labs, or for that matter teachers.

My goal is to find out a) Where the weird names came from; and b) Which has beefcake potential.


1. Acceleration Academy, a public school with a technological focus. 99% of the students qualify for free lunch.  It ranked in the bottom 25% of Florida high schools.

Cool mural, but are those students sitting at picnic tables?

No sports.




2. Apopka.  Named after the town, based on a Seminole word for "Potato Eating."  Its sports team is called the Blue Darters.  I'm not sure what these football players intend by displaying their singularly unappealing middles and pretending to eat medals.











3. Celebration, in Kissimmee.  Maybe named because it's on Celebration Street, or vice versa. Highly prestigious, with 40% of the students enrolled in Advanced Placement.  Its main claim to fame is the International Baccalaureate, something like the A-Level in Britain, where you graduate from high school with credit for most of your college general education courses. 

It offers swimming, tennis, volleyball, track and field, weightlifting, and junior ROTC.

4. Chancery.  Sounds like an elite private school in Britain, but it's actually a chance to "start your life" for 16-21 year olds who don't like a traditional classroom environment.  AKA one of those storefront "sit at the computer and ensure the city gets its money" sausage factories.  No sports.


5. Dr. Phillips, named after the Dr Phillips neighborhood, which is named after Dr. Phillip Phillips (say that three times fast), a "citrus magnate."

Pity the poor kids who go to school across the street from the Universal Studios theme park (more specifically the Jurassic Park area and Kong: Skull Island.)

It has wrestling, water polo, tennis, golf, and swimming.






6. Freedom High School, public, established in 2003.  Named "Freedom" as a memorial to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It offers a Montecello Scholar Academy, which intends to "challenge the status quo of the International Baccalaureate."  Watch out, Celebration.  Sports include volleyball, lacrosse, wrestling, water polo, weightlifting, and Special Olympics.

More after the break




















7. Ibn Seena Academy.  One of the few Islamic high schools in the U.S., "re-introducing the love and light of the Qur'an, one student at a time."  It admits students of all races, religions, and genders (not sexual orientations).  You can major in Qur'an Studies or Secular Studies.

I don't think they offer sports, but they definitely serve snacks.











8. Lake Nona, on Narcoossee Road (which I bet is shortened to Narc Road). Very high rate of AP students; 50% go on to college.  If you'd like to know what the AP classes are reading this summer:
AP European History: Spare Me the Details: A Short History of Western Civilization
AP English: How Starbucks Saved My Life.
AP Literature: The Handmaid's Tale

They offer wrestling, swimming, bowling, color guard, and golf.

9. Lighthouse.  Its motto: "Education is to the mind what light is to the mind."  Huh?  Founded in 2003 by Dr. Ted Ridore, who has dedicated his life to teaching people the Word of God.  He's also the author of 11 books "yet to be published."

Another of those charter school things, no doubt.

10. Maynard Evans, opened in 1958, named after the owner of a drug store in downtown Orlando.  84% black, with the largest proportion of Haitian students in the area (there are 4,000 Haitians in Orlando, many of whom face deportation under Trump's new immigration policy)

11. Ocoee.  Its symbol is a knight, a "protector that guards against forces that would cause the school to become dismantled and fold like its predecessor."

Wow, bummer.

12. Pine Castle Christian Academy.  No castle, no pine trees, just a lot of fundamentalist instruction and the motto "one family.  one purpose." The only sports are girls' softball, girls' volleyball, and boys' and girls' soccer.











13. Sunshine (not religious, either).t's actually a chance to "finish school" for 16-21 year olds who don't like a traditional classroom environment.

AKA it's a storefront next to a liquor store where poor Hispanic kids sit in front of computer screens all day, and still count as students to get state money.






14. Windermere Prep.  It reminds me of the Oscar Wilde play "Lady Windermere's Fan," I figured ancient, respectable, ivy-covered walls.  Actually, it opened in 2000, and there's no ivy in sight.

But at least there are some cute weightlifters.
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