Searching for Beefcake in the Nazarene Vatican City

I grew up in the Church of the Nazarene, a hardcore fundamentalist denomination: no movies, dancing, mixed swimming, alcohol, eating in restaurants that served alcohol, eating out on Sunday, working on Sunday, reading newspapers on Sunday, rock music, secular literature, circuses, carnivals, theater, fraternities, sororities, or premarital kissing. 

But who had time for any of that, with two-hour long services three times a week, plus Sunday school, Young Peoples' Society, missionary society, Pioneers (like boy scouts), choir, Bible study, prayer meetings, calling (on people who had missed church last Sunday), canvassing (door-to-door evangelization),  witnessing (trying to convert your friends), and jump quiz? 

Overland Park, Kansas was Nazarene Central, our Vatican City (though Nazarenes were intensely anti-Catholic, and would become irate if you called it that).  There, or in nearby suburbs, was our General Headquarters,  our Theological Seminary, and our Publishing House, plus a Nazarene college and about a hundred Nazarene churches.

Nazarenes were rare in Rock Island; I knew only three among the 2,000 students in my high school.  But in Overland Park, Kansas, we were told, they were everywhere.

Restaurants closed on Sundays due to lack of business.

The local newspaper didn't even print a Sunday edition. 

The local radio station didn't play rock music. 

There were no taverns or movie theaters.  It was the closest you could get to heaven on Earth!

That may have been hyperbolic.  There are theaters and taverns in Overland Park, Kansas, and Nazarenes are still in the minority.  But it's still Nazarene Central. 

Did I mention that the Nazarenes hated "homa-sekshuls"?  Around the mid-1970s, preachers began yelling that they were the depth of absolute evil, responsible for every social ill, from drugs to rock music to unmarried mothers, who couldn't be saved even if they repented.  Plus God kept punishing us for being too tolerant of them, with earthquaks, floods, hurricanes, and airplane crashes. 

So, in honor of the Nazarene horror of homa-sekshuls, here is some beefcake from Nazarene Central..

Overland Park has six high schools: Shawnee Mission Shawnee Mission North, South, East, Center, Northeast, and West.  Not a lot of originality there. There's also a Catholic school, Bishop Miege.













They all have active swim teams.















You're not supposed to go swimming when it's cloudy out.  You could get hit by lightning.










There's a lot of wrestling, too.












There are also five gyms in Overland Park that offer personal trainers.  This is Kevin Doss of the Hitch Fit Gym.
























I might prefer Kurtis McLellan to show me the proper bench pressing procedure.


There are also lots of men who submit shirtless photos to dating sites.