Boys from Houses Made of Ticky-Tacky in Stevenson Ranch, California

West Ranch sounds like it's a town out in Wyoming or Montana, but it's actually a high school in California.

Located in the town of Stevenson Ranch!

Stevenson Ranch, population 17,000, is in the desert about 30 miles north of West Hollywood, right across the street from the California Institute of the Arts, and down the road from Six Flags Magic Mountain.  There was never anything ranch-like about it.  Or organic.  It's a planned community, incorporated in 1987.

3.1 square miles of winding suburban streets, most named after authors: "I'm at the corner of Poe Parkway and Thackery Lane.  If you come to Mallory Drive, you've gone too far."

How much do you want to bet that most residents have not read any of them?

Little houses made of ticky-tacky, and they all look the same.  Seriously, how do kids know which one is theirs?

Median income $122,000, comparable to Beverly Hills.

4002 heterosexual couples.  42 gay couples.

A central marketplace with identical stucco-style buildings: stores, banks, a restaurants, a fitness center.  No bars.  A Bible Church.

I guess the name Stepford was taken.

An elementary school, junior high, and high school all adjacent.  West Ranch High opened in 2004.

In 2009, the comedy Stay Cool was filmed there, with Mark Polish as a writer who returns to his old high school, and Sean Astin as a screaming queen named Big Girl.

Sounds horrifying.








Oh, well, maybe there's some beefcake among the West Ranch Wildcats (slogan: "We are all cats.")

The cross country team looks presentable.

















And the wrestling team.
















But the powerlifters seem to be all girls.

And no swimming.  For that, you have to go to Santa Clarita.