Displayers: guys who strip and then nonchalantly stop to chat, who wear their towel on their shoulders as they head for the showers, their beneath-the-belt gifts swinging between their legs for everyone to see.
Hiders: guys who turn their backs to change, wrap a towel around their waists, and shower in the stalls with curtains.
The displayers always have superlative beneath-the-belt gifts, while the hiders are almost always small, afraid of being judged or even sneered at by their peers. Especially in gay culture where bigger is better.
So when Keith joined Barney's Gym in Wilton Manors, and spent every moment in the locker room hiding behind a towel, we figured that he didn't have much down there.
So when Keith joined Barney's Gym in Wilton Manors, and spent every moment in the locker room hiding behind a towel, we figured that he didn't have much down there.
I was shocked when Yuri asked him out anyway.
"But you're the world's number one size queen!" I exclaimed. "You won't even look at a guy if he's less than a Mortadella!"
"That's not true. I was with lots of little guys."
"Sure -- one date apiece. Once you find out they're not packing, you send them packing."
"Wise guy!" He punched me in the shoulder. "But you don't know he's small. And look at how he's hot!"
I had to admit that Keith was exactly Yuri's type: early 40s, tall, balding, bearded, pleasantly muscular, with a hairy chest. Plus a sports nut, a former college football star who sometimes sat in the lounge watching this or that game.
"Anyway, he's out. After Jim, I can't stand closets anymore." Yuri had just broken up with Jim the Baseball Player, mostly over the issue of outness.
So Yuri and Keith went to some sort of sports match, then returned to the house to spend the night.
In the middle of the night I had to go past Yuri's room to get to the bathroom. The door was open to take advantage of the breeze. They were lying in each other's arms. Yuri was naked, but Keith was wearing boxers.
Wait -- he had sex, then put his underwear back on?
At breakfast in the morning, Keith told us that he had been in a monogamous relationship with his college boyfriend for 18 years, and only started dating when they broke up. He had never been to a bear party or a bath house, and never shared a boyfriend.
I wanted to ask, Is that why you're so shy about displaying yourself? But I kept mum.
"I'm anxious to try everything, though" he added with a grin.
I noticed that they were holding hands under the table. Apparently the date went well.
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They left at the same time, so I didn't get a chance to ask Yuri about Keith's beneath-the-belt gifts. I sent him an email, but he didn't respond. So that night I grabbed him the moment he walked in the door.
"Details!" I exclaimed. "Details!"
"What do you mean? We had a nice time. I will call Keith for another date tonight."
"And...."
He blushed a little, and looked away. "And...he likes to kiss. In bed he is a top."
"You know what I'm talking about, Mr. Size Queen!"
"Oh, that! Well -- there is something. I don't know if I can tell you."
Why was he being so mysterious? "We tell each other everything. Don't leave me in suspense -- just give me a number!"
"No, no. I don't know how to explain it. You should see." He headed toward his bedroom, then paused and turned back. "Ok, this is what we will do -- when I date Keith again, we will share."
I stared in surprise. "On the second date? Are you sure?"
"Sure, sure.. He said you are hot, he won't care."
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I spent the next few days in suspense. What was the big secret of Keith's beneath-the-belt gifts? Was he remarkably small, or gigantic?
On Friday the four of us -- Keith, Yuri, Barney, and me -- met for dinner at Rosie's Bar and Grill in Wilton Manors, and then went cruising at the Filling Station.
I kissed and groped Keith a bit -- nothing unusually small or large presented itself.
When we got home, Barney excused himself and went into his bedroom. Yuri wrapped his arms around Keith and asked "Is it ok if Jeff comes with us?"
"That'd be great!" Keith exclaimed. "I'm anxious to try this sharing thing!"
We went into Yuri's bedroom and stripped. Except Keith kept his boxers on!
He climbed atop Yuri, they kissed, and soon he slid his boxers off. Soon I was watching his butt as he topped Yuri. Without a condom!
"Hey, Yuri, you forgot something!" I said.
"No, not a problem," he murmured, reaching for me.
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Not a problem? Because somebody found a cure for AIDS while I was asleep? Because Keith was monogamous for a long time?
When they finished, Keith stood to go into the bathroom and wash off. I saw it before he pulled his boxers back on.
His penis was average sized, not gigantic but nothing to be ashamed of. But beneath it was smooth -- no testicles.
"Yeah," Keith said, noticing me trying not to look. "I'm a little self-conscious about it." He went to the bathroom.
