There are 12.8 million people in Illinois. 9.5 million of them live in the Chicago metro area, suburbs extending out from the Loop for 100 miles in every direction except east (where you hit Lake Michigan). They can be roughly divided into West (rich), Northwest (ultra-rich), South (poor), and Southeast (ultra-poor).
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Most don't have a lot of sightseeing to offer, or for that matter anything of special interest, so I'm going to check them out in alphabetical order. First up, Northwest and West
1. Aurora, in "Fundamentalist Central," the homophobic evangelical Christian corridor. I guess they have swimmers as well as fundamentalists (top photo).
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2. Berwyn. The source of ridicule on Chicago area radio stations.
"We have a caller from Berwyn."
Woh-woh.
"Berwyn?" I don't see what's so funny about Berwyn. It's named after a suburb of Philadelphia, which is in turn named after the Berwyn Hills of Wales. But listening to WOC on a Sunday night, you'd think that just saying the name was hilarious.
"I have a date tonight with someone from Berwyn."
Woh-woh.
"Berwyn?"3. Carol Stream, ranked 49th of the 100 best places to live in the U.S. There is no stream there; Carol was the daughter of town founder Jay Stream.
4. Crystal Lake. Isn't that where the guy in the hockey mask killed all those teenagers? Actually, there is a lake there, and a high school with a wrestling team.
5. Des Plaines. One of the biggest of Chicago's suburbs, with 53,000 people. Don't use the French pronunciation Not much there except the airport, but at least they have a crossfit.
More after the break.
6. Elk Grove Village. It's neither a grove nor a village, nor are there any elks around. It's home to the largest industrial park in North America. Sounds awful. Plus this personal trainer.
7. Mundelein. Mundelein College recruited heavily at my high school. It's for Roman Catholic girls. The town and college both were named after Cardinal George Mundelein. There are three Catholic schools in town.
8. Oak Park, one of the oldest and most prestigious of Chicago's suburbs, home to Frank Lloyd Wright, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ernest Hemingway, Bob Newhart, and Daws Butler (the voice of Yogi Bear and Huckleberry Hound).
9. Palatine, 68,000 people. It sounds like a region in Europe, but it's not. The Palatines were German immigrants to Britain from the Palatinate Electorate, and thence to America. It features William Fremd High School. Sounds like "friend" spelled wrong. I have no idea what this swimmer is doing.
10. Winnetka, the richest of Chicago's suburbs, with a median per capita income of $100,000. The film
Home Alone was set in Winnetka (which explains why a family of 8 can afford to go to Paris for the holidays).
See also:
Searching for Beefcake in Fundamentalist Central.
