In mid-December, just before classes end at Augustana, my ex-boyfriend Fred calls me from Omaha. "Are you free Christmas night?"
"Sure -- my family celebrates on Christmas Eve, so Christmas day is all down time."
"Great. I'm bringing my boyfriend Toby up to meet my parents -- the first guy I've ever brought home -- and I want you to come along for moral support."
Last summer, when I was 19 years old, I moved to Omaha with Fred, a recent seminary graduate who had just taken a job as a youth pastor. I hated every minute of it, and after five weeks escaped...um, I mean left and returned to Rock Island.
Within a week, Fred rebounded into the arms of another 19-year old college student: Toby Meyer, who was starting his sophomore year at the University of Nebraska. They moved in together after two dates. Fred introduced him at church as his "nephew."
If anyone in the church found this suspicious, there's no record of it.
"So you want your ex-boyfriend to help you introduce Toby to your family." I scoff-- I haven't seen Fred since our breakup, and now he wants me to hang out with his new boyfriend? That would be mega-weird!
"Are you up for it? Mom's a great cook. And, if it sweetens the deal, you can join me in bed. Just come into my room after everyone's asleep. I'd like to have you all night, but you know, I don't want to arouse suspicion."
That does sweeten the deal! Fred is enormously attractive. Besides, I've only been with one guy since our breakup, and that was a downlow thing after a screen date with some girls."Um...where are they going to put Toby?"
"Hopefully with me, but I can't be sure. They think we're just roommates, you know. I'm not out to anyone in my family."
The uncensored post, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.