"That's what I want you to see," Yuri said. "I never saw that before, no...um...balls."
Keith returned and sat down on the bed. "I've never produced any testosterone, so I have to get shots every few weeks. That means that my testicles have atrophied, and I have orgasms but don't produce any semen. So I don't need to use condoms."
"Don't they have prosthetics?"
"Sure, but why bother? They'd just be good for showing off in the locker room, and I wear a towel. Besides, my ex didn't care."
"Who cares if you do not make semen?" Yuri asked. "I don't want to have a baby." He pulled Keith on top of him.
When we talk about beneath-the-belt gifts, we're always talking about the penis. Does testicle size matter?
Not to Yuri. They dated for about three months.
See also: The Naked Baseball Player in My Kitchen
I had to admit that Keith was exactly Yuri's type: early 40s, tall, balding, bearded, pleasantly muscular, with a hairy chest. Plus a sports nut, a former college football star who sometimes sat in the lounge watching this or that game.
"Anyway, he's out. After Jim, I can't stand closets anymore." Yuri had just broken up with Jim the Baseball Player, mostly over the issue of outness.
So Yuri and Keith went to some sort of sports match, then returned to the house to spend the night.
In the middle of the night I had to go past Yuri's room to get to the bathroom. The door was open to take advantage of the breeze. They were lying in each other's arms. Yuri was naked, but Keith was wearing boxers.
Wait -- he had sex, then put his underwear back on?
At breakfast in the morning, Keith told us that he had been in a monogamous relationship with his college boyfriend for 18 years, and only started dating when they broke up. He had never been to a bear party or a bath house, and never shared a boyfriend.
I wanted to ask, Is that why you're so shy about displaying yourself? But I kept mum.
"I'm anxious to try everything, though" he added with a grin.
I noticed that they were holding hands under the table. Apparently the date went well.
"Details!" I exclaimed. "Details!"
"What do you mean? We had a nice time. I will call Keith for another date tonight."
"And...."
He blushed a little, and looked away. "And...he likes to kiss. In bed he is a top."
"You know what I'm talking about, Mr. Size Queen!"
"Oh, that! Well -- there is something. I don't know if I can tell you."
Why was he being so mysterious? "We tell each other everything. Don't leave me in suspense -- just give me a number!"
"No, no. I don't know how to explain it. You should see." He headed toward his bedroom, then paused and turned back. "Ok, this is what we will do -- when I date Keith again, we will share."
I stared in surprise. "On the second date? Are you sure?"
"Sure, sure.. He said you are hot, he won't care."
On Friday the four of us -- Keith, Yuri, Barney, and me -- met for dinner at Rosie's Bar and Grill in Wilton Manors, and then went cruising at the Filling Station.
I kissed and groped Keith a bit -- nothing unusually small or large presented itself.
When we got home, Barney excused himself and went into his bedroom. Yuri wrapped his arms around Keith and asked "Is it ok if Jeff comes with us?"
"That'd be great!" Keith exclaimed. "I'm anxious to try this sharing thing!"
We went into Yuri's bedroom and stripped. Except Keith kept his boxers on!
He climbed atop Yuri, they kissed, and soon he slid his boxers off. Soon I was watching his butt as he topped Yuri. Without a condom!
"Hey, Yuri, you forgot something!" I said.
"No, not a problem," he murmured, reaching for me.
When they finished, Keith stood to go into the bathroom and wash off. I saw it before he pulled his boxers back on.
His penis was average sized, not gigantic but nothing to be ashamed of. But beneath it was smooth -- no testicles.
"Yeah," Keith said, noticing me trying not to look. "I'm a little self-conscious about it." He went to the bathroom.
"That's what I want you to see," Yuri said. "I never saw that before, no...um...balls."
Keith returned and sat down on the bed. "I've never produced any testosterone, so I have to get shots every few weeks. That means that my testicles have atrophied, and I have orgasms but don't produce any semen. So I don't need to use condoms."
"Don't they have prosthetics?"
"Sure, but why bother? They'd just be good for showing off in the locker room, and I wear a towel. Besides, my ex didn't care."
"Who cares if you do not make semen?" Yuri asked. "I don't want to have a baby." He pulled Keith on top of him.
When we talk about beneath-the-belt gifts, we're always talking about the penis. Does testicle size matter?
Not to Yuri. They dated for about three months.
See also: The Naked Baseball Player in My Kitchen