Scappoose is on the Columbia River about 20 miles north of Portland, Oregon. It has a good view of Mount St. Helens, about 40 miles away. There aren't many jobs, so most people live there and work in Portland.
Why not just move to Portland, which has one of the best gay communities in the U.S.?
If you're stuck in Scappoose for some reason, you have a few restaurant choices: Ichabods, Mike's on the Channel, and Simm Oriental Cuisine. For sightseeing, there's a pioneer museum and the 50-foot tall Peace Candle of the World, which lights up at night and looks sort of cool.
But your beefcake options are limited. Scappoose High School has a contest-winning swim team (top photo).
This looks like another contest-winning swim team. I like the kid wearing a British flag towel.
The wrestlers don't seem to be contest-winners. All of the data I found was about them losing to nearby schools.
Every week the local newspaper publishes photos of two "Athletes of the Week," a boy and a girl nominated by their coaches. I imagine they go through most of the team rosters by the end of the year.
This is the only Athlete of the Week I found with a substantial physique. I took his name off the certificate to protect his privacy, but I'm not sure that's relevant when he's been in the newspaper.
I also looked him up on Facebook. He graduated two years ago, and his friend list includes some beefcake buddies.
Three guys standing on their heads beside a river, while a bear walks by.
Two pale guys drinking beer in an Oregon summer.
And that's it. If you don't care for men who are still living with their parents and have a 9:00 curfew on Friday nights, all I found were these singularly non-buffed firefighters.
You'd better drive into Portland.
