Rock Island, December 1999I am in grad school in New York, visiting Rock Island and Indianapolis for the holidays, staying with my brother Kenny in his rundown, rambling house downtown. The house is crowded with Kenny's four kids, his new wife, and her three kids, plus a huge assortment of dogs, cats, hamsters, and parrots.
It's easy to miss Joel, Ken's youngest son, in the crowd: he's thirteen years old, short, slim, a quiet, polite Johnny Nazarene. But a talented singer: he's toured in Iowa, Minnesota, and Sweden with the Moline Boys' Choir. We go to their Christmas concert and hear his solo in "Come, O Come Emmanuel."
December 2000
Yuri and I are visiting Rock Island for the holidays. My family practices a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, so they don't know if we're friends or boyfriends or lovers. Most of them probably don't even know that we are gay. But Joel figures it out. Although he claims to be straight, he asked us to teach him and his friend Max "how gay guys have sex."
Yuri and I teach him about gay kissing.
August 2001
I've completed my Ph.D., and I'm visiting Rock Island for a few days just before moving to Florida. Joel is a cute 15 year old with short black hair, pale skin, and nicely rounded biceps. Nazarenes aren't allowed to listen to "the devil's music," basically anything with guitars, but he likes Weezer, Nickelback, and other groups that I never heard of, but sound loud.
Oddly, Ken doesn't forbid it. "It's his life," my brother says. "If he likes the devil's music, that's on him."
Joel asks why I didn't bring Yuri. "You guys are, like, hot together, aren't you?"
Ken glares at me, accusing me of outing myself to his son. "Boomer has a lot of friends, all kinds," he explains. "Black, white, Jewish, Muslim, gay, straight. He's so liberal, it hurts."
December 2001
Joel is a surly 15-year old, dressed all in black, who protests the "capitalist spending frenzy" of Christmas. He spends most of his time in the room he shares with his brothers, listening to metal music. He emerges to eat a bowl of Lucky Charms instead of Christmas dinner, and to ask "So, Uncle Gizmo, are the beach boys hot down in Florida? I bet you get tons of action."
In front of the whole family, including relatives I wasn't out to!
"Um...well, I do ok," I stammer.
Later I ask Kenny if Joel is gay.
"Nope, nope, nope!" Kenny exclaims. "He's totally hot for girls. He's got a little gay friend, but that doesn't mean a thing."
June 2003Maybe Kenny is angry about my accidental outing, or maybe he's just busy, but he doesn't invite me to Christmas in Rock Island in 2002. I don't visit again until June 2003.
Joel has just turned 17. He has long green hair, earrings, and a pierced lip. He gives me a hug and calls me "Beach Boy,"
He just got back from Hardcore Fest, where he heard Walls Of Jericho, Suicide Note, Saved By Grace, As We Speak, Provoke, How It Ends, Devastator, Preacher Gone To Texas, Blood In Blood Out, Too Pure To Die, For Death or Glory, Wings Of Scarlet, Uphold, Begin Again, King of Clubz, Pound for Pound, Undo Tomorrow, Haunted Life and Butt Lynt.
"Sounds like a great lineup," I tell him.
And naturally he's the lead vocalist in his own punk band, The Dead Eunuchs.
June 2004
Joel has a bright red mohawk, and his group, The Dead Eunuchs, have been performing all over the Quad Cities. Tonight they have a gig at the Rusty Nail in Davenport.
"You should come," Joel says. "We play a great set."
Well -- I'm not much for punk music in noisy heterosexual bars. "I don't think..."
"You'll like one of our songs. It's called 'My Uncle is Queer.'"
The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual language, is on Tales of West Hollywood.