It's my third date with Lane, the date you traditionally introduce him to your friends, so we're having dinner at my house with Raul, Will, my Celebrity ex-boyfriend, Fred and Matt...and my housemate Derek?
Derek and I are not close. We don't eat meals together, we rarely share each other's dates. We are invited to each other's parties by default, but we rarely attend.
So why is he here?
I'm worried that the former fitness model with the baseball bat between his legs will steal my new boyfriend before we even have a chance to seal the deal. It's happened before.
I serve barbecued chicken, baked potatoes, "roshineers," and tomatoes. Lane brings a salad, and Derek furnishes the desert.
After dinner we start talking about childhood crushes -- tv and movie stars you found dreamy, back in the day: Luke Halpin of Flipper, Desi Arnaz Jr., Barry Williams of The Brady Bunch.
Derek keeps silent. He's substantially older than the rest of us, so he probably doesn't want to call attention to his age by mentioning Ricky Nelson or...or Frank Sinatra.
"Incredibly hot!" Will exclaims. "Those eyes! That voice!"
"And so fey," Lane says. "It's obvious he's one of us."
We all nod in agreement.
"He's bi," Derek says suddenly. "But mostly into girls. Guys once in a blue moon. Pity...he's got a face that can break your heart."
"Do you...um...have firsthand knowledge of this bi thing?" I ask.
The rest of the story is on Tales of West Hollywood.