Up until the fall of 1976, I had no idea that gay people existed. I knew about fairies, boys who had the audacity to pretend that they were girls (bad at sports, good at schoolwork), and swishes, monstrous beings who conflated masculine and feminine. But I never associated these beings with same-sex desire, behavior, or identity.
I figured it out during the fall of 1976, mostly through watching the fad of "relevant" sitcoms.
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September 29th: Alice dates an ex-football player (Denny Miller, a 1959 Tarzan), who tells her that he is gay (later he says "homosexual"). I didn't know what either word meant (I'd forgotten that I heard "homosexual" five years before, on an episode of Room 222). Alice hesitates about letting him take her adolescent son Tommy (Philip McKeon) on a camping trip. Why? What danger did she fear?
October 6th: in Rolling Stone, Elton John states that he is "bisexual," but doesn't explain what that means.
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October 9th: a new patient (Howard Hesseman, Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnati) joins Bob Newhart's therapy group, and the others are horrified to discover that he is gay. But what did "gay" mean?
November 1st: Phyllis dates a man (Edward Winter, Col. Flagg on MASH) who does not find her attractive. He tells her that he is gay. Wait -- gay men do not find women attractive?
November 10th: My civics class car-pooled down-town to the County Courthouse to see a real criminal trial in progress. The case was about a shooting that took place outside the Hawaiian Lounge, which we all knew was a fairy hangout. Sure enough, a swish was called to the witness stand: tall and gaunt, with long, greasy hair and mascara-ed eyes. He explained that he was parked across the street at the time, so he saw everything. The attorney wanted to know why he was parked in downtown Rock Island on a bitter cold January evening.
“We had just come from the Hawaiian Lounge, and we were deciding where to eat.”
“Who was in the car with you?” the attorney asked.
He named two men and a woman.
“Why was there a woman with them?” I whispered to my friend Darry. “Swishes hate women.”
“Maybe it was two of Them and a normal couple,” he whispered back. “Maybe it was two swishes on a double date!”
This made no sense. Swishes hated women, so how could they date. ..unless he meant. ..but they couldn't possibly date each other! They were both boys!
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November 14th: in the public library, researching prisons (for the same civics class), was leafing aimlessly through a book, when I happened upon a black and white photo (not this one). It took a long moment for me to comprehend what I was seeing; it simply didn't make sense. Two male prisoners were standing in front of a chain link fence, with their backs to the camera. Holding hands.
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I figured it out during the fall of 1976, mostly through watching the fad of "relevant" sitcoms.
September 29th: Alice dates an ex-football player (Denny Miller, a 1959 Tarzan), who tells her that he is gay (later he says "homosexual"). I didn't know what either word meant (I'd forgotten that I heard "homosexual" five years before, on an episode of Room 222). Alice hesitates about letting him take her adolescent son Tommy (Philip McKeon) on a camping trip. Why? What danger did she fear?
October 6th: in Rolling Stone, Elton John states that he is "bisexual," but doesn't explain what that means.
November 1st: Phyllis dates a man (Edward Winter, Col. Flagg on MASH) who does not find her attractive. He tells her that he is gay. Wait -- gay men do not find women attractive?
November 10th: My civics class car-pooled down-town to the County Courthouse to see a real criminal trial in progress. The case was about a shooting that took place outside the Hawaiian Lounge, which we all knew was a fairy hangout. Sure enough, a swish was called to the witness stand: tall and gaunt, with long, greasy hair and mascara-ed eyes. He explained that he was parked across the street at the time, so he saw everything. The attorney wanted to know why he was parked in downtown Rock Island on a bitter cold January evening.
“We had just come from the Hawaiian Lounge, and we were deciding where to eat.”
“Who was in the car with you?” the attorney asked.
He named two men and a woman.
“Why was there a woman with them?” I whispered to my friend Darry. “Swishes hate women.”
“Maybe it was two of Them and a normal couple,” he whispered back. “Maybe it was two swishes on a double date!”
This made no sense. Swishes hated women, so how could they date. ..unless he meant. ..but they couldn't possibly date each other! They were both boys!
I stared for a long time, thinking “No, this is impossible.” Only little kids, parents and children, and boyfriends and girlfriends held hands.. Men didn’t even touch each other’s hands. If their hands met by accident, they would jerk away, too disgusted for words.The caption talked about the “problem of homosexuals in prison.” I remembered homosexual from Alice. So fairies -- swishes -- homosexuals -- gays dated each other, held hands.
Suddenly embarrassed, as if I had been caught viewing pornography, I slammed the book shut. Darry looked up at me quizzically.
November 15th: Maude's husband (Bill Macy) dreams that he kissed a man, and worries that he might be gay. So gays not only dated and held hands: they kissed. Maybe they reached under frilly sweaters to feel each others' powdery marshmallow bodies. Maybe they even had sex.
But I still didn't connect gays holding hands with the boys holding hands among the candles in the Don Grady song. Or gays dating with my dates with boys. Or with Todd, who I spent the night with at music camp. I wouldn't make the connection for another year and a half, not until the summer of 1978.