The Six Rules of Making Contact: From "Hello" to Hookup

After a career-full of closets and denials, Kevin Spacey has come out, in the worst way possible.  Apparently he was a modern-day Liberace, grabbing every guy in sight, gay or straight, adult or child, with no preliminaries, following only a single rule:

Do you find him attractive?
No: Move away
Yes: Shove your hand in his pants.

 Now the bigots will be screaming that all gay people are like that, grabbing without considering age or status or asking for consent. 

The mind reels.  How, in this day and age, is it possible for even the most closeted, in-denial, bi-curious, "discrete" fan of male beauty to not follow a few simple principles for moving from an introduction to a sexual liaison?  It's easy. 

1. Is he smiling as you talk to him?
No: Move away.
Yes: Go to #2.
















2. Is he at least 18 years old?
No: Move away.
Yes: Go to #3.
















3. Are you his supervisor, teacher, counselor, or other authority?
Yes: Move away.
No: Go to #4.















4. Are you in a gay bar or cruising area?
No: Go to #5.
Yes: Go to #6.

5. Make a statement that indicates that you're gay.  Does he respond positively?
No: Move away.
Yes: Go on to #6







6. Touch his arm or shoulder.  Does he respond positively, by smiling or touching you?
No: Move away.
Yes: Suggest a date or hookup